11th Annual My Big, Black Cock coverage of the ING NYC Marathon

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., NYC Marathon. on November 6th, 2011 by Scott Crawford

Important links:

Official Marathon Site | Official Marathon Facebook | Official Marathon Twitter

Pro Men’s Bios | Pro Women’s Bios | Pro Wheeler’s Bios | Marathon FAQ

Official Marathon iOS App | Official Marathon Android App

Track My Runners (via web and SMS)

Official Marathon Flickr Tag | Official Marathon Flickr Tag (Slideshow View)

7:15 AM: What, did you think I wasn’t going to do it this year? Fuck that. I’m just waking up, but I’ll be starting up momentarily with links to the pro bios and such. Let me eat my breakfast, take some drugs and we’ll get things under way.

7:30 AM: OK, some of the links are up, breakfast has been eaten, and the TV’s on. First shots of Ft. Wadsworth! Still need to take drugs, though.

7:40 AM: Channel 4′s showing non-marathon stuff for the next 80 minutes, damn them. Little by little, I’m digging up all the pertinent links. Took my drugs, too! If you’re a longtime marathon viewer like I am, you’ll notice that the pro men’s and women’s bios have a lot of new faces, especially the women’s pro field.

7:55 AM: I’ll be using the iOS app today too (on an iPad 2), along with the television, so we’ll see how that works out. Ideally, I’ll be able to track individual runners without fighting server crashes on the main marathon site, so if you’d like updates on your people (especially if they’d like a shout-out on here!), give me a buzz with their race info (and preferred way of having their name mentioned here, since, yeah, this site isn’t everyone’s favorite way to appear in Google results) at suck@mybigblackcock.com!

8:00 AM: On an unrelated note, Open House NYC (one of the unrelated pre-marathon shows) just featured a cool sounding non-profit called The Book Connection, based in Queens Village, NY. Alas, despite my link, their site appears to be down. Book Connection folks, get in touch! I’d love to help out and know others who probably would, too. Time for Meet The Press to shovel some shit our way for an hour. I’ll be bringing you more marathon resources in the meantime, if only to keep my sanity while these bought-and-paid-for nutjobs spew their nonsense.

8:22 AM: Wow, they just busted out an Onion quote on Meet The Press. This makes me incredibly happy, as The Onion is one of the only papers in the world who are actually reporting the news.

8:30 AM: Pro Wheelers just about to start. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
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8:33 AM: The rest of the start time schedule, if you didn’t see it on the Marathon FAQ yet.

Handcycle Category and certain AWDs start at 8:55 a.m.
Wave 1 (including other AWDs) starts at 9:40 a.m.
Wave 2 starts at 10:10 a.m.
Wave 3 starts at 10:40 a.m.

Stay tuned! Meet The Press will be put out of its misery soon enough!

8:39 AM: Ha, Jennie Finch is running today. Good luck, Jennie!

8:40 AM: For those of you on Twitter, the #ingnycm tag is the one the official marathon account is suggesting.

8:43 AM: Man, I need coffee. And Advil. Back in a few, folks!

8:57 AM: Advil and Ethiopian coffee acquired, and Meet The Press is OVER, baby! NBC goes live in 3 minutes!

8:59 AM: Handcyclists about to start! Kudos to the Official marathon Twitter for staying on top of things this year!

9 AM: Wow, in-app purchase required to watch the marathon on the iPad. Apparently, they’ve never heard of commercial. Ah well. Al Trautwig doing the intro on my TV. We’re getting started. Awwww, nice tribute to Grete Waitz in the opening. We’ll miss you, Grete, just as we’ll miss you, Deb. This one’s for you gals.

9:05 AM: Kurt Fearnley’s in the lead pack of 4 men’s wheelers, no surprise there. The surprise is that he hasn’t put away the pack. He’s usually crazy strong out of the gate, even was when he dragged his shoulder along 4th Ave. in Brooklyn. We’ll keep an eye on Kurt and the rest!

9:07 AM: Tatyana McFadden and Edith Wolf-Hunkeler neck and neck in the womens’ wheelers. That should be a scrap. Mark Messier (he’s a hockey player, folks) is running today! So is Apolo Ohno (who’s apparently an Olympian and won Dancing With The Stars; I don’t watch a lot of either, so I’m unfamiliar).

9:12 AM: Pro women about to start! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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Really nice touch here, Joan Jett’s cover of “Roadrunner” playing the women off as they take to the Verrazano. I think that’s new.

9:18 AM: First commercial break comin’ atcha.

The booth seems to love Mary Keitany this year. Me, I’m waiting until they’re into Brooklyn before I make any predictions in either field. Weather’s gonna change rapidly this morning, 10-15 degree sweep, so it’s really too early to pin down a frontrunner in my book.

9:19 AM: Every time I see Ft. Wadsworth, I wonder if Snake Eyes is hangin’ out with the marathoners. He’s much cooler than Mario Lopez, though Mario’s definitely running today.

9:21 AM: Fearnley and McGrory are leading the wheelers’ packs. Mary Keitany’s the rabbit in the womens’ pack as they’re finishing up the bridge.

9:24 AM: Ha, CHILEAN MINER II: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO! Awesome stuff, Edison Pena came back even after a tough, tough race for him last year.

9:26 AM: Edison Pena just busted out with a little “Suspicious Minds”. Seems like he’s in good spirits.

9:28 AM: Another little video tribute to Grete before commercial break 2. I think we’ll see a LOT of these today. Very few people have given to this race like Grete has, so that’s a solid, classy use of television time.

9:30 AM: Mary Keitany’s got a 30 meter lead already! Jeebus! Men’s wheelers are halfway through the race, Kurt Fearnley, Kota “Hoki” Hokinoue and Masazumi “Soey” Soejima are the lead pack there. I have to like Fearnley, gutsy racer, one of the gutsiest athletes I’ve ever seen in any sport.

9:36 AM: Almost time for the first wave of the masses and the pro men. Also: you can’t even see the rest of the pro women. I think Keitany’s strategy is damn near suicidal. TV commentators have her running a pro men’s pace. They just showed the Fearnley crash from ’06 again. Brutal. Guy got up and set the fucking course record, though. He is a monster. First mention of the Five Borough Challenge. They’re going with “people who have faced significant challenges” as their theme. They’re underway already, but they just mentioned the damn thing now.

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9:40 AM: Meb!

Pro mens’ intros happening now. Must every sporting event abuse “Enter Sandman” now? Ugh.

9:42 AM: Oops, organizers had their Mutais mixed up for a second there.

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9:46 AM: Weird, different recording (assuming it’s a recording) of “New York, New York”. That’s not OK. Did the marathon get licensing-jacked or something?

9:48 AM: Gary Russo singing “New York, New York”. With all due respect to Mr. Russo, HE AIN’T FRANK.

9:50 AM: Official marathon Twitter reporting a minute lead for Mary Keitany. Nuts. Just…nuts. If it works, she and her trainers are geniuses. If not…well, she’s gonna have a miserable time once she’s into Manhattan.

9:51 AM: MOAR COFFEE. Back in a minute!

9:54 AM: Wow, she’s not even there, and they still have to bring up Paula Radcliffe. Obsessed, NBC! You’re obsessed!

9:55 AM: 1 minute and 20 second lead for Keitany.

9:57 AM: Another Grete video package. Comments by Bill Rodgers! I wish he’d spend more time with this marathon.

10:01 AM: Hour 2 of TV coverage starting. 25 runners in the men’s lead pack right now at 3 miles-ish.

Wow! Masazumi “Soey” Soejima wins the men’s wheeler race! He’s been bridesmaid a few times here and won Boston this year, but I still have to consider this an upset! Congrats to him! Here’s some video of it!

10:04 AM: Women on mile 10, still a pack of 5 women who are about 500 miles behind Keitany.

10:06 AM: Someday, NBC Universal will give their people decent transmitters when they’re on the course. Lotta tech glitches again this year.

10:10 AM: Sisay of Ethiopia in the men’s lead, but the commentators have the rest of the men’s pack (down to about 15) laughing at his tiny, ineffective penis based upon his credentials. Hey guys, remember Gomes dos Santos?

10:14 AM: For those of you not interested in the race at all, Miranda Cosgrove from iCarly is making spaghetti tacos on “Hungry Girl” on the Food Network!

10:15 AM: Official race Twitter gives Sisay some props, noting that he finished well in the NYC Half with this strategy.

10:20 AM: The masses have just hit 4th Ave. in Brooklyn. Second wave just started!

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Mary Keitany is 5 minutes ahead of a world record (yes, world, not course) pace right now.

10:21 AM: Biggest disappointment of the marathon so far? The iOS app being ransomware, essentially. What a damned waste of resources.

10:24 AM: Men’s course record seems to be under threat today, too. I think we’re gonna see a rough time in Manhattan, though.

10:25 AM: Amanda McGrory wins the women’s wheeler race, 2006 winner, now 2011 winner! Congrats, Amanda!

10:26 AM: I just yelled “RUNNNNNNN!” at the TV set again. The coffee, it is helping.

10:29 AM: Wow, Keitany’s on the 59th St. Bridge already? Christ. Also: video streams are totally borked on the web sites.

10:31 AM: Jennie Finch in the 3rd wave, starting last, doing that “dollar for every person she passes to charity” deal. Good for her. 4 months removed from the birth of her second kid!

10:32 AM: Keitany slowing down a bit, but she’s coming onto 1st Ave. soon.

10:35 AM: Men’s pack down to 9. Sisay still there. I’m sorry, but I think he’s gonna finish stronger than everyone else does. Keitany’s turning onto 1st. Crowd’s going nuts.

10:37 AM: Women’s chase pack of 4 has cut Keitany’s lead, but they’re 2:19 back. Still under a course record, but being ridiculously outpaced thus far, with about 10 miles to go.

10:43 AM: In Greenpoint. Sisay in 4th, but with a really nice stride. Back in 1st now. I like the guy. Geoffrey Mutai seems to be the announce team’s favorite, and he looks good too, but there’s almost always an X factor in this race.

10:46 AM: Keitany just finished mile 17. Slower pace, but I’m not sure how much that matters if she keeps running. Huge if.

10:49 AM: Masses all on 4th Ave. in Brooklyn. Good to see ‘em! Hope they get more airtime this year!

10:54 AM: Men’s race at the halfway mark. Emmanuel (not to be confused with Geoffrey) Mutai in the lead right now, Sisay in 3rd.

10:57 AM: Keitany still slowing down, but way ahead. Men’s pack on the 59th! Commercial (and MOAR COFFEE) time.

10:59 AM: About to start hour 3 of live TV coverage. Men about to hit 1st Ave. Me, I’m on my 3rd cup of very strong coffee before Noon, and I feel like Lloyd Bridges in “Airplane!”.

11:02 AM: Let’s see if I can give y’all a full view of the men’s pack: Emmanuel Mutai, Kebede, Kisorio, Geoffrey Mutai, Sisay, Kibet Kosgei, Gebremariam, Meb, Gharib, Luis Barrios. Been steady through the bridge, basically. Men on 1st!

11:03 AM: Men just passed Dangerfield’s! (Just givin’ some respect.)

11:05 AM: Women’s chase pack down to 2 (Deba and Dado). Keitany down to 5:47 on her last mile, not good splits here, but she could hang on, still like a 90 second lead at last report.

11:08 AM: Video package about 9/11 families running the race.

11:10 AM: Sisay still hangin’ in! I like this guy.

11:14 AM: Keitany has 4 miles to go, with a minute lead. She could blow it, but her two pursuers aren’t exactly striking fear into her heart.

