New Year’s Resolution, Week 5
This week: Me 2, Fear 1
Current Score: Me 9, Fear 4
The good:
Finally made it to the coffee date from Week 1, even though it was Really Cold once again, and it yielded interesting results.
I’ve been continuing to try and make new friends when possible, and I’ve talked to some cool people that way.
The bad:
There’s been lot of procrastination beyond making said friends, because I’m really afraid to get too involved with people right now. I don’t want to get anyones’ hopes up, on a friendship level or a romantic one, until I feel more comfortable around people. Like I said, I’ve been coming into contact with a lot of people who could be fun, cool or just plain nice, but at the same time, there’s this apprehension on my part because I just don’t know who or what would be good for me, and because I’m not really sure where I’m welcome or safe. Now, “safe” can be bad in excess, but I think you need to feel at least a little safety to not end up curled up in the fetal position behind a dumpster, screaming racial slurs at onlookers and urinating on yourself. (Yeah, a little dramatic, but it made me laugh.). I’m once again in this place I arrive at sometimes where I just don’t know who wants to hear from me when I’m in the mood to talk to people, and with newer people, that’s obviously even harder to read. So, if you think I’m awesome and want to talk to me, make the first move sometimes and ENABLE ME.
Other than that, procrastination continues in general, on doctors’ appointment/bureaucracy stuff, music stuff and so forth, but the procrastination I described in the last paragraph’s been the worst, and most fear-based over the past week, plus I haven’t already lost a point to it (there was a point lost for one specific person, but not *everyone*), so it’s our boogeyman of the week.