Gods Of Fire: The My Big, Black Cock Interview
“Drink…from the nectar of the Gods…”
From left to right: DJ Blood Sacrifice, the departed Evil Ray, Prometheus, Saucy Jack, Fra Diavolos.
Normally, I like to fill this space with a little something to introduce you to the subject of each interview, but what can I possibly say about this next band that hasn’t already been said by Christian fundamentalists, the PMRC, or Satan? Heck, the Gods Of Fire are such a bastion of metal greatness that Satan manages them, as you’re about to read! I kid you not! Vocalist Prometheus, guitarists Saucy Jack and DJ Blood Sacrifice, drummer Fra Diavolos, “Fire-ette” Lucretia XXX, the mysterious “New bassist”, and even Satan himself recently took some time out of their busy schedule of preparing for their upcoming New York gigs (see the bottom of this article…they’re playing TONIGHT, November 10th in New York at Arlene’s for one!), torturing souls and listening to “Sad Wings Of Destiny” on repeat play to talk to My Big, Black Cock about their endeavors, the power of METAL, and their day-to-day debauchery.
Scott Crawford: We know what Prometheus’ story is, as by now all mortals should be familiar with The Story Of Fire. What drew the rest of you to the flame?
DJ Blood Sacrifice: I was born of the flame, I live by the flame, and will die by the flame.
“New bassist”: I was born, died and then was born again to play in this band. With that evil Evil Ray out of the way, I can now fulfill my destiny.
Saucy Jack: There was once a day when I was but a boy, sitting on an airplane, listening to Eddie Van Halen shred through a wicked solo. A friend of my mother, Mrs. Jack, asked what I was listening to.
I replied, “I am listening to METAL.”
She said, “Why aren’t you listening to Technotronic or hip hop like everyone else?”
It was at that point that I decided that I must save the world from crappy music using the might of metal.
SC: Do you have any plans to play shows outside of the New York area?
Saucy: There are plans in the works for pure world domination. So that answer would be “yes”.
DJBS: Not until we get our shit together enough to make a record.
SC: When will the full-length Gods Of Fire album be ready?
Saucy: When the fires of Hell and the voices that converse in my head tell me it is time to do so. They are fiesty, the time is near.
DJBS: Not until we get our shit together enough to play shows outside of New York City.
SC: When you’re creating your music, what sources do you draw upon for inspiration?
DJBS: I got very into a video game called “Silent Hill”, so I wrote “Welcome to Hell”. “Eternally Strong” was inspired by Ray Brent Marsh, the guy in Georgia who ran a crematorium but was storing the bodies around his property instead of burning them. I am convinced he was trying to re-animate an army of zombies. I combined that idea with an HP Lovecraft book which is about pretty much the same thing, but inspired some more badass occult imagery. Otherwise I just write about wizards and orcs and beautiful women.
Prometheus: Archetypes. As in a Greek tragedy, the ideas are larger than life and trancend themselves into comprehensible through the music we make. Destruction, Death, Glory, Fire, Love…these are the stuff that METAL is made of.
Saucy: The bands I listen to, the fellow shredders I listen to, and anything that I come across in life that is METAL (i.e. The Long Walk is derived from a Stephen King book, it is the most METAL book I ever read). In other words…we are inspired by things that are metal, to make more metal.
SC: Sadly, the great Evil Ray had to leave the band. Why has he forsaken metal in this way?
DJBS: A woman.
Prometheus: California. He was working for Arnold Schwarzenegger the whole time, that double-crossing SOB.
Saucy: The Demon that is known as “California” and “His wife’s great job” captured his soul and moved him to the forsaken land of Orange County. If it was not for “Live After Death” we would have had Satan set Long Beach Arena aflame instead of the woods.
SC: What can you tell us about Evil Ray’s replacement (perhaps even letting them tell us about themselves in their own words)?
Saucy: He will crush your soul if you play out of time.
“New bassist”: You will feel the bass rumble in your bones and know it is good.
SC: What do you do in your spare time, when you’re not busy spreading the power of Metal? Or, if you have no spare time because of the awesome responsibility on your shoulders, what would you do if you did have spare time?
Saucy: I try to have “relations” with the succubae of the underworld.
Prometheus: I play mah jong with Saucy, drink fine wine w/ Satan and Fra Diavolo and discuss the state of the world and other epicurian delights. My cavorting with DJ Blood is of a different nature, suffice it to say it is an exploration into the realm of the id evoking images of eating animals raw, graveyards, sulpher, bloody scythes and bleu cheese.
DJBS: You can learn all about my interests here. Additionally, I love alcohol, Italian horror films, video games, Chinese food, and a good trim rather than a total shave.
