My Big, Black Cock. » My Letters To Guillen.

Ozzie Guillen News!

Scott Crawford — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 08:28:59 +0000

In case you guys missed it, the greatest manager in Chicago White Sox history finally brought some class to teh Twitters. Feel free to add him, though I’m not sure if he’s adding people back yet. Still a lot of fun to have him on there, though. Maybe I can get him to respond to my letters from so long ago.

My Letters To Guillen, Part III

Scott Crawford — Wed, 12 Jul 2006 17:17:32 +0000

As some of you know, I write emails to Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen, who has a public email address, from time to time. Sometimes, I get lengthy, but today’s was just a simple thank you note.

“Ozzie,

Been a while since I wrote last. Hope all is well. Just dropping you a quick thank you note for not using Francisco Liriano in the All-Star Game. Being able to start him on Thursday will help 2 of my fantasy teams a lot.

Take Care,
-S”

And, of course, for those who are big fans of it like I am, here is the ubiquitious 1986 Topps Ozzie Guillen rookie card. What a great friggin’ rookie card.

My Letters To Guillen, Part II

Scott Crawford — Wed, 05 Oct 2005 18:49:29 +0000

Unlike a week or so ago, I seem to have gotten one through without it bouncing! Here’s what I said to Mr. Guillen (who, for those of you just joining us, is the manager of the AL Central Champion Chicago White Sox, and apparently encourages email correspondence):

To: Ozzie Guillen
From: Scott Crawford
Subject: The Playoffs

Dear Ozzie,

I tried sending you an email before the season finished, asking you to dispose of the Red Sox by way of keeping them out of the playoffs. Unfortunately, the Indians didn’t cooperate, so they made it in. However, yesterday was a good step in the right direction. Please continue to instruct your team to do what they did yesterday to the Red Sox over and over again until they go away. FOREVER.

Thanks in advance,
Scott Crawford
Webmaster, My Big, Black Cock.

http://www.mybigblackcock.com/

P.S. As I said in my first email, which didn’t get through: kudos on having such an excellent Topps rookie card.”

And, for those of you who can’t get enough of it, here’s that rookie card again:

You can’t tell me that it isn’t a great goddamn rookie card. Look at him!

I’ll keep you all posted on further developments.

I Write Letters

Scott Crawford — Fri, 23 Sep 2005 13:09:09 +0000

In case you missed it in Deadspin or elsewhere, Chicago White Sox manager Ozzie Guillen has an email address. Being the type of person that likes to communicate with people (even those who I don’t agree with so much), I thought I’d send him a letter. Since his inbox is full right now, I am reprinting the letter here, just in case he’s a My Big, Black Cock reader, and I will be trying to resend the email periodically until it gets through.

“Dear Mr. Guillen,

I, like many others, have noticed your ballclub slipping in the standings, and quite a few people seem to think that Cleveland are about to take the division lead from you. Now, that part’s neither here nor there for me. I don’t have any great stake in the AL Central race. However, I do have a small favor to ask of you and the White Sox. If you’re going to slip in the standings like this, could you do us Yankee fans a favor and at least finish with a better record than Boston so we can have a post-season off from them? We’re really sick of looking at the Red Sox. Even without Pedro, the mere mention of them gives us a headache.

Thanks in advance for your cooperation and understanding in this matter.

Sincerely,
Scott Crawford
Webmaster, My Big, Black Cock.
http://www.mybigblackcock.com/

P.S. Kudos on having an excellent Topps rookie card.”

Seriously, tell me this isn’t a great friggin’ baseball card, especially for a rookie card:

If I hear back from Ozzie, I’ll let you all know how it goes.