The Wang Archive: Zamboni, Part 7
hello everybody. it’s me. Zamboni back. sorry it been so long. was butt fucking guido. he my mom’s goat. made mistake. grabbed super glue instead of ky jelly. had to go to hospital. people look at me and guido funny. wanted me to stay for observation. me say no. me not crazy. just like anal sex with goats. Zamboni not having good day. have to go to doctor. got yeast infection from mom. burns when i pee. have puss discharge. taste good though. if you like puss that is. will go to free clinic. don’t want to. have to. no money. clinic scare Zamboni. strange people there. most not normal like Zamboni. will take bus. go to bus stop. man at bus stop. he old. he smell like sweaty feet. will sit next to him. like the smell of dirty feet. man pick nose. pull out big booger. he roll it in his fingers. he flick it away. what a waste. boogers are good eating. my nuts itch. reach in pants. pinch spot that itches. pinch and roll. pinch and roll method is best. feels good. bus come. Zamboni get on bus. put tokens in slot. Zamboni yell, “GIMME A BUS PASS!” don’t need one. just like to yell gimme a bus pass. get pass. sit down. see pretty girl. sit next to her. she smell funny. not like mom though. mom smell like fish. taste like chicken. girl smell like flowers. fish smell better. stare at girl. she ask why i staring. tell her i think about her. her and guido. she ask who guido is. i tell her. she say i am sick. she move to other seat. bus get to clinic. get off bus. go inside. sign in. sit in waiting room. nurse come to get Zamboni. her name is april. she seem nice. she take Zamboni to room. tell me she needs to take my temperature. she get thermometer. ask me to open mouth. me say no. don’t want in mouth. want up butt. that why i like getting my temperature taken. she say ok. me drop pants. stick butt in air. april put thermometer in butt. Zamboni wait. she not do it right. tell her to do it right. she say she is doing it right. tell her she isn’t. tell her to move it in and out. like this. grab thermometer. move it in out in out in out. feels good. make me hot. will have temperature now. april tell me to stop. Zamboni stop. she tell Zamboni she need urine sample. me say ok. drop pants. start peeing. peeing everywhere. on walls floor april myself. april look mad now. Zamboni sorry. guess april don’t like being peed on. she not like mom. good ‘ol mom. she do it all. april gone now. man come in. his name is dr. smith. he ask me what my problem is. i tell him mom gave me yeast infection. tell him my penis still sore from the super glue incident. he say that not my problem. he say it is chemical imbalance in Zamboni’s brain. he give me prescription for penicillin. tell me to leave. Zamboni have to go to drugstore now. will write more later. bye bye now.