11:17 AM: Keitany finally visibly laboring. This is kind of a bad time to start doing that. Not to be the NBC broadcast team or anything, but Paula Radcliffe started laboring around the time she came off the 59th, in a similar spot. Chase pack can FINALLY see her again. This should be an interesting 15-20 minutes.

11:20 AM: Men’s pack: Kebede, G. Mutai, Kisorio, E. Mutai, Gharib, Gebremariam, Meb, Sisay, Luis Barrios, Kibet Kosgei. TV team just noted that Meb smiled like the cat who ate the canary, so watch for a burst of speed from him soon.

11:25 AM: Keitany’s lead down to less than 30 seconds! Deba looking strong!

11:26 AM: Keitany’s collapsing at the 24-ish mile mark! Men’s pack going nuts finally! This is getting real.

11:27 AM: Deba, Dado and Deba neck and neck now! This is batshit. Keitany surging again, responding to her pursuers! That’s tough.

11:31 AM: Men’s pack: G. Mutai, Gebremariam, Kebede, E. Mutai, Kisorio, Gharib, Meb, Sisay, Kibet Kosgei, Luis Barrios. Mile 21 there. Geoffrey Mutai breaking out. Commentators love the guy. He might finally be earning it here. Undefeated this year, that speaks something about his strength and experience here. Women’s pack down to 2, Dado in the lead, Keitany about 5 seconds back, Deba fallen behind.

11:33 AM: Dado is putting this away! Commentators shocked, because she’s an out-of-nowhere racer. Deba in second, Keitany in 3rd. That’s gotta be rough on her, but it’s amazing it took so long for it to happen.

11:34 AM: Dado about to win! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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11:35 AM: Congrats to Firehiwot Dado, NYC Marathon women’s winner, official time of 2:23:15!

11:38 AM: Deba and Keitany 2nd and 3rd, respectively.

11:39 AM: On the men’s side, Geoffrey Mutai is having some GREAT negative splits. Possibly threatening the course record.

11:45 AM: 2 Mutais in the lead right now, Geoffrey in 1st, Emmanuel in 2nd about a minute back. If Emmanuel finishes 2nd, or better, he beats Geoffrey in the World Marathon Majors. How about that?

11:46 AM: Official times for 2nd and 3rd in the women’s race, Deba had 2:23:18, Keitany had 2:23:38. Congrats, ladies!

11:49 AM: Geoffrey Mutai could actually set a course record in NYC, after setting the marathon world record in Boston back in April. No one’s ever set the course record in both races in the same year. Tesfaye Jifar’s course record is toast!

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Congrats to Geoffrey Mutai, 2011 NYC Marathon winner, and Emmanuel Mutai, 2011 World Marathon Majors winner! Emmanuel finishes second, of course. Times coming up! Both beat Jifar’s course record!

11:54 AM: Kebede beats the course record too! 3rd place for him, congrats! Gebremariam in 5th! Meb with a personal best, in 6th place! Great race all over!

11:56 AM: Gonna try to lock down all the official times for the top 10 as soon as I can. The masses should start to hit the finish line soon. 2:05:06 is the new course record, by about a minute and a half!

12:00 PM: Lunch break! Back in a few!

12:15 PM: Sorry about that. I was starving! While I was away, they had a few interviews at the podium (Deena Kastor to Mary Keitany: “What the hell were you thinking?”), and they showed McFly waiting for a runner! No, not Darenzia McFly (totally NSFanything), Marty McFly! Michael J.! I wonder if Tracy’s running, or if it’s one of his kids. Just about to get to the masses, and this year, they’ll have a crawl on the TV showing the names of each finisher in order until they sign off at 2 PM! Nice.

12:19 PM: BREAKING NEWS: Geoffrey and Emmanuel Mutai are going to form a rap group called the Mutai Clan. (Yeah, go ahead and boo, it’s an awful joke. Sorry, couldn’t help myself.)

12:22 PM: Ha, they found Paula Radcliffe at the finish line! She’s everywhere! She’s planning on running in 2012.

12:26 PM: Ed Norton at the finish line, hangin’ out. Didn’t run today, isn’t playing the Hulk in the Avengers movie…Ed, what are you doing with yourself? Ahhh, charity web site called Crowdrise.

12:27 PM: Awwww, Meb puked toward the end of the race, which is what took him out of his game. Still a great showing for a great guy.

12:29 PM: Updates from the marathon Facebook: Mark Messier past mile 15, Jennie Finch around mile 10. Serious kudos to the social media teams working this race, keeping us in it better than TV in some cases.

12:32 PM: Five Borough Challenge video package time! Great people running it this year.

12:38 PM: Michele Gonzalez of Staten Island takes the Five Borough Challenge!

David Robertson of the Yankees being interviewed. Doing some charity work for pancreatic cancer research, good guy. Totally not running this race, ever.

12:39 PM: Editor of Runner’s World being interviewed. Running with Diabetes, testing his blood as he runs. That’s tough.

12:46 PM: Christoph Niemann is drawing the marathon as he’s running it! That’s some shit right there.

12:51 PM: I AM THE GREAT CORNHOLIO!!!!!!1111 Sorry. Coffee jitters.

12:55 PM: German dude across the line, best marathon time ever. Now is the time on Sprockets in which we run!

12:56 PM: Best NYPD finisher being interviewed. Did he beat the firemen in? No word on the Mayor’s Cup winner yet.

1:00 PM: Wedding in progress during the race! Oy.

1:01 PM: Tonight on Sunday Night Football, it’s the (alleged) murderer vs. the (alleged) serial rapist!

1:02 PM: Apolo Ohno is close to the finish, Mark Messier’s on mile 19 and Jennie Finch is still on mile 11, which would indicate some struggling on her part. Hang in there, Jennie!

1:09 PM: Some folks running in Pat Carroll’s name for Alzheimer’s research. Good stuff.

Someone from “The Bachelorette” running. That’s nice, dear.

1:13 PM: Every time I see mention of this JackRabbit on the broadcast, I think of this Jack Rabbit. I blame this guy.

1:15 PM: Apolo’s finish time here.

1:27 PM: Fred’s Team video package. Louis Campbell out there running for ‘em, has a 4 year old boy named Ty in treatment for the disease. Lotta good causes out there today. Leading from there to another Grete Waitz tribute. For those wondering, seeing her book “Run Your First Marathon” in the library and taking it out is what got me to start running, so yeah, thanks, Grete. I promise you (and Deb) that I’ll get back to running very, very soon.

1:33 PM: Long, long interview with the race director, Mary Wittenberg. Terrific job organizing the races, I get it, but man, there’s folks out there running this thing. Jack Weitz, Grete’s husband (who hasn’t been able to run like this in a long time, by the TV team’s account), is just about to finish the race, just to name one of those folks. Talk to Mary at length in the wrap-up, not while people are running!

1:34 PM: And we’ve hit the “wow, let’s fellate the race broadcast sponsors with video packages” point of the broadcast. This is not the way to tell stories.

1:36 PM: Christy Turlington Burns is running for Every Mother Counts today. That’s a story worth telling.

1:38 PM: Coffee jitters finally wearing off a bit! Good deal.

1:43 PM: Jack Weitz finished the marathon! First time he’s run it in 17 years! Struggled through injuries, got through it, though. Congrats, Jack.

1:44 PM: Michele Gonzalez is the first 5 Borough Challenge winner from Staten Island! There’s hope for Staten Island yet!

1:45 PM: They found Jennie Finch! She’s in Manhattan! Keep it up, Jennie! Reporter, leave her alone!

1:47 PM: The couple that got married on the course are across the finish line! Best wishes to ‘em!

1:48 PM: There’s Mark Messier! Guttin’ it out. Keep it up!

1:52 PM: Commentators starting to wax poetic about the race, working toward the wrap-up. I’m hoping they give us some more stories from the people out there on the way out. I’ll wrap up when the damn broadcast is over.

1:56 AM: Heather Rolls is waiting for a living transplant, stage 4 liver disease. She’s finishing up her race, absolutely glowing. Hang in there, Heather!

1:57 PM: And that’s it for the TV broadcast. Stronger, more even effort than last year’s coverage, even with some of the speedbumps. Again, the Facebook and Twitter people working this race did a fantastic job, so kudos to them. I mentioned the issues I had with the iOS app (and I’d imagine the Android one’s similar), and I think that’s something that can be worked on. Enough about the broadcast media, though.

Best of luck to everyone still out there running. If you read this, stop by and say hi, I’d love to hear your stories. I will join you on that course soon enough, goddamn it. Best of luck to everyone who’s already finished the race on your recovery. I hear it’s ouchy. Take it easy, folks, and take pride in a job well done.

As for what we’ve seen so far today, some pretty incredible performances, some great stories, and some great lessons. “Keep going, but for the love of Pete, pace yourself, enjoy yourself, and damn it, don’t get in Jennie Finch’s way when she’s doing something” seem to be but a few of them. We could all learn from these lessons, I think, even the Jennie Finch one.

If you’ve been sitting home reading my coverage, either as a companion to the broadcast or as a standalone thing, thanks for doing so. This was a tough one to get up for, with a lot of mixed emotions because this year, I lost someone who I met through doing this coverage, but man, would she kick my ass if I didn’t give this my best, so hopefully I did. Thanks for everything, Deb, the friendship, the inspiration, the laughs, all of it. Wish I would’ve gotten to know you better, or at least to meet you in person, but I’m so glad I got to know you regardless. Sorry to get heavy on the rest of you, but my friend Deb’s as much a part of the story of me doing this coverage as just about anyone, and when I eventually get off my ass and run this fucking thing, she’ll be an important part of that story too. Let’s all do her the honor of living fantastic lives moving forward. This is me, signing off for another year, with one last…

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Marathon update

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., NYC Marathon. on March 21st, 2011 by Scott Crawford

Contrary to earlier reports that I was going to, I haven’t registered for the marathon yet. I also don’t really have the $200 laying around to do it, if I do in fact get selected (it’s a lottery; I missed the cut last year), because I went through a really undisciplined few months financially. Compulsive spending is a helluva drug, and it’s something I’m wrestling with mightily at the moment.

I’m not telling you guys this in the interest of getting a single red cent from you, and chances are, I’d send back any money directed to me for marathon entry, just because I haven’t earned it by training steady or behaving with responsibility or, in this case, integrity. I procrastinated on signing up for the lottery, despite my word otherwise, and now it’s basically too late to do much about it because my financial situation isn’t strong enough to pay someone $200 to let me run 26.2 miles. In the interest of full disclosure, without beating myself up too much (really, I’m not), I’m telling you all what’s up so that you don’t think I’ve just given up or that I’m not keeping my word. If lottery day came and went and you didn’t see any news about my status for the ’11 marathon after my years-long determination to get myself in there, that’d look fishy to me, as a reader, especially one who’s been let so far in on the workings of things where I’m concerned.

I feel kinda like I’ve let myself down here and let you folks down, and I’m sorry for that, but I’d be even sorrier if I lied or just skulked off with nary a word on the subject. There’s a lot of people that I want to run this thing for, starting with me, continuing on to George and Deb and even Meb, who I’ve talked with a little on Twitter recently. I actually feel physically great, if out of shape, so I’ll be getting back to running possibly as soon as this week, but I’m not so sure about New York this year, just because I kinda screwed my finances in a way that’d make it tough without help that could go to any number of far more worthy causes at the moment.

So, that’s kind of where I’m at.

10th Annual My Big, Black Cock coverage of the ING NYC Marathon

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., NYC Marathon. on November 7th, 2010 by Scott Crawford


Quick links:

Marathon web site | Watch Live In U.S. (Silverlight required, stupid paywall may be in place too)
Elite Men Bios | Elite Women Bios | Elite Wheeler Bios
My Quick n’ Dirty Pre-Game Analysis

9 AM: OK, let’s get started, people! For those of you drinking while watching, take a drink every time you hear the words “Chilean miner”.

9:05 AM: Al Roker didn’t sleep! Meridith Vieira is running with him! Are these 2 things related?

9:06 AM: Drink again, here’s Edison Pena!

9:11 AM: Elite women starting. “Hell’s Bells” playing. That’s not right. Derartu Tulu looks like she means business. Ludmilla Petrova does too. And the ladies are off!

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

Jane’s Addiction playing now. New DJ this year?

9:13 AM: the starting temperature is 40 degrees, which is ideal, but it is kinda windy today.

9:15 AM: Oh, guys, don’t make Lady Gaga references. Please, guys.

9:23 AM: 45K runners today!. That’s just nuts. Oh, and the marathon has a Twitters now. Katie McGregor’s in the lead among the elite women, about 2/3 through the Verrazano . “Chilean miner”, drink! Haile Gebrselassie, first-timer, but with an insane resume, looking relaxed and happy.

9:27 AM: Women moving onto 4th Ave., Mara Yamauchi near the head of the pack, wind already a factor. Amani Toomer being interviewed. Damn interested to see how he does. He’s shooting for mid-pack from a last position, and a sub-4 hour time.

9:34 AM: Wheeler coverage, nice little profile of Kurt Fearnley. Hopefully they don’t totally neglect the division again on the live broadcast. Mayor Bloomberg giving a shoutout to Al and Meridith.

9:40 AM: 4 minutes from the start of the full race. “Chilean miner”, drink! Profiles of the elite men, who are at the starting line! Marilson Gomes dos Santos looks slightly less nervous than usual. Haile Gebrselassie looks very happy to be here. And Meb looks kinda tired, not sure what that means for his race.

9:43 AM: Here we go, folks! Edison Pena! Drink!

Elite men and the first wave starting!

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UUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!11111111

9:46 AM: Yamauchi, Erkkesso and Daunay heading the womens’ pack at the moment.

9:54 AM: Fearnley just ahead of Schabort at the 25K mark, according to teh Twitters. Daunay looking strong for the women at about 8 miles. Tulu making her way to the front of the pack. Men at mile 2, on a slower pace because of the wind.

9:55 AM: There’s a dude from the main pack in 2nd place in the elite pack! Go anonymous dude!

9:57 AM: Bouramdane’s making a VERY early go at separating himself from the pack. He’s done this before if I’m not mistaken, but never this early. I can’t see this ending well.

10:02 AM: Five Borough Challenge started. Elite men shuffling quite a bit. Awww, anonymous dude is gone. Mens’ pack is at around 16 just past the 5K mark. “Chilean miner”, drink!

10:06 AM: David Weir and Masazumi Soejima (error earlier, sorry ’bout that) in a great finish for the wheelers, who I really wish we actually got to see before the finish line. Weir wins! Fearnley finishes 3rd! Times when I get ‘em! Congrats to all these fellers!

10:16 AM: Meb in the mens’ lead, Abitova has taken the womens’ lead. Wind or no, it looks like a beautiful day out there. Meb pushing the pack a bit right now, but nothing crazy. Ramaala starting to up his game as well. Lots of juggling in the mens’ pack before the water station.

10:19 AM: Another wave takin’ off!

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UUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!11111111

10:21 AM: Mile 11 for the women, mile 7 for the men. The women have spread! (No, not like that, you perverts.) Wider pack than I’ve seen in a while.

10:22 AM: Elite men just passed the 5 Borough Challenge folks. I’ve never seen that happen on camera, pretty cool.

10:25 AM: Womens’ pack have shuffled all over the place. Smith, Erkesso and Pushkareva over there. Mutai, Bouramdane and Gebrselassie on the mens’ side.

10:26 AM: Whoa, Jared Fogle and Roker are in with the elite men! How the hell did that happen? That had to be someone in the booth goofing on us.

10:30 AM: “Chilean miner”! Drink! The cameras lost him at the beginning of the race, still trying to find him. Good job! Women just off the Pulaski Bridge, taking their time.

10:33 AM: Tatyana McFadden wins the female wheelers’ race! Congrats to her! “Chilean miner”! Drink! They found him, everybody!

10:34 AM: Women at 14, Men at 9. At some point, probably just after the 1st Ave. turn, the womens’ pack is going to EXPLODE. Very controlled pace so far, very tense.

10:36 AM: Commentators seem to think Paula Radcliffe’s running this year, judging by how many times they’ve mentioned her.

10:40 AM: Women are on the 59th Street Bridge. Still about 15 in the pack. Man, I’m glad I don’t have to drive in Queens very often anymore.

10:43 AM: Women headed onto 1st Ave. Men still hanging with Haile. Commentators just said “the Twitter”. Please kill me.

10:46 AM: A little bit of a mess at the water stations at the end of the bridge. Here they come onto 1st Ave.! Crowd is immediately loud, unsurprisingly. Boom. No move being made yet, but it’s comin’.

10:47 AM: I still like Petrova. The experience edge is hers, she’s got an insane pain tolerance and she’s running a very smart race.

10:49 AM: 3rd wave is finally out there!

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UUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!11111111

“Chilean miner”! Drink!

10:56 AM: There was a break in the mens’ pack right before the 3rd wave started and they went to commercial, let’s see what’s up there. Nope, they reined the two man break right back in there.

Toomer’s running, finally!

“Chilean miner”, drink! Rut roh, knee issue for Pena.

Mens’ elites, Mutai, Gebrselassie and Meb are still the strongest, though they’re juggling. Kwambai’s making his presence felt. Ramaala’s still hangin’ around. Mile 14 there.

16 women still hauling ass at mile 18.

10:57 AM: I think Al Trautwig has a crush on Shalane Flanagan. (As do the producers of the telecast. 3 minute video piece on her in the middle of the race? Jeez.)

10:59 AM: Christina Ripp and Amanda McGrory took 2nd and 3rd in the wheeler race, congrats to them!

11:05 AM: Gebrselassie is out! The knee that’s bothered him recently just plain went. Men on 1st Ave. now, all the runners are pushing each other finally. Mutai pushing everyone again. Meb went to about 50 meters back, I think that’s a strategic move, though.

11:08 AM: Tulu’s fallen off the pack, more than likely ending her chances. Kim Smith of New Zealand leading, Petrova in 2nd!

11:10 AM: Mens’ pack starting to resemble the usual players, with Goumri and Gomes Dos Santos in the top 5 now.

11:11 AM: I love the Nissan Leaf commercial with the dude hugging the bear.

11:15 AM: “Chilean miner’, drink! Women at mile 21, 12 in the pack. Men at mile 18, Bouramdane in the lead for the men, Smith still there for the women. Petrova still in 2nd!

11:18 AM: Kwambai throwin’ down! Awkward stride, but he’s haulin’. Mutai stepping up, Bouramdane, Gebrmariam still hangin’.

11:20 AM: Mile 23 for the women, Flanagan is leading now! Ad execs everywhere begin drooling!

11:21 AM: Flanagan, Keitany, Kiplagat…Petrova fallen off to 8th, that’s gonna be tough to make up.

11:23 AM: Mutai, Kwambai, Bouramdane, Gebrmariam, and Gomes dos Santos in it for the men. Mile 20 there.

11:25 AM: Mutai and Gebrmariam have pulled ahead!

11:30 AM: Yeah, Trautwig’s in love.

11:32 AM: Edna Kiplagat has pushed ahead to the lead, Flanagan fading a bit, but pushing back! Kitane fading a bit. Kiplagat FLYING now.

11:33 AM: I think Kiplagat’s got this in the bag handlily. Kwambai’s back, on the mens’ side!

11:38 AM: Kiplagat is so far ahead of the competitors that it’s disgusting now. I can’t remember the last New York where you couldn’t see 2nd and 3rd place. Flanagan is in 2nd now, but she’s got no chance.

11:39 AM: Hey, ladies!

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UUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!11111111

11:40 AM: Edna Kiplagat wins! Shalane Flanagan second! Mary Kitane 3rd! Congrats to the ladies! Times coming up!

11:42 AM: Time to drink, “Chilean miner”! He’s at mile 12, folks!

11:45 AM: Kwambai dropped off, men just past the 2 hour mark, still Mutai and Gebrmariam neck-and-neck. Gebrmariam laboring a little more, but that’s not always an indication of what’s gonna happen at mile 24 or 25. Gebrmariam moving! Smiling, even!

11:47 AM: Gebrmariam putting this one away, another race totally dominated on the back 2 miles.

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11:57 AM: Here he comes! Gebre Gebrmariam wins the ING NYC Marathon, very happily I might add! 2:08:14-ish! Hugging everyone! Emmanuel Mutai is 2nd, about a minute back. Moses Kigen Kipkosgei in at 3rd! Congrats to them! When we come back…the other people!

12:03 PM: “Chilean miner” (drink) update via teh Twitters: he’s at the halfway mark! Roker’s past his first 10K. Deena Kastor interviewing Edna Kiplagat right now. Kiplagat’s a beautiful lady, wow.

12:04 PM: “Chilean miner”, drink!

12:07 PM: “Chilean miner”, drink again! He’s favoring his knee, slowing up a bit, but hangin’ in there.

12:13 PM: Awards time! Actually been a few years since we’ve seen a podium mostly filled with Kenyans.

12:20 PM: Gebre Gebrmariam looks so fresh for a guy who just ran his ass off. Can’t stop smiling. Awesome.

12:23 PM: “Chilean miner”, drink! Edison Pena’s on the 59th Street Bridge! Awards ceremony and a sandwich when we return!

12:31 PM: Crap, out of bread, but it’s time to drink again, as Edison Pena’s on my TV! He wants to smack people as much for the attention he’s getting as I do right now, as he’s laboring and people keep taking pictures of him n’ shit. Let the man run his race!

12:34 PM: Hey, NBC. This isn’t Smackdown. Fewer video packages, more real people!

12:39 PM: And NBC answers with…a Five Borough Challenge video package.

12:56 PM: These guys are killing me with the wastes of television time. Drink if you saw the miner walking. First cop vs. fireman challenge guy has shown up. Oy. “Survivor” contestants. Their stories are on the celeb page I linked to on Friday, and they’re both running for charity, but do they really need more TV time? And now they’re killing TV time with what’s essentially a Nissan Leaf ad during the race broadcast, rather than on the break. I know they have to make money, but jeez.

12:58 PM: To the douchebags who hit the Athlete Tracker with a DoS attack: your parents must be very proud.

12:59 PM: C’mon, marathon coverage. Give me something to cheer about.

1 PM: Chilean miner update, drink. He’s in the medical tent icing down his feet. Also: whoa, Haile Gebrselassie retired!

1:05 PM: Ahhh, finally some regular folks! A couple (or at least 2 people who look like they’d be a good one) who met on the Willis Ave. Bridge. Here’s a physical therapist who’s running for people who can’t, good for him. And another video package for the “Run For Something Better”. Couldn’t they cover this stuff on the pre-game show?

1:09 PM: Apologies to you guys for being a grumpy old man about this stuff, but I really do feel like the viewers and the participants are being cheated here. I’d like to see my single favorite sporting event (even more than the World Series, because this happens on one day) given the great coverage that it truly deserves. To me, that means live coverage of as many people and as many stories as possible. Since I was a kid and I’d happen upon the coverage, that’s what made me keep watching, and I think the NBC Universal people are getting away from that, focusing on the money in the race instead. I’m not naive, I know that plenty of it has to happen, but there’s a balance that I think is being lost.

1:12 PM: “Chilean miner” alert, he’s in BAD shape. Still walking, with ice bags on his knees, but struggling. Keep on, man. For the rest of you, keep drinkin’.

1:14 PM: And yet another video package, this time they’re talking about the International Friendship Run.

1:22 PM: Oh jeez! Some dude ran the marathon wearing Gene Simmons makeup! Don’t tell Gene, he’ll have his lawyers demanding royalties.

1:28 PM: Nice father-son team on right now, the dad has an epic beard!

1:34 PM: David Meek from the Bronx wins the Five Borough Challenge nice time of 3:26:28. Congrats to him!

1:44 PM: Amani Toomer update: he’s on the Willis Ave. Bridge, and has passed many people. Can’t wait to hear the final tally.

1:48 PM: Wheelers! Love these guys.

1:52 PM: Firemen win the Mayor’s Cup this year.

1:55 PM: Anthony Edwards! Gilbert’s lookin’ older, man. Building a children’s hospital in Kenya, though, that’s kinda awesome. Hey, they found Jared finally! He’s full of energy, that guy.

1:56 PM: “Chilean miner”, drink! Edison’s in the Bronx mile, a few more to go, man. He’ll make it.

2 PM: OK, NBC’s signing off, so I’m gonna wrap up, folks. What did I see this year? A lot of video recaps, that’s for sure, but I won’t dwell on that any further. I saw a lot of people busting their asses, like I do every year. I saw a world champion humbled by the race, and a man who survived for almost 3 months underground hobbled, but along with them, I saw the usual metric fuckton of triumphs. The elite races were more like half marathons in the mens’ and womens’ divisions, as everyone ran very deliberate races this time out. New champions were crowned in every major race. And, above and beyond all the pro stuff, thousands of people are out there right now running a race that I can personally say is absolute murder to train for, and almost all of them will finish that race. I didn’t get in this year, but I’m registering tomorrow afternoon for next year, and come hell or high water, I will be one of those thousands of long-suffering bastards trying to conquer that city one of these years. Every year, I’m inspired by them. Every time I see someone running on the side of a road, I’m inspired. I’ve been writing these reports for 10 years now, and I hope that I did this one some justice, and that you had fun and found some inspiration in it while you were reading it. If any of you who read my stuff ran today, pop in and tell us all about your experience! Signing off for now, with one final….

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ING NYC Marathon 2010: Good News, Bad News

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., NYC Marathon. on November 6th, 2010 by Scott Crawford

The bad news is, as I mentioned back in April, I didn’t get in. (I’ll be entering the lottery for 2011 on Monday.) The good news is that I’ll be here providing up-to-the-minute coverage for the 10th straight year! I should be “on the air” sometime after 7 AM tomorrow morning to pre-game a bit more, though the official TV race coverage starts at 9 AM.

To get you started, check out the pro mens’ bios (a very strong field), womens’ bios(very different field than we’re used to seeing, with a lot of women making their debut at the distance) and pro wheelers’ bios (maybe the best field ever for the division…NBC, please actually cover it!) over at the official marathon site.

Lots of folks are, of course, focusing on the participation of Edison Pena, the rescued Chilean miner, and we’ve probably all seen those commercials with Jared Fogle, the Subway guy, training for the race. I turned up a list of some of the other celebrity participants here for those who are into that sort of thing. Anthony Edwards is BACK, ladies and gentlemen! Also, place your bets on whether Robin Quivers will beat Al Roker’s time, or whether ex-football Giant Amani Toomer will pass any or all of the people I just mentioned!

On a personal level, I’m excited to see that the NY Road Runners club will be honoring one of my favorites, 2005 winner Paul Tergat, with the 2010 Abebe Bikila Award (given to a select few people who make what is described as “an outstanding contribution to the sport of distance running”) this weekend. Paul retired from competitive racing last year, alas, but it’s nice to see him get this kind of acknowledgment from the club.

Finally today, if you or someone you know is running tomorrow, and you’d like me to keep tabs on them or mention them during the race, leave a message in the comments or email me. Given the name and occasional nature of this site, I am more than happy to just mention first names, but either way, let me know, and if you’re running for a cause, feel free to tell me a little about it so I can share with the group.

That’s all for now. I’ll see you all tomorrow. If you’re running, have a great race, and don’t forget to RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!1111

Next Year.

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., NYC Marathon., Training. on April 7th, 2010 by Scott Crawford



Didn’t tell most of you until now because I didn’t want the whole world (or at least not my whole world) hanging on the announcement, but I registered this year. It’s heavy stuff and it sucks getting stiffed in the lottery, no doubt, but it’s part of the drill, and I’ll be another year stronger before I run New York. By then, I should hopefully have the technical details of how to run a marathon and do a live marathon report at the same time figured out, too.

Stay tuned, lots more to do here. =)

Runner Updates

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., NYC Marathon. on November 1st, 2009 by Scott Crawford

As I signed off from our Marathon coverage earlier today, we had a few runners out in the field that we didn’t have times for. Here’s what we’ve got now:

Kelly snuck in under 5 hours at 4:56:09. Jill, who may have run into trouble around the 15th mile, as she doesn’t have a 25K time, just a 15 mile and then the finish (I’ll see what I hear; could just be a chip malfunction or something) finished at 5:31:16. Hopefully she got through OK. I talked to Jill Sunday night, and she had “her worst marathon time but the most fun she’s had doing a marathon”, and says she was especially strong on the 59th Street Bridge. She doesn’t know what was up with Athlete Tracker either.

Brian Boyle had a nice strong 4:11:15, which means he finished right after NBC left the air. Keith Zeier did 6:20:52, but that was with 50 pounds of gear on his back! There are no listed times for John Tartaglio, but that might be a policy thing or somesuch, and I’m sure he did OK out there. Godspeed to him. We’ve got a time of 15 hours and 59 minutes from John Tartaglio, which makes him, in his own words (thanks for commenting, John) “the 1st bilateral hip disarticulate in history to run and complete a marathon”! Awesome.

There were 2 Edward Nortons listed on the Athlete Tracker. 1 didn’t have any times, and the other finished at a nice 3:48:01, so let’s hope Dr. Banner did the latter, which is likely because they did mention him at the finish line before the broadcast ended.

You all did great work out there. Be proud of it!

9th Annual My Big, Black Cock coverage of the ING NYC Marathon

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., NYC Marathon. on November 1st, 2009 by Scott Crawford


Quick links:

Marathon web site | Watch Live In U.S.
(3 feeds! Main Feed, Elite Mens’ Pack, Elite Womens’ Pack)
Elite Men Bios | Elite Women Bios | Elite Wheeler Bios
My Quick n’ Dirty Pre-Game Analysis

8:55 AM: It’s that time again, folks. “Meet The Press” is wrapping up, and the quick-and-dirty links are posted above. The race coverage will be starting in about 5 minutes (alas, I slept through the pre-race coverage at Ft. Wadsworth, where them G.I. Joe fellers used to live, but I’ve got a long sports day ahead of me, so I needed it), so if you’re familiar, pull up a chair, grab your favorite refreshments, and get ready for some great stories of the triumph of the human spirit, mixed with my random, idiotic comments. RUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!11111

9:06 AM: We’re on the air, folks, though the wheelers and handcycle racers have been on the course for a while now. Elite women start in 4 minutes, the temperature on the course is 52 degrees, and and hey, Anthony Edwards is running! “This is gonna be a great year. HUH! HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH-HUH!”

9:12 AM: Elite women being announced now, to the tune of the “Requiem For A Dream” music…something ain’t right about that. Selina Kosgei, this year’s Boston winner, looks like she’s in great spirits. Time for the gun. And RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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9:15 AM: Can these commentators stop treating Radcliffe like she’s the Yankees? Totally selling the other competitors short by making this The Paula Show. Getting my first look at Ludmila Petrova. She actually looks like she’s put on a little weight since last year, when she took 2nd. I wonder how it’ll affect her.

9:23 AM: Pat LaFontaine’s running the marathon…on ICE SKATES! OK, not really. Dan Jansen running as well, also on skates. Ladies are just about off the bridge.

9:32 AM: The women are in Brooklyn now. The elite pack has actually split in half already, which is kinda interesting, and I wonder if it’ll stick. Finally, they mention the wheelers at the half-hour mark, just about. Nice video package for Kurt Fearnley and Amanda McGrory, though.

9:35 AM: Ooh, a fall, Kosgei and Yuri Kano got tangled up. They got themselves back in the race, but it sucks to see that happen, especially this early. About 3 minutes away from the elite men and the masses being let loose.

9:43 AM: The masses are queueing up, and we’ve got the elite mens’ intros. “Hell’s Bells” for the men. What the shit? Meb looks limber and determined. Ryan Hall looks nervous. Gomes dos Santos looks a little skinny. Talking to Abdi Abdirahman instead of the reigning champion. What, no translator on staff, guys? Here comes the gun…and…

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9:55 AM: 5 Borough Challenge time, all working moms! I wonder if any of ‘em are single. Back to the women, Yuri Kano’s 30 seconds back, what a shame. Kosgei’s still in it, though. Petrova looks strong, and Paula looks like…Paula. Men coming off the bridge, Ramaala’s up there, with Gomes dos Santos and Bouramdane, the Moroccan, are leading. Pack tightened up a little bit as they went onto 4th Ave., and Makau’s jumped out in front. Could be a lot of lead changes.

10 AM: The one bad thing about the timing of this race: it’s often the last Sunday before Election Day in the US, so we get bombarded by shitty political commercials. Whoa, Fearnley and Schabort are down to the wire at the finish, HUGE finish, Fearnley by a FOOT. If only they’d given this part of the race more than 3 minutes, we’d have seen something epic.

10:03 AM: Bouramdane with a lead of about 5 seconds, as the 2nd wave leaves from the bridge!

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10:09 AM: Women at the 10 mile mark. Petrova laboring a bit, but still exactly where she’s been. Men on mile 4, Bouramdane still exactly where he is.

10:16 AM: The men (17 in the lead pack) closed the distance on Bouramdane at mile 5. Makau’s back in front. Commentators getting all nationalist on us. Pace quickening, 4:52 on mile 5, onto mile 6 now (duh). The word on the street is that Brooklyn slept in because of Halloween, fewer people on the sidelines this year. Women are doing about what they were, at mile 11.

10:23 AM: Womens’ pack down to 5 now at mile 12, Magdalena Lewy Boulet is about 8 seconds behind now. Some talk about Kosgei’s knee, possibly bleeding from the fall. Mens’ pack has fallen behind Bouramdane again, but I think they’re giving him enough rope, so to speak. Mile 7 there. Commentators again getting all nationalist on us, “I want to see the blonde haired, blue eyed white guy win!”, ugh.

10:30 AM: Women at the halfway mark, 70 or 80 meters behind their 2008 pace. I miss Gete Wami and Jelena Prokopcuka (Jelena’s preggers! Congrats to her!).

10:35 AM: Oh, burn. Al Trautwig just dissed Queens. Women in mile 15 now. Radcliffe, Petrova, France’s Christelle Daunay, Kosgei and Derartu Tulu from Ethiopia still in that pack. The ladies are heading onto the 59th Street Bridge, so shit may bust wide open soon.

10:40 AM: Kosgei’s starting to fade a little, and Daunay has finally pushed ahead of Radcliffe for a second. Men on mile 11 in a tighter pack, still a pretty full pack (13 runners), too. Meb’s leading right now. Makau is out of it. Not sure who else fell off yet, looking into it. Bouramdane is sprinting again, that sick bastard.

10:42 AM: Women on 1st Avenue!

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Daunay, Tulu, Petrova, Radcliffe and Kosgei has caught back up.

10:46 AM: Radcliffe and Petrova reining in Daunay and Tulu. Mile 16 for them, mile 12 for the men, where Bouramdane is being a big pain in the ass! Anthony Edwards is doin’ alright. Go, Gilbert!

10:56 AM: Women are a mile and a half from the Bronx, same 5 as we’ve had for a good stretch. Men turning onto the 59th Street Bridge. They must’ve made time while I was making coffee. =)

11:03 AM: Gomes dos Santos is off the pack a little bit. Commentators still laying on this USA stuff. Bouramdane STILL a pain in the ass. The guys about to turn onto 1st Ave.

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11:11 AM: Ramaala doing his usual burst on 1st, lead group of 10 right now. Abdirahman is the rabbit at the moment. 17 miles done for them. Women are a pack of 4, approaching the Madison Ave. Bridge, Radcliffe, Petrova, Daunay and Tulu heading back into Manhattan.

11:12 AM: Where the hell is the womens’ wheeler coverage? Inexcusable.

11:16 AM: Pack of 6 for the men now. Kwambai, Bouramdane, Cheruiyot, Ramaala, Meb, and now Kipkoech is falling off the pack. Women still a pack of 4, commentators don’t think Radcliffe’s in great shape, though to me, she looks like her usual self, so I’m wondering what they’re seeing. Insights, anyone?

11:20 AM: I don’t think I’ve seen Petrova differ in her pace much at all, she had that little bit of a rough patch an hour ago, but otherwise, she has been a machine. Mile 22 for the women, still 4 of them out in front.

11:22 AM: Men on mile 19, Willis Ave. Bridge, Cheruiyot and Kwambai are leading. Meb and Bouramdane in there still, Kipkoech and Gharib just back of those guys. Radcliffe falling back a bit, Petrova looking DETERMINED now.

11:24 AM: Just an aside, as we hit the home stretch for the pros: I love this race.

11:27 AM: Men on mile 20, no change in the top 4 guys, women are settling into a pack of 3 with Radcliffe really lagging now as they get to Central Park. I really like Petrova’s chances here, but Daunay and Tulu are close still and none of them look tired at mile 24. Oh, this is gonna be a good finish.

11:33 AM: “We’re back at the ING New York Marathon, and you are looking at Paula Radcliffe’s ass.” Sorry, that’s just the camera angle they gave us. Daunay is falling behind, so it’s Petrova and Tulu now. Radcliffe settling into 4th place, she’d need a miracle to come back. Meb’s leading at mile 22! Kwambai’s in 2nd, Bouramdane is finally falling off the pace, and Cheruiyot is behind him now, but he might have something up his sleeve. Ha, there he goes! it’s Meb and Cheruiyot! Radcliffe working on catching Daunay now for 3rd.

11:36 AM: Women in the last mile! Petrova and Tulu still there, maybe a yard between them. Man, I would not wanna be in Petrova’s way right now. She looks like she’s going to kick the shit out of anyone in her path.

11:3 AM: Tulu pushing Petrova now! Neck and neck! They’re turning into the park! Tulu just stretched it out! This is OVER if Petrova doesnt pull a miracle out of her ass. Here comes the finish! 200 yards to go!

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Tulu all the way now, looking totally in control! 2:28:52! Petrova 2:28:59! Petrova 2:29:15, and Radcliffe about 2:29:30! Congrats to all! Radcliffe damn near collapsed at the finish, something’s definitely wrong there.

Back to the men at mile 24, and it’s Meb in the lead! Cheruiyot 6 seconds behind, and Meb looks great. Cheruiyot putting a little mustard on it, but still not there. This would be one HELL of a comeback for Meb, who’s been through hell since we saw him in New York last. 8 seconds now! Cheruiyot looks like he’s struggling, but we’ve got a downhill coming up! Meb’s got almost 10 seconds now. This is an incredible turnaround for Meb, whose last NYC finish was 20th in 2006. 25 miles now! Crowd (predictably) going nuts because we’ve got a US citizen in position to maybe win this one. Cheruiyot is actually picking up his pace a little bit, but I think it’s too little, too late! Meb on Central Park South! Let’s see if Cheruiyot has anything left in the tank! Meb actually speeding up! Turning into the park! A half mile to go! Cheruiyot is toast! This is an incredibly convincing win about to happen here, folks!

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Meb Keflezighi! 2:09:14! And he does a pushup at the finish line! Cheruiyot finishes at 2:09:56! Great races by both, but for Meb, an incredible comeback! Gharib at 2:10:25! Ryan Hall finishes in 4th at 2:10:44. Congrats to all!

12:03 PM: And now, the rest of us. We’ve still got the 5 Borough Challenge, and maybe some word on the womens’ wheelers, the cops vs. firemen, and all the stories of the regular folks and celebrities who’ve taken this on. Just checked the marathon site, and Edith Hunkeler won the womens’ wheeler race, not that we’ve heard anything about it on NBC. Bad form, guys, but congrats to Edith, who won her 5th NYC Marathon today!

12:13 PM: A few friends and friends of friends in the race: my friend Jill is in there, and so is my sister’s co-worker Kelly. Kelly’s in the lead there, according to the marathon site, hitting the 10k mark at just over 1:07, with Jill at 1:09. Keep running, ladies, and good luck to you!

Deena Kastor is talking to Anthony Edwards, who looks like he’s hangin’ in there pretty good, too. Joan Benoit Samuelson is putting together a pretty good time at 52, has a shot at the 50+ womens’ record time.

12:23 PM: Awards ceremony time! The ladies look awesome. The masses are just about to start hitting the finish line, as the commentators talk to Meb. Classy guy, very respectful of his opponent down the stretch, and he mentioned the late Ryan Shay, who passed away during the Olympic Trials 2 years ago. Again, congrats to him.

12:33 PM: Joan Benoit Samuelson finishes at 2:49:09 (corrected time, network had it wrong at first), new 50+ record! John Tartaglio interviewed, double amputee running the race. Amazing stuff. I need to stop bitching about my legs and get out there next year.

12:46 PM: An update on the folks we’re tracking on the course: according to the Athlete Tracker (which is getting hammered as usual), Kelly’s 2 minutes and 30 seconds ahead of Jill at the 15K mark, and Anthony Edwards is at the 25K mark at 2:16:31. If you know someone in the race who you’d like us to give you an update on, suck@mybigblackcock.com and we’ll look into it for you! (Please specify whether you want last name, bib number, etc. posted here or not, as some folks get squeamish about this site).

12:50 PM: Jeff Schulman lost 230 pounds in 3 1/2 years, and he’s out on the course! Good for him!

1 PM: Athlete Tracker getting killed, but we’re gonna try and get numbers on everyone we’ve mentioned since the pro races finished. Ahhh, there we go. Jeff Schulman was at 2:15:43 at 25K, just ahead of Anthony Edwards! John Tartaglio’s not registering any times just yet, but he’s out there and in all likelihood, he’ll finish. That’s the important part.

1:03 PM: Interviews with the wheeler champions, finally. Seriously, NBC, plenty of us who watch the marathon care about that part of the race. Don’t skimp on it! On a somewhat related note, I’m LOVING Kurt Fearnley’s mustache.

1:15 PM: Kelly’s got 3 minutes on Jill at the halfway mark! Keep it up, ladies, it gets shorter from here! Keith Zeier’s running for the Special Operations Warrior Foundation with 50 pounds of gear in his backpack, raising money for the families of fallen soldiers, even after a pretty serious set of injuries from an explosion! Keith’s at 3:27:55 at the 25K mark. Kelly’s at 2:43:40 at mile 14.

1:20 PM: Special mention goes to the girl (damn it, I missed her name) who ran the race dressed at Winnie The Pooh. Very stylish!

1:35 PM: Jill hit mile 14 at 2:48:42, keep it up! Emigdin Flores, one of the youngest people on the course, is the first graduate from NYRR’s youth program to run the race. He started the program obese, and was kicking ass when I saw him! He finished at 3:20:42! Kelly hit 25K at 3:01:01, and Jill’s at mile 15 at 3:02:12!

1:45 PM: Ha, a dude in a viking outfit. Funny stuff. Brian Boyle’s another guy who’s come back from a major injury, surgeries, a coma, and so forth! Looks great out there, he’s at 2:16:07 through 25K. We also saw Diane Petruzzelli, who I believe is a fellow JSRC member, finish sub-3:00, lookin’ great! 2:53:03 for her! Jeff Schulman’s across the line, with a sub-4 time of 3:54:31! Awesome work! 5 Borough Challenge is wrapping up, and our winner is Allyson Hentel-Koplan from Manhattan!’

1:50 PM: Wow, it’s the High Five Guy! He’s high-fived over 20,000 people during the race! Man, his hand must hurt.

1:58 PM: Just about to wrap it up here. Mayor’s Cup is won by the fire department this year. Still a lot of running to do out there, plenty of folks to clear the line as we cross the 4 hour mark, but they’ll get there. On the pro side, it was a very competitive race, really enjoyable to watch as pure sport. On the coverage end of things, I’d really like to see NBC do a better job covering the wheelers next year, and hopefully this sentiment is shared by other folks who won’t get pooh-poohed because they have a dirty domain name.

One last check of the Athlete Tracker has Anthony Edwards finishing at 4:08:20 and there he is on camera, just as I was checking in! Ed Norton’s out there somewhere too. Hopefully, he doesn’t turn into the Hulk on anyone. We’ll update with finishing times later today or tomorrow on the rest of the people we’re following! Still waiting on Jill, Kelly, John, Brian and Keith. Keep up the good work, folks!

All the best to you folks who are still out there, and hopefully, I’ll be out there with you next year, on what would be the 10th year I’ve followed the race otherwise.

One more, for the people at home:

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NYC Marathon Pre-Game

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., NYC Marathon. on October 30th, 2009 by Scott Crawford

We’re about 36 hours away from, jeez, what is it, my 9th year of sitting on my ass and watching this? (Damn leg.) Anyway, here’s a little info about the race that you could probably get elsewhere, but won’t because you’re all very lazy people:

On the mens’ side of things, it’s a very different year. Some familiar faces are out, you’ve got a lot of US presence (even if it’s naturalized US presence; hell, we’re all immigrants here) in the elite men, and you’ve got some faces you haven’t seen in New York for quite some time making returns. Meb is back, and the fella I’d consider the favorite going in, Robert Kipkoech Cheruiyot returns after what I’m pretty sure is a 4 year hiatus, which he’s spent beating the living piss out of the Boston course. However, Marilson Gomes dos Santos will be back to defend his title, and he was a much more confident runner last year, so it won’t be a cakewalk for Cheruiyot or anyone else.

Over on the womens’ side, it’s also a very unfamiliar field to me, aside from defending champion and superwoman Paula Radcliffe and, holy mother of pearl, Ludmila Petrova is back at 41, after taking 2nd last year! That should be a pretty solid rematch.

I’ll tell you where the real action is this year, though, folks: the wheeler divisions! I kid you not, both the mens’ and womens’ wheeler divisions, which will hopefully get a fair amount of airtime, are absolutely STACKED. It’s like the Wheeler Hall Of Fame up in this. I’m not sure whether the web feed will have cameras on multiple race leads, but I’m hoping, because this is going to be stellar.

The weather for Sunday looks to be maybe 5 degrees warmer than I think the participants would like (I could be wrong on this) with a high of 58, but not super warm, and the course is going to be a little wet and perhaps slippery from the overnight rain.

I’ll be here starting fairly early (television race coverage starts at 9 AM Eastern Standard Time) to yell “RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN” for 5 hours or so, so stop by if you’re into that sort of thing.

8th Annual My Big, Black Cock coverage of the ING NYC Marathon

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., NYC Marathon. on November 2nd, 2008 by Scott Crawford


Quick links:

Marathon web site | Watch Live In U.S. (3 feeds! Main Feed, Elite Mens’ Pack, Elite Womens’ Pack)
Watch Live Internationally (Definitely free!) | Elite Men Bios | Elite Women Bios
Elite Wheeler Bios | My Quick n’ Dirty Pre-Game Analysis

Well, hi hi hi there, sports fans! It’s time for one of my favorite days of the year, Marathon Day! Ideally, I’m gonna need someone to handle the coverage for this next year (and/or be equipped to do live updates as I’m in the race) but for at least this year, I’m in the commentator’s seat as usual, bringing you the New York City Marathon coverage that hopefully you enjoy reading as much as I enjoy writing it.

The forecast in New York is absolutely perfect for long-distance running, a partly sunny day with a high of 54 degrees Fahrenheit (or 12 degrees Celsius, to you folks who don’t live in a country where people believe Jesus rode dinosaurs), so we could see some terrific performances today. Admittedly, there may be some weirdness because we’re used to the time change from Daylight to Standard time happening the week before the race, but hopefully runners will just get an extra hour’s rest out of that and not be thrown off by it.

A few late notes about the competitors, mostly gleaned from the NBC marathon page linked above: this is Paul Tergat’s first marathon back, as he took a year and a half off from the distance after London 2007, so it should be interesting to see how the layoff affected him; most of what I’m reading seems to think that it could be Abderrahim Goumri’s day (Runner’s World seem to be sticking with his story in a lot of the pre-race hype, as is NBC); there are a lot of American runners at on the outskirts of the elite packs of both men and women, some young, new names and faces, and it’ll be interesting to see how they fare; and, for those of you who follow which celebrities do the race, no Lance Armstrong this year (he’s training for the Tour de France again, and I guess 2 New Yorks and a Boston were enough for him for now), and I don’t think we’ll see Katie Holmes try it with her Broadway run ongoing, but Beth Ostrosky (apparently a supermodel, though I don’t really live in that world, kinda cute in that Christie Brinkley sorta way, and running for North Shore Animal League, which is a great cause…oh, hey, and she’s Howard Stern’s wife, too, as of a month ago! I knew the name sounded a little familiar, but couldn’t place why…) and U.S. Womens’ Soccer champ Brandy Chastain are both running their first marathon tomorrow. There’s probably more celebs in the pack, and they’ll be ferreted out over the course of the race.

NBC’s extended coverage, going over some of the stories of the runners, has just begun, so pull up a comfortable chair and settle in. The RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN is on its way, folks!

8:18 AM: NBC broke for “Meet The Press”, and after about 5 minutes of listening to Fred Thompson out-and-out lie to the audience, I broke, too. TV goes back on at 9!

9:10 AM: OK, we’re underway! Elite women start in 10 minutes, elite men at 9:40 or so. Gorgeous running day in the city. Kerri Strug running with Brandi Chastain today, her 4th time running New York. Experts like Radcliffe just a bit more than Wami for the win. Time for the Elite Women!

9:15 AM: At the starting line now…Wami looks like she’s on a mission today. OK, folks…time for the first shout of the day…RUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!! Radcliffe’s at the head of the pack, with American Kara Goucher right behind her on the uphill stretch of the Narrows, and we’re at our first break.

9:20 AM: back from break, and installing the Windows Media plug-in so I can give the live net feeds (yes, they’re free!) a shot, ugh. Man, NBC LOVES Radcliffe.

9:25 AM: Some explanation of the World Marathon Majors series going on right now. Gete Wami and Ndreba are both in play for the grand prize on that. Got that friggin’ Windows Media plug-in installed now, for those wondering, the feed is about 2 minutes behind television right now, but it does work, if your plugins are playing nice. And another break. Sneaking them all in while they’ve only got 30 women running on a bridge.

9:30 AM: Back from break, and the ladies are in Brooklyn, starting to stretch out the pack a bit. Kara Goucher’s still in 2nd, and it’s gonna be really interesting to see how long she stays there. Also: wait, there are wheelers on the course already? They didn’t show the wheeler start? Bad form, NBC! Where the bejeezus is Kurt Fearnley? The Masses are lining up, and hey, now we’re talking about the wheelers. I’m wondering whether they started and are working from tape or not on this. Yep, they went from tape, at 8:35 (damn Meet The Press). Fearnley’s in the mens’ lead, I think they’re pretty deep in, 56 minutes in fact.

9:33 AM: Mike Bloomberg at the starting line, talking about toilets! This is why I tune in!

9:35 AM: …and we’re back! The elite pack is down to 10. Radcliffe is in the lead, with Goucher and Wami right there behind her. Trying to get a bead on the rest of the elite pack, let me check the ‘net feeds after they run through the elite men’s pack. They like Goumri.

9:40 AM: OK, folks, time for the Elite Mens’ pack. Tergat looks really happy to be here. Gomes dos Santos still looks scared of him. Goumri looks confident. None of the pack really stands out as looking great at the gate, though. Abdirahman getting a lot of attention from the announce team, too. National Anthem being sung by an “America’s Got Talent” winner. Big dude! Nice tenor, though! It’s almost time, folks…oh, before I forget, since NBC cockblocked me earlier on the wheelers…WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!!!!!!!!11111

And, now, it’s time for what you all wait for me to say…
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!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9:48 AM: Women are in mile 6. Lemme flip over to that feed and get you that data….hot damn, while I’ve been waiting for it to load, Kara Goucher pulled into the lead, but missed her bottle (which apparently has a skull and crossbones on it) at the water table! Wami in 2nd now, Radcliffe in 3rd.

9:55 AM: Wow, what a bad U2 cover.

10 AM: Can we stop with the video packages and actually show some running, NBC? It’s like they’ve replaced the New York team with the Boston one. Mens’ pack is headed by an American, get that name for you in a sec. Hey, Kurt Fearnley again! He looks tired, but he’s like 3 miles ahead of the rest of the universe, as expected.

10:05 AM: Problem with the ‘net feeds: none of them have a graphic on them denoting who’s in what place. 5 Borough Challenge finally gets mentioned, and it’s apparently all women this year, working moms!

Having REAL problems with the lack of good leaderboard graphics in the coverage this year, the TV feed sucks for it, too.

10:10 AM: The Elite Womens’ pack are at about a 2:27 pace, still Paula and Kara in the lead. Miles are getting quicker, 5:25 pace over the last mile. Ramaala’s taken the mens’ lead and he’s stretching the pack a bit at mile 6! No sign of Goumri or Tergat in the camera view. Wheelers finish after yet another commercial break.

10:16 AM: Abdirahman has swapped spots with Ramaala now. He is MOTORING. Here’s Kurt Fearnley in Central Park! WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!!!!! 1 mile to go for him. Where the hell are the womens’ wheelers? Sloppy. Women at mile 12 about to get out of punkass Williamsburg and go to Queens. Men at mile 6, Abdirahman thinks he’s Usain Bolt right now, and it could end up screwing him later.

10:20 AM: Kurt Fearnley just coasting now. He should pop a wheelie across the finish line. He’s got this thing so pwn3d. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!!!!! 1:44:51 finish! Rough numbers for him, but he just dominated. Nearest competitor is 2 minutes (originally I typed “years”) back. Congrats to the baddest man on the planet!

10:23 AM: Mens’ pack is about 16 at mile 8, lots of movement in it. Women are at the halfway mark, and Kara Goucher’s in the lead now, strying to stretch Radcliffe and the rest. Commentators have finally mentioned Goumri, who’s doing a conservative early race. Also: live sound for this race is a mess, too. they’ve got the mics, and 2 races in split screen with the bands leaking in. It’s rough. Who’s directing this thing?

10:29 AM: Women are on the Pulaski Bridge, Radcliffe in the lead, Wami, Goucher, Petrova’s actually in there, Tune, and Jeptoo. Ndereba is in 7th, but they’re putting her behind them. Mile 14 now. Men at Mile 9.

10:31 AM: Men are switching positions A LOT. Is that Gomes dos Santos in the lead? Rad! Tergat’s in the pack.

10:33 AM: Kirui, Rono, Tergat Abdirahman, Ramaala, Gomes dos Santos, Goumri in the mens’ pack. Edith Hunkeler finally makes it onto TV, 93 minutes into the race. How nice. She’s also blown out the wheeler race, in Central Park now. Hopefully they’ll actually finish commercials before she crosses the finish line. Not in love with the direction this year at all.

10:37 AM: The women are on the 59th St. Bridge now. That was fast. Radcliffe, Goucher, Petrova, Wami, Tune, and Jeptoo in the 2nd pack now. Dead silent on the bridge. Gonna be loud on 1st Ave.

10:43 AM: Men 5 miles behind the women at mile 11, still a chaotic pack, pretty big. Women about to hit the wall of sound, on the downhill. Man, that bridge is a piece of crap. Hunkeler on the camera, just about to finish the race. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLL!!!!!! 2:06:41 for her! Congrats! They’re actually getting her on the mic, which is nice, considering that Fearnley got ignored. Definitely a downer to see the wheelers get such little coverage. Women on 1st Ave. now, and here comes the noise.

10:47 AM: Women at Mile 17, Men at Mile 12. Petrova, if she sticks with the pack, has a chance to hit the womens’ over-40 world record. She’s also got a crazy bleached-blonde buzzcut and scares me. Mens’ pack is still basically the same as they finish up Brooklyn. The amount of commercials on this broadcast is astounding.

10:51 AM: Radcliffe’s bobbing her head. No jokes, please. Nah, she does this every year. The women are starting to labor a little. Wami and Goucher look the best of the 5, I think. Men are heading up to the Pulaski, and hey, look who it is! Goumri!

10:53 AM: It’s Goumri, Gomes, Tergat and Kirui from what I can see right now, mens’ pack is splitting up a little, though. Ramaala with them.

10:58 AM: Abdirahman, as everyone predicted, hurt his pace with that show at Mile 6. Womens’ race just hit a 5:21 mile, mens’ pack was 4:41 in the last mile. Goucher at the back of the womens’ lead pack now. Radcliffe and Petrova leading, Tune, Wami, Goucher behind ‘em. Mile 19. Wami starting to stuff her a little. Gaps in the womens’ pack emerging. Over on the mens’ side, Kirui in the lead now. Mens’ race has been total chaos so far.

11:07 AM: Sorry. Needed a salad. And, while I was making it, Radcliffe and Petrova have distanced themselves at mile 21.

11:11 AM: Radcliffe stretching the last 2 standing, Petrova and Goucher, at mile 22. Goucher about 15 seconds back, looking like she’s getting her second wind. Wami and Tune are gonzo.

11:17 AM: Radcliffe has smoked everyone. Gomes dos Santos is leading the men! Let’s get a look at that facial expression! It’s him, Goumri, Tergat and….the other guy, lemme get a name! Never mind. They’re out. It’s just Gomes dos Santos and Goumri now! This could be GOOD.

11:24 AM: If I were to pick it right now in the mens’ race, I’d have to go with the most nervous man on Earth, Marilson Gomes dos Santos. He looks slightly less nervous this time, because he’s not facing Paul Tergat in his prime, and his stride is really something to behold. He’s got longer legs than Goumri, and I think that’s going to be the difference, provided that nothing weird happens. Womens’ race? Duh. The only question at this point is how far behind Radcliffe the silver and bronze will be, and who they’ll end up being. Can anyone in the pack catch Petrova or Goucher? Which one of them will pull ahead if not?

11:28: Goumri’s pressing and has passed Gomes dos Santos! Whoa there! It ain’t over, motherfuckers! The muthafuckin’ saga continues! They’re on the Willis Ave. Bridge coming back into Manhattan, 5 miles to go. Radcliffe’s got a mile to go, still bobbing her head. God bless ‘er. Goumri’s stretching his distance! Hey, Goucher is surging and trying to catch Petrova! We’ve got ourselves some races here!

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11:32 AM: Radcliffe at mile 26, just about to cross the line, 5:13 mile to wrap up! RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Goumri’s givin’r! I may have spoken too soon, folks!

Paula, can you hurry up and win so we can get out of split screen already?

11:36 AM: I’m just kiddin’, folks, she’s putting on a clinic here and it’s great to see. She’s coming around Columbus Circle!

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Paula Radcliffe wins the womens’ prize in the NYC Marathon, with a 2:23:55 time! Damn, she can haul. Congrats to her!

11:39: Petrova still in 2nd! She’s gonna take it! She’s a scary woman, and she’s got a world record for the girls of 40+! Goucher finishes in 3rd, with the best American womens’ debut ever! First American to make the podium in 14 years! 2:25:43 for Petrova, about 10 seconds behind for Goucher! Gutsy performances from both ladies!

11:40 AM: Goumri’s got about 10 seconds over Gomes dos Santos after Columbus Circle, and finally, NBC gets to one of our favorite parts…the other guys!

11:47 AM: Kara Goucher’s hurtin’, in a lot of different ways.

Goumri’s keepin’ on keepin’ on. I jumped the gun on Gomes, as Goumri was sitting on some energy when I made my prediction. About a mile and change left there. Gomes does look really strong still, so it’s not TOTALLY over.

11:49 AM: Gomes dos Santos DID have some more in the tank (he still looks pretty scared, though!), and Goumri looks like he’s hitting the wall! He’s swapped positions entirely now, has about 5-10 seconds on Goumri now! They’re in mile 26! Where is Goumri? He’s way back there now!

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Marilson Gomes dos Santos pulls ahead to make me look like a genius, and wins the New York City Marathon for the second time with a time of 2:08:43! Goumri gets to be the bridesmaid again, with a 2:09:08. Poor bastard. He’s gonna win one in time, as he’s got a lot of running ahead of him in his career. Congrats to both guys!

11:55 AM: Daniel Rono takes 3rd, 2:11:22, and amazingly, there are NO Kenyans on the podium!

11:58 AM: Abdi Abdirahman finished 6th as the first US mens’ finisher, which is still a good effort considering how he faded in the middle. 2 more Americans in the top 10 after him.

12:02 PM: Interview with Radcliffe. She gives a shoutout to Grete Waitz, and then sneezes! God bless her.

12:11 PM: Finally, the other people! Rod Dixon, 1983 winner, is running with his daughter, and actually getting to enjoy himself this time, pretty awesome.

Gomes dos Santos being interviewed at the finish line. He’s like “I wasn’t scared”. OK, not really.

Paul Tergat finished 4th after a year and a half layoff, by the way.

12:22 PM: And again, we go to the pack, who are on 1st Ave. now!

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

A Special Forces guy who lost his sight in a mortar attack is being interviewed. He’s running with a guide, 26.2 miles though New York, blind. Unbelievable.

Womens’ awards ceremony happening now. Bloomberg on again, I wonder if he’ll mention the crappers again? Nope, he’s behaving. Hey, Grete’s there! Awesome.

Kid being interviewed right now, hilarious. “I’m very very tired. Don’t let anyone tell you it isn’t far! It’s a really long distance!” and now, he’s proposing to his girlfriend! SHE SAID YES, PEOPLE

12:28 PM: Mens’ award ceremony now. Poor Goumri. He’ll get ‘em next year! I can’t believe Gomes dos Santos won again! He looked like such a fluke in ’06, and he’s still such an odd runner in his pacing, totally unpredictable.

12:38 PM: they found the Notre Dame runners, who are running as a group to honor their teammate Ryan Shay, who died in the Olympic Trials on Marathon weekend last year. Man, it takes some stones to be able to run, do an interview about a friend you lost, and be able to chant his name LOUDLY while doing all that. Those are some tough guys.

The lady from Queens is winning the 5 Borough Challenge, which is just about forgotten this year. I guess they needed to fit in more commercials.

12:50 PM: RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Aaaaaaaaaaand another video package. They’re not doing very much to keep viewers in the race.

Kerri Strug’s wearing an iPod in New York! That’s not very safe! And, of course, when they catch up to Brandy Chastain, they have to ask her if she’s gonna put ‘em on the glass or whatever. Poor woman’s never gonna live that down.

And now, Grete Waitz! We love Grete.

1 PM: World Marathon Majors ended in a tie for the women, between Irina Mikitenko and Gete Wami. The committee is going to put it to a vote in about a half hour. Interviewing Mikitenko (who didn’t run today, and sat in the stands) right now. Wow, can someone really come off as bitchy through a translator? Go Gete!

And ANOTHER video package. Get some reporters out on the course and interview the regular people, for fuck’s sake!

Wow. They just interviewed a lady named Debbie McGee who is running the marathon today with ALS, also known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease. She’s run 4 marathons since her diagnosis, and she knows that this one is going to be her last. I lost my grandfather to ALS when I was 5, and knowing what it did to him, I cannot even imagine what she must be going through out there. That one hit REALLY close to home.

1:10 PM: They’re finally doing the video package (heh) about the Five Borough Challenge now, with less than an hour to on live coverage. Oh man, the Staten Island entrant is REALLY Staten Island. Susan Moore of Queens won, by the way, at about 2:57-ish.

1:20 PM: Lornah Kiplagat’s on right now. She didn’t run this year (she’s been doing half-marathons lately), but she’s there promoting her foundation, which helps pay to send Kenyan students to Ivy League colleges. Admirable goal, and the girl she had with her that’s going to Columbia University was incredibly well-spoken. It’s great to see people get chances they might not otherwise.

1:33 PM: Hmmm, still no JSRC sightings with a half hour to go.

1:38 PM: Wow, this guy from Foot Locker…not much of a talker.

1:40 PM: Ryan Reynolds just finished. Good on him. Now, if only he or his wife could act.

1:50 PM: Mayor’s Cup won by the Firemen this year. Just about ready to wrap it up over here.

2:00 PM: To close, I think I’m just about done watching this on TV for a while., and it probably showed a bit in my last hour, almost as much as it did in NBC’s, but unlike them, I apologize if it dragged a bit at the end. They really didn’t set the world on fire with their coverage, though there were some flashes of the work they’re capable of.

As far as the race went, no surprises in the womens’ or wheelers’ races (though you really had to squint hard to even see the wheelers), but great performances from the frontrunners in chillier, windier conditions than people were expecting. The mens’ race was a very different animal than we’re used to, perhaps owing to the colder temperatures as well, but had an exciting finish and it was cool to see Gomes dos Santos vindicate himself like he did.

All in all, though, as I said months ago, I think it’s time to stop watching the television, and go out there and experience this.

Next year.

Thanks for indulging me for the 8th straight year, in the meantime, and stay tuned. =)

Day 8

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., NYC Marathon. on April 16th, 2008 by Scott Crawford

1 minute jogging/2 minutes walking
2 minutes jogging/1 minute walking
1 minute jogging/2 minutes walking x 8

Total time: 31 minutes (running an unbalanced program today, with an uneven number of 2 minute jogs, threw my pace off a bit, I think)

Total mileage: still can’t find my fucking pedometer, but I got further into the course than last time.

Breathing was the best it’s been to date, I was just about in rested form by the time I got to the house. Shins, not so much, though the worst of it’s passed, and it really only lasted from about my 8th 1 minute jog until maybe 15-20 minutes ago. Been shopping for sneakers, and I’m getting closer to figuring out what I do and don’t want (man, respect to Run-DMC, but Adidas running shoes really suck these days), but I think I need to hit one of the dedicated running stores in the area like The Running Store or Fleet Feet, which is mentioned in Grete’s book as a go-to place before I’m going to know what I want, at which point I’ll probably piss the owners of both stores off by looking for the best price on what I like and more than likely finding it online. ;)

Also:

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., NYC Marathon. on April 14th, 2008 by Scott Crawford

Martin Lel won the London Marathon over the weekend, his 2nd time in a row, 3rd time in London in 4 years, and his 2nd major in a row (Lel, if you recall, won New York in November). This means he’s probably out for Boston unless he’s clinically insane, but you have to give him an inside track on a repeat in NYC. He’s at the top of his game right now.

7th Annual My Big, Black Cock coverage of the ING NYC Marathon

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., NYC Marathon. on November 4th, 2007 by Scott Crawford

Official site here, to bring interested parties up to date on elite runners, etc. quicker than I can, and to hook you guys up if you feel like spending $5 for the netcast, but we know that most of you read this for my ridiculous commentary.

To give you a quick rundown of who’s in this year and who I like:

Elite Men: Marilson Gomes dos Santos, last year’s winner, returns in a “get the fuck out of town” attempt to defend his crown. Those of you who read last year’s coverage will remember that, while it was a gutsy performance (the dude fought off the legendary Paul Tergat and Stephen Kiogora down the stretch), it was a total “get the fuck out of town” win. If this guy repeats, he achieves instant god status, but I don’t see it happening. Among the rest of the field (which is missing some notables like Tergat and Meb Keflezighi, who ran the Olympic Trials yesterday if I’m not mistaken), some of my favorites would have to be Kiogora and perennial contenders Martin Lel(the 2003 winner), Hendrick Ramaala (the 2004 winner) and Rodgers Rop (who won both Boston and NYC in 2002; that was a long time ago in long-distance terms), but his winning time in Hamburg this year, 2:07:32, was a personal best…). I’d call Olympic gold medalist Stefano Baldini a wild card. Great resume, but he’s never done this course before. Not having seen the starting line yet, it’s tough to pick who looks good, but my early gut instincts lean toward Lel and Kiogora.

On the womens’ side, lots of intrigue. Jelena “I’ll kick your ass as soon as look at you” Prokopcuka is attempting to not only defend her crown, but become the only other woman besides Grete Waitz (who we hope is doing well in her battle against the big C) to win 3 consecutive NYC Marathons AND win the World Marathon Majors womens’ title (the mens’ title is already decided, with Robert Cheruiyot taking the title ahead of New York). She’s got 2 very tough people to beat if she wants to get there, though, as World Marathon Majors frontrunner Gete Wami, Catherine Ndereba (who has an amazing resume, but has never sealed the deal in New York), and world record holder Paula Radcliffe will be gunning for her. I still give the edge to Prokopcuka, as she’s damn tough and she owns this course, but it won’t be easy.

Over in the wheelchairs, Kurt Fearnley, who turned in an unforgettably gutsy performance last year, recovering from some awful road rash he got in Brooklyn to not only win but set a course record, has to be looked at as the favorite, though he’ll be up against the other 3 best mens’ wheelers in the world, Ernst Van Dyk, Krige Schabort and
Saul Mendoza (all of whom who’ve won New York) as well as Masazumi Soejima, who took Boston this year. On the womens’ side, defending champ Amanda McGrory (who won in her debut) faces off against course recordholder Edith Hunkeler, Sandra Roy and Wakako Tsuchida.

And among the masses, there’s this guy again and a record 39,000 other people. =)

I got a late start this morning, as you may be able to tell, so here is the delayed start to the wheelchair race:
WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!

Women start in 15 minutes, thanks for joining us for year 7!

9:30 AM: Kurt Fearnley owns 4th Ave. in Brooklyn, just as he did last year. Women starting in 7 minutes.

9:35 AM: Oh fuck, they’ve got a Baldwin doing the intro to the coverage. It’s Alec, “a lifetime New Yorker” (except when he wanted to move to France), doing it. Ugh. Someone send in the Canadian Air Force. At least he didn’t call anyone a pig.

9:37 AM: Elite women at the gate. Radcliffe looks a little lean, Wami looks TOUGH, and Jelena looks like Jelena.

Time for the first one of the day:

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9:42 AM: 5 Borough Challenge starting in 10 minutes, and Radcliffe, Prokopcuka and Wami lead the pack by a ways as they’re about 2/3 across the Verrazano Narrows Bridge.

9:48 AM: Radcliffe’s not pacing herself at all. I think it’s a mistake. Gete Wami 2nd, Ndereba 3rd and Prokopcuka 4th as they’re leaving the bridge. Fearnley absolutely KILLING the competition in the wheelchair race, unsurprisingly.

9:54 AM: What’s up with these guys who play harmonica for people all morning at the goddamned starting line? God, that irks me. ;) 5 Borough Challenge starting soon. Same 1-4 in the womens’ race. Someone in the wheelchair race is totally checking out the womens’ asses. That SWINE.

9:55: 5 Borough Challenge has begun!

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:05: OK, the elite men and the masses are at the starting line. I’m going to give a slight edge to Lel after seeing them all lined up. Tevin Campbell’s singing the anthem. When did that little shit turn 40?

Here we go, folks, the moment we’ve all been waiting for…

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
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UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

10:19 AM: womens’ race is down to Radcliffe and Wami at the moment as they’re heading into Billyburg, both of them running rabbits’ paces, possibly a world record pace at the moment. Baldini seemed to be the guy that the men’s pack are respecting on the bridge, but Rop and Ramaala are taking the lead coming off.

10:21 AM: Women’s wheelers have Edith Hunkeler (coming back from a rough injury) on yet another course record pace. She’s got company, though, 2 other racers in sight.

10:30: Rop’s taken the lead in the men’s race, but it’s still kind of a wide pack.

First Lance sighting, and he’s looking good. 6:30 per mile pace. He’s got a dude with green hair with him, in his own words.

Ramaala looking like he’s making a move.

10:35: Radcliffe and Wami are a minute ahead of the pack at the 10 mile mark. I still think Radcliffe is gonna wear herself out, but her form’s good so far. Wami ditched her hat.

Fearnley is in Central Park! He should be done in a few!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Not setting a record this year, but Kurt Fearnley wins with a time of 1:33:58! Awesome work!

Radcliffe and Wami now 2 minutes ahead of the pack. Men sticking together, but Ramaala in the lead from the looks of it.

10:53: Ramaala is turning on the jets, and they went from a 5 minute pace to a 4:27 pace like *that*. Pack starting to thin out, Baldini gone, Gomes dos Santos is just slightly back of the pack. Lel is getting credit for setting this pace from the commentators, and I can believe that. They’re not showing a lot of the mens’ race yet, because the Radcliiffe/Wami show is as compelling as it’s been. They’ve just crossed the Pulaski Bridge into Queens, with the 2nd pack consisting of Lidiya Grigoryeva, Prokopcuka and Ndereba in 3-5 on the other side of the bridge.

10:55: Edith Hunkeler is still on course record pace in Central Park! What a comeback!

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
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COURSE RECORD! CONGRATS TO EDITH HUNKELER FOR THE 3RD TIME! FUCKIN’ A!

11 AM: Radcliffe and Wami are on the 59th St. Bridge, with the chase pack (Prokopcuka now in 3rd) 2:45 behind them. I think you’ll see Prokopcuka and Ndereba turn on the jets on 1st Avenue. Wami’s starting to look like she’s laboring just a touch. It’d be a great time to make a move.

11:05: Ndereba lost about 50 meters on the bridge. Interesting. Wow, the pack in the men’s race has GAINED members at 11 miles. Baldini coming back into it. Women just about to hit 1st Avenue. They’re on. Radcliffe picking up steam on Wami, not surprising. Let’s see what happens to Prokopcuka and Grigoryeva when they get on the straightaway.

11:10: Men are almost out of Brooklyn, I think you’ll see some movement at or around the Pulaski.

11:15: Women still on a course record pace, Radcliffe stretching Wami. Men on the Pulaski, and there you go, Ramaala, Rop and Lel, with Lel just overtaking Ramaala at the center of the bridge. All of these guys are experienced players in this race, and I think it’s theirs to lose.

11:25: Dang. That is a BIG fuckin’ men’s pack. They’re getting close to the 59th St. Bridge. Mile 15, no real change aside from a bit of movement from Baldini (back in the pack) and Gomes dos Santos (establishing himself a bit finally). Women are 20 miles in, heading toward the Bronx. Radcliffe is stretching Wami some more. No friggin’ sign of the chase pack.

11:27: Men are on the bridge. They keep letting Alec Baldwin talk, though. :(

11:33: I dunno, Wami’s still hangin’ here. She’s a pesky one! Radcliffe now looks like she’s laboring a bit. I’ve been expecting this since the beginning, and we’ll see if I called it. Men on 1st Ave. Lel leading now, Ramaala and Rop right with them. I still like Lel here. The rest of pack splitting up. Who’s this sneaking up on the top 3? It’s Abderrahim Goumri from Morocco! What a great name! :D

11:37: Radcliffe’s grimacing, busting ass now, but still not shaking Wami. The commentators make their picks: Al picked Wami and Ramaala, and the other guys (haven’t differentiated their voices, I think they’re both new) went with Paula, with one picking Lel and one going with Goumri.

11:40: Prokopcuka is about 4 minutes back of the other 2. She’s gonna need a miracle to threepeat. Damn, the men did a 4:20 in their last mile! Ramaala and Lel shoulder to shoulder! This race is as good as it gets. James Kwambai from Kenya picking up 5th here, poor dude missed his last marathon due to malaria!

11:45: Radcliffe and Wami heading south to Columbus Circle, Mile 23, at 2:03 or so. Wami almost exactly where she’s been for the past, oh, 20 miles or so. Lel looking good, Kwambai passes Ramaala and takes 3rd. Radcliffe starting to turn it on again…this is actually the most distance I’ve seen her put between them. Wami is starting to turn it back on. Course record pace, within a second or so. Radcliffe doing the work, and whuppin’ ass now at mile 24. Eh, Wami’s getting half a mil regardless of whether she wins or not, if I were her I’d say “fuck it”. ;)

11:55: Women in Central Park now! 2:10-ish. Wami is back on Radcliffe’s ass! Radcliffe trying to break Wami on the inclines! Mile 25, and the geniuses at NBC cut away to a recap of 3 years ago. :P They’re back, and Radcliffe still hanging on. Radcliffe looking rough there, but still ahead. Wami looks comfortable right now. Downhill surge by Radcliffe. Wami RIGHT on Radcliffe still. Radcliffe kicking again, but they’re off the record pace. Radcliffe trying to pull away AGAIN…it might be working now…Wami’s on her way back…Wami’s RIGHT on her again…and again with the sprint by Radcliffe…SO evenly matched, these two…they’re on the last incline…Radcliffe puts another gap of 3-5 meters out there…Wami RIGHT back…this is brutal…they’re still neck and neck…mile 26! Still half a mile to go…Radcliffe pouring it on! Finally, Wami takes the lead! Radcliffe back! Wami’s burst to the lead may have cost her the race! Radcliffe is HAULING ASS now. Radcliffe’s got it!

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Paula Radcliffe is our winner with a time of 2:23:07!!!!!! Wami finishes 2:23:32! Congrats to both! Prokopcuka in 3rd.

Back to the men! Lel leading still, Goumri in 2nd, and Ramaala laboring in 3rd. Rest of the pack is gone. 1:54 in, mile 24 happening right now. According to the commentators, Ramaala’s “toast”, so it’s a 2 man race now, Lel and Goumri…

Prokopcuka is crossing the line at 2:26:13, 3rd place for her, good show, but she was against 2 women on a mission.

Back to the men again…this is a rematch of the London Marathon, and Lel took that one. I’m still going with Lel. He’s damn good.

12:10: Lel and Goumri still neck and neck. These guys are arch-enemies, like Batman and the Joker, the Yankees and the Red Sox, and Ann Coulter and reality…

Very nice work by both guys here, still neck and neck as they hit the 2 hour mark, just about 10 minutes left in the race…Ramaala still in 3rd, with Kwambai at 4th and Gomes dos Santos representing in 5th. No idea how far back the chase pack are at this point, but the television people are ignoring them, so it can’t be good for them.

12:15: Mile 25…Lel’s still in there, and the commentators sense a burst by Goumri, but he just looks like he’s laboring. However, it’s kinda like shades of Gomes dos Santos last year, who looked like he was DYING down the home stretch but still made it happen.

Top American woman, Elva Dryer, finishes in 6th.

12:16: Lel still just slightly ahead of Goumri on mile 26, pulling ahead a bit, around Columbus Circle.

Lance Armstrong passed 18 miles in under 2 hours! Good man!

Here they are in the park, Lel, Goumri, Lel opening up a can! Let’s see if Goumri can answer! Forget about it! This race mirrors Radcliffe/Wami so closely! Lel has pwned Goumri! Goumri’s fucked! Lel running! Goumri thinking “aw, fuck, not again”

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Martin Lel takes it at 2:09:04! Goumri takes 2nd, here comes Ramaala. Lel and Goumri arm and arm with their flags! Congrats to all y’all!

12:25: And now, the rest of us. ;)

12:37: Interview with Paula “Get your own Wami, biaatch” Radcliffe on now. Absolutely radiant.

Official Womens’ Results:

Radcliffe: 2:23:09

Wami: 2:23:32

Prokopcuka: 2:26:13

Grigoryeva: 2:28:37

Ndereba: 2:29:08

Lel’s being interviewed now. Not quite as radiant as Radcliffe, but God bless ‘em.

12:43: Handing out the medals now…man, Bruce Beck kinda blows. Time for President Bloomberg (watch for it in 2012) to pass out the goodies. All the ladies look great post-race. Very cool.

Here’s a nice shot of the masses. RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!

Lance’s goal was 2:50. He’s on a 2:44 pace right now. That sick fuckin’ asshole.

12:50: Time for the medals for the men. Here he is, folks. Martin muthafuckin’ Lel!

12:55: Lance Armstrong is on his last half mile, still lookin’ badass. Gonna be sub-2:47. Damn. 2:46:42! That’s a nice improvement, 30 seconds a mile over last year. Insane. Good on ‘em.

1 PM: OK, now we’re down to the regular folks and the 5 Borough Challenge if I’m not mistaken (no sign of any of those folks, very odd). This is my favorite part of the race, when we get to hear the stories of the regular folks, whenever these damn folks can the recaps! Shades of Boston 2 years ago.

1:13: Hey, Chris Reeve’s half-brother’s out there, running for his foundation. Nice to see.

1:20: Mayor’s Cup winner (police vs. firefighters) winner is a rookie firefighter, looks fresh as a daisy. They’re at the marathon finish line now, hitting up the regular folks. Everyone at the line is just plain stunned. Wow, Tucker Anderson, out on the course, 32 NYC Marathons in a row, hasn’t missed a day running since 1992. Amazing.

1:25: Finally, they remember that there’s a 5 Borough Challenge in progress. Re-introing the folks, let’s see how they’re holding up. Ha, the Bronx guy is like “The Bronx is definitely the best borough to run through!”, and I’m like “You’re damn right.” No wonder he’s winning. The Manhattan runner is 67 years old! Damn.

1:33: Awesome technology, with the GPS in the tags, they have real-time finish line crossing data on the left hand side of the screen periodically. They should do that throughout the race, I think. Maybe in the HD, holy shit that’s a big screen TV era, we’ll see what happens. Jelena Prokopcuka is talking to Al Trautwig right now, and she ran the entire marathon on a bad leg. She finished 3rd on a bad leg! That’s one hell of an athlete. She’ll win again soon, maybe as soon as next year.

1:39: Some more great stories: a guy from Munich who ran the race in lederhosen! A guy from England who lost 138 pounds, winning the “UK’s Biggest Loