1. “Abracadabra” by the Steve Miller Band, as covered by Tom Tom Club. I think the voices would sound cute on the lyrics, and the song could be a “Boom Boom Chi Boom Boom”-era Tom Tom Club song.

2. “You’ll Never Find (Another Love Like Mine)” by Lou Rawls, as covered by Lou Reed. You have to figure that people (not on sight or sound, of course) have mistaken the two for each other in moments of senility over the years, and it’d be kinda cool to hear Reed’s swagger on this song. It might be the kind of thing that would’ve only worked in his prime, but I’d be willing to hear him try it out now.

“Flashdance…What a Feeling” by Irene Cara, as done by VNV Nation.

“Dr. Feelgood” by Motley Crue, as performed by Leon Redbone.

I heard this idea mentioned a long time ago, and it returned to my brain today for some reason. Don’t like the song in its original form, but…

“Marilyn, My Bitterness” by the Cruxshadows, as performed by Tom Jones.

Someone get a note into Mr. Jones’ people. He’d totally do this if he heard the song.

Hey, kids, remember these?

Well, I came up with another one.

“Black Sabbath” by Black Sabbath, as done by…

They Might Be Giants.

Worth it just to hear John Flansburgh doing the riff from the end part a cappella, with almost a barber shop quartet feel. “Doobity-doobity-doobity-doobity!”

Even beyond that, though, can you imagine how goofy they could make this? Why, it’d be even goofier than the original!

Anyone know if they still do “Stump The Band” at their shows?

The Weather Girls’ “It’s Raining Men”, as performed by Miranda Sex Garden.

I had a great idea for one in the bathroom today. Sadly, it’s no longer logistically possible, but:

The Beatles’ “Back In The U.S.S.R.”, as covered by The Ramones.

I don’t think they ever did it, did they?

For a long time, I’ve thought about a mythical album of cover songs that I’d hire a bunch of different artists to work on, if I had unlimited means to bribe them into doing it. Given that I’m probably going to be short of the aforementioned “unlimited means” for the forseeable future, it’s occurred to me that the only way I’d get this record to happen is if I pulled a Phil Spector and held these artists at gunpoint while they recorded it. While I have no plans of ever doing such a thing, it does make for a catchy name, so here is the first installment of my wish list of songs I’d like to see covered by other artists, “Covers At Gunpoint”. These are in no order of importance to the collection. I haven’t Rob Gordoned out to the degree that I’m placing these in track order on imaginary “sides” yet. They’re just all things that, for some reason or another, I’d like to hear. If any of the bands mentioned have actually recorded these songs, I’d love to hear what they came up with, so please let me know if it’s happened. Here goes…

1. “Stairway To Heaven” by Led Zeppelin, as done by The Cure. I think this would probably be the most perfect cover song that’s never been done. Think about it: The Cure, in the good version of their “Disintegration”-forward form (basically that album and “Bloodflowers” with a hint of “Wish”), covering a song by a band that most Cure fans sought to escape when they got into The Cure in the first place.

2. “Never Say Never” by Romeo Void, as done by LL Cool J. If you change up the drumbeat a little, and surround it with vintage Def Jam sounding Rick Rubin production (thinking particularly about the horns here), this basically *is* an LL Cool J song.

3. “Funky Town” by Lipps Inc., as done by The Cult. I’m not sure why this works in my head, as Ian’s range doesn’t fit the vocals tremendously well, but I think this would, like the original, go in to the “so bad, it’s good” category. You’d have to take (interestingly enough, given both the last track I listed and the fact that he’s done a covers compilation of sorts with the “Less Than Zero” soundtrack) a sound similar to Rick Rubin’s work with them on “Electric” (think the not-so-great “Born To Be Wild” cover on there), and mesh it with some of the really over-the-top lead guitar work Billy Duffy did on “Sonic Temple” and the shelved “Peace Album” (that later became “Electric”) to cover the synth and violin leads. It’d be a trainwreck, but an entertaining one.

4. “It’s Too Late” by Carole King, as done by Nick Cave And The Bad Seeds. This track would’ve fit in perfectly on “Kicking Against The Pricks”, Nick’s cover record. Pretty straightforward reading.

5. “Find Another Fool” by Quarterflash, as done by Mindless Self Indulgence. If you’re familiar with the song and with MSI, you can probably already hear this one in your head. If not, run a couple of Google searches, and you’ll probably get it. I had this idea years ago, and actually sent an email to them suggesting it that I’m presuming got lost in the shuffle or ignored, but I know it’d work after hearing them cover Rush’s “Tom Sawyer”.

6. “How Deep Is Your Love” by The Bee Gees, as done by The Smashing Pumpkins. This is a near-perfect fit if you think about the Pumpkins’ mellower stuff, save for the falsetto parts. Those would probably have to get scrapped, as I can’t think of a tasteful way to get ‘em done within Billy Corgan’s vocal range.

7. “Mother” by Danzig, as done by RuPaul. Most of my interest in this song being redone by RuPaul has to do with how great the music video would be, I’ll admit it, but if you played the music pretty much note-for-note and had RuPaul do her schtick over the top of it, it’d become a bigger YouTube meme than 10 of Kelly’s videos combined. “Gonna take your daughter out tonight…gonna show her my world”, indeed.

After breaking your brains with that, I’ll leave more for part II, whenever that happens. There were at least one or two I was thinking of earlier this evening that I’m blanking on right now, so more should happen at some point. In the meantime, if you’ve got your own Covers At Gunpoint ideas, I’d love to hear them.