Christ, there are a lot of people in this band, and I’ll totally fuck up the names if I even try to name them all: Pinky Beecroft (center, in pimp-tastic red track suit) and the rest of Machine Gun Fellatio, who are going to call me on being the right cunt that I am for not naming each of them individually. If I’m lucky, anyway. Oh, fine, fuck it, let’s have a go at this, and let them at least kill me for getting a name wrong: (from left to right) KK Juggy, Brian Ferrysexual, Three K, Pinky Beecroft, The Love Shark, Chit Chat Von Loopinstab, The Widow Jones. Fucking ‘ell.
(Photo courtesy of MGF’s web site, uncredited)
I should totally be ashamed of myself. This has got to rank as one of the most slack interview procedures in the history of interviewing. Way back in October, Australian sleaze rock gods Machine Gun Fellatio came all the way around the world to get naked, take some drugs, and play a gig in…the upstairs room of a strip joint here in New York City (they also stopped in the UK and went on to California, but let’s not let that get in the way of good copy!). Plans were made at the time for singer/keyboardist/”cunt of the band” Pinky Beecroft and I to do an interview coinciding with the gig, which because of illness, I very sadly missed. Plans were adjusted for an email interview, and Pinky warned me in advance that I’d have to keep bugging him to remember it, because he’s a forgetful sort. So I did, and did so for a few months. During that time, Mr. Beecroft lost my questions at least once, apologized about twice as many times, and in a completely unrelated incident, his band opened for Robbie Williams and Duran Duran back home. Finally, about 2 weeks ago, Pinky delivered the goods: all my questions were answered, and the story was set. All I had to do was post them…a few days went by, a week, and now two weeks later, after my stellar attempt to look far less professional than my interview subject (who really was generous with his time) I’ve finally gotten off my ass to bring you all Pinky Beecroft: The My Big, Black Cock Interview. Thanks and apologies go out to Pinky and the rest of the MGF crew; hopefully, I’ll have the stamina for you kids next time you’re in the States, and I mean that in a few different ways, all of them good. You folks should check them out too if you haven’t already; they really need to be heard to be appreciated (and there are clips in the “Media” section of their site), as wordy, cunty little rock journalist descriptions of their sound do them no justice.

SC: How did your trip to England and the States go?

Pinky: It was okay, I think. The US leg was a whole lot more fun than the UK…. mostly I guess because everything seems possible in the US. And the food is edible.

SC: Any interesting anecdotes from the various cities you hit?

Pinky: There are interesting anecdotes from every city; i’m not sure where to start. In Nottingham UK we came on stage after 6 punk bands, then Andrew W.K., then us. Thousands of nu-punk types, and me in a lemon crushed velvet suit. It was an interesting meeting. In LA the bouncers at the Viper Room made Chit Chat (one of the guys in the band) put his clothes back on, right after he’d just stripped off. Which the rest of us very much appreciated.

SC: Were the gigs in the States showcases for US labels, or just for the
hell of it?

Pinky: A bit of both. We’d love to score a decent deal with a US label, but then again if it doesn’t happen, we’ve had a fantastic time there.

SC: When should we expect a new MGF album?

Pinky: Everybody keeps asking me this. I don’t know. I need to write some songs, and so do the others. As soon as i stop coughing.

SC: Your score for “Gettin’ Square” has just been nominated for several awards, and I think your band’s music often comes across as having a
“cinematic” feel to it. Would you guys ever consider moving strictly to film scores, or is the thrill of confusing the hell out of live audiences just too alluring to give up?

Pinky: I doubt that you could get us to move strictly to anything. We’re not very strict. We’d like to do more film scores, but it’s a matter of time. Time is a great problem.

SC: Do you have any more offers to score movies lined up at the moment?

Pinky: No.

SC: Do you have any offers to score anything else (drugs, hookers, etc.) lined up at the moment?

Pinky: Yes certainly. Our fans seem particularly adept at scoring all sorts of things for us. If we could get our fans to score the movies for us, we’d have it made.

SC: In Australia, you’ve got upcoming dates booked in stadiums opening for Robbie Williams and Duran Duran. In the US, you played, among other places, the upstairs room of a strip joint. Which do you prefer?

Pinky: I don’t think we prefer one or the other. Which is a fucked answer but it’s true. The New York gig at the Pussycat Lounge was I think the best show we’ve ever done. It had a lot of energy. Then again, supporting Robbie Williams at Aussie Stadium in front of 50 thousand people was fun too. It’s funny, in both cases it depends on the crowd. And what drugs you’re on. And what drugs the crowd is on.

SC: When you played with Robbie Williams and Duran Duran, did you encourage them to take their clothes off as your band members so often do, or
encourage them to keep them on?