SC: Do you, like the great Ronnie James Dio, frown on frivolous use of the \m/ sign by rank amateurs like Britney Spears?
DJBS: Metal, much like Jesus, will not judge who seeks aid. Metal will accept confession and give absolution. If Britney wants to throw horns, let her. We all know better, and for the amount of masturbations I have had over her, I feel it’s the least I can do.
Prometheus: Use it all you want ye that are ignorant of its power. Just don’t be surprised when the flames of Hell appear in your bedroom at 4:30 in the morning awaking you from an innocent slumber as the homonculi snatch your soul, shape it, caress it and transform you into the metal loving zealot that you are soon to become…HAHAHA!!!
Saucy: ABSOLUTELY. Dio is a forefather of METAL. I will NEVER forget the face of my forefathers!
SC: What would you like to say to the aspiring Gods Of Fire groupies in the audience?
DJBS: I am disease-free and if I go down, I’m not coming up for hours.
Saucy: Come once, come again. The way to my heart is simple, sensitivity.
Prometheus: Feed the Flames!
SC: Prometheus, do you ever get tired of being struck down and resurrected night after night?
Prometheus: I should say so. Fortunately Herakles freed me from my bonds a while back to end my eternal torment. I have developed quite a hatred of birds over the course of my bondage. There’s only so much a Titan can take before he reaches his breaking point and snaps.
SC: For those members of the audience who would like to reach your
Halfordian heights, what steps do you recommend they take to keep their
voices in shape?
Prometheus: I live on shots of gasoline. I eat broken glass and rusty nails each morning for breakfast. These items fuel me with the energy needed to create my SCREEEEEEEEEEAMMMMMMMMS of metal!! Oh yeah, Yoga and a good night’s sleep help too.
SC: Saucy Jack and DJ Blood Sacrifice, have you ever set an audience on fire by burning up a fretboard with your incendiary guitar playing, and throwing your guitars to them so they can lap up the flames like the dogs that they are?
Saucy: I am the soft, sensitive guitar player of the band. I want to make sure each member of the audience is alive by the end of the show. That said, the answer is “yes”. These are considered “acceptable losses”.
DJBS: It is like you transcribe my dreams.
SC: What thoughts go through your heads when you’re making the “mean guitar player badass” face?
DJBS: I am a golden God!
Saucy: There are no thoughts. The “mean guitar player badass” face merely represents the mindless ecstasy that comes from knowing that you are part of a well-oiled METAL machine of mass destruction. If you are thinking, you will look unattractive. I will not allow myself to look unattractive. Why do you think I groom my chest hair with such love and care?
SC: Fra Diavolos, despite your superior ability to pummel us with your drumming, you come across as the most low-key of the Gods. Should we take this at face value, or are you just laying low because you’re up to no good?
Fra: My musical roots are to be found in medieval choir music, hence my low key demeanor: however maturity was achieved playing in a (torture) chamber music quartet, hence my well honed pummeling skills. Only playing with GOF I am allowed to reach godly heights with the basest of skills.
SC: Who would win in a fight, you or the drummer from Manowar?
Fra: I am afraid that victory is not in the black eye of the beholder.
SC: LucretiaXXX, how many licks does it take to get to the center of a Fire-ette?
LucretiaXXX: How many licks you got, champ?
SC: Do the mortals reading this have ANY chance of dating a Fire-ette?
LucretiaXXX: I only date short, fat, bald men who can drink their weight in beer. However, I’ll fuck anyone.
SC: Satan, there are a lot of metal bands in the world, and some would even say that involving yourself with a boy band would be far more evil and Satanic of you. What made you pick these guys?
Satan: Gods Of Fire are excellent examples of my Satanic ideals. These true Metal kings and the equally sinsiter Fire-ette Queens live their lives and play their music to serve me. Through my involvement I get to skim 20% off the top.
SC: Pop-up ads: why’d you have to do it, man?
Satan: High click-thru rates. I’ll do anything to make advertisers happy.
SC: Finally, what are the ultimate goals of the Gods Of Fire?
DJBS: We will not stop until all learn to speak with the true voice of Metal!
Prometheus: To save the world with the power of METAL!
If you’d like to experience the power of a Gods Of Fire show live, you will have two opportunities before the end of the year. The first is TONIGHT, November 10th at 9 PM, at Arlene’s Grocery in New York, shortly before Punk Rock/Heavy Metal Karaoke. The next, for those of you who like to plan these things long-term, is New Year’s Eve, also at Arlene’s (this time, with Kiss Nation as well as the Punk Rock/Heavy Metal Karaoke band!).