The Wang Archive: Zamboni, Part 6
Zamboni here. am excited. go camping. mom , guido, and greta go too. guido and greta mom’s goats. get in mom’s truck. go to forrest. me ride in back. in back with guido and greta. take stanley out of my pocket. he my frog. people on interstate look at us funny. don’t know why. have to pee. stand up in truck. pull out horatio. he my penis. start peeing. guy behind us honking. he using sign language. Zamboni don’t know sign language. wave to him with horatio. keep peeing. yell at man behind us. tell him to turn on windshield wipers. he not very smart. done peeing. sit back down. guido pooped in back of truck. look at goat poop. see little white worms in poop. get worm to crawl on finger. me have new pet. guido lucky. he have pet worms in his butt. me want pet worm in butt. Zamboni pull down pants. put worm up butt. wind feel good on butt. stick butt over side of truck. car driving beside truck. boy stick tounge out at Zamboni. he must be hungry. probably want goat poop. goat poop good. taste like chicken. pick up goat poop. throw at boy. goat poop runny. stick to window of car. boy’s mom angry. she roll down window. she ask Zamboni what his problem is. tell her horatio itches. no problem other than that. she ask who . i say horatio. she can’t hear me. mom’s truck has no muffler. me point to horatio. horatio wave hi. her eyes get big. she start swerving. she drive in ditch. women drivers. look in truck window. see mom. she drinking beer. listening to country music. oh that mom. she one crazy chick. we stop at store. mom out of dip. she buy can of dip. Zamboni have quarter. me use phone. have pager. put on vibrate. put down pants. call pager number. BZZZZZZZ! BZZZZZZZ! BZZZZZZZ!. ooohhhhhh. feel so good. horatio throw up. tell mom i’m hungry. she buy me hotdog. get back in truck. get back on highway. get to forrest. find good spot. help mom pitch tent. mom chop wood. she built like lumberjack. she dress like lumberjack. she wear flannel shirt. she wear red fishnet stockings. mom sexy lumberjack. mom build fire. she cook dinner. cook baked beans. me like baked beans. make me fart. make mom fart. make guido and greta fart. fart fart fart. like to smell farts. our farts smell like fish. taste like chicken. will go on hike before dinner. take guido with me. hike for long time. meet park ranger. his name willie. willie nice person. he ask about guido. tell him he mom’s boyfriend. ask willie if he want to play with guido. he say sure. he pick up stick and throw it. i ask what he doing. he say he playing with guido. i say no no no. play with guido like this. Zamboni grab guidos balls. furry goat balls. sweaty goat balls. bouncy goat balls. fun furry sweaty bouncy goat balls. he look at me funny. ask him if he know yogi and boo-boo. he say not personnally. i like yogi and boo-boo. would like to have orgy with yogi boo-boo park ranger mom guido and greta. would need special picnic basket though. tell willie i have to go. mom fix dinner. get back to camp. mom putting special sauce on beans. she squat over pot. ooze ooze ooze. yum yum yum. Zambonis mouth watering. eat eat eat. yum yum yum. Zamboni get cramps now. have to poop. have to poop bad. pull down pants. take big poop. look at poop. me see many worms. worms had babies. Zamboni father now. hooray hooray hooray. me overjoyed. fatherhood a big responsibility though. Zamboni hope he can handle it. have to take care of my babies now. will write more some other day. bye bye now.