Pinky: I generally encourage males to keep their clothes on. Particularly Englishmen.

SC: On that note, I have to ask at least one question that you’re totally
tired of hearing by now, I’m sure: why do your band members take their clothes off so much?

Pinky: It gets hot on stage.

SC: You guys switch gears a bunch in your music. Is it ever hard to get
used to shifting between something like “Muthafukka On A Motorcycle” and the very different “Unsent Letter”, particularly live?

Pinky: Yes it is sometimes. But then again, it’s also hard to stay in the one groove. I can’t imagine how some bands cope, playing the same song twenty times every night, night after night. I mean, are they always in the same mood? How do they do that? My own mood shifts every ten minutes some days.

SC: According to a friend of mine who lives in Australia, most Australian acts who achieve success in the US are, in his own words, “shithouse”. First off, do you agree with this assessment from a fellow Australian? Second, do you have any plans to become shithouse in the future to improve your chances of being successful here?

Pinky: To answer the second part first, I think we’re pretty shithouse already. I don’t know how we could become more shithouse than we already are. In fact we’re so shithouse it’s a wonder we’re not number one in the US.

As for the first part of your question, I don’t know of too many Australian acts who achieved success in the US. I can think of INXS, who definitely weren’t shithouse. Michael Hutchence had a great voice. Who else was there? Crowded House were a New Zealand band, nothing to do with us. Who else is there? Air Supply were way before my time.

SC: What do you guys know of your US fan base?

Pinky: Nothing. Do we have a US fan base?

SC: What role do you feel the Internet has played in your popularity,
particularly outside of Australia?

Pinky: Very little. I’m surprised, actually, by how little the Internet seems to influence anything.

SC: What are your views on people who download and trade your music?

Pinky: It depends. If they make money out of it, then it kinda pisses me off. But you know, I understand the urge to get stuff for free. It’s such a difficult area that it’s hard to say who’s right and who’s wrong. I know that when I was a thirteen year old I would make tapes of albums that I couldn’t afford to buy. But then I see fuckers in the pirate CD business who are simply into making money, not making music and I want to kill them. So ummmmm� it’s complicated. Obviously. I would like to be able to make a living out of playing and writing music, but because of the technology, it’s getting harder and harder. You have to be kind of unbelievably bland to get a big audience. Which is sad. I dunno, I think I should start looking for a job as a postman.

SC: How has Australia’s reaction to file-sharing differed from what you know of America’s? In some ways, from what I read, it gets cracked down on even harder there than here (including a report I read recently that ARIA is seeking jail time for some guys who got caught running an mp3 server).

Pinky: Yeah Australia seems more hardcore than anywhere at the moment. The thing is, record companies don’t know how to deal with this stuff. They don’t know how to survive. They get eaten by bigger media conglomerates - soon there will be no little fish, just big fucking whales. And I’m not sure whether those big fucking whales want to hear anything from a band like Machine Gun Fellatio. I think they want Celine Dion number 652�. or Beyonce number 12 zillion. Who’s going to take the risks? I don’t know. The problem I think is less about the internet and pirating music and more about the radio. Because radio is refusing to take any risks, and this is where new or original music gets hurt - because the average person doesn’t get to hear it. But then again, maybe that’s because the average person is so fucking average that he or she doesn’t want to hear it. So� what do you do? Pop another ‘flu tablet, drink the whiskey, scratch your chest. Shag somebody. That’s pretty much all we can do. Keep fucking.

SC: I’m tired of asking questions.

Pinky: Yeah, I’m tired of asking questions too.

SC: What questions would you like to be asked in interviews like these?

Pinky: I would like to be asked the following questions:

1. Pinky, can I please give you 5 million dollars?

2. Pinky, can I please give you an apartment in New York, free of
charge?

3. Pinky, would you please find time to have a threesome with my two
gorgeous female friends?

SC: OK, since that last one went so well, I’ll ask two more questions. Aside from the ones I’ve just asked you (particularly the “Why do your band members get naked so much?” one), what questions do you never want to be asked by a journalist again?

Pinky: I would like never to be asked the following questions:

1. Pinky, can you put my name on the guestlist?

2. Pinky can you tell me off the record of course about your drug
problems? Alcohol problems? Mental health problems?

3. So um Pinky what do you do in the band?

4. What sort of music is it?

SC: Finally, what are your hopes for MGF in the future?

Pinky: I hope that some insanely rich American falls in love with one of our songs, preferably one that I’ve written, and gives us (or, better still, just me) a vast amount of US cash to do pretty much whatever the fuck we/I want to do.

Or, failing that, I would like to get a little more sleep in the next few months, and write a few decent songs, and see my gardenia grow just a little more.

This entry was posted on Monday, January 19th, 2004 at 1:47 am and is filed under The Interviews.. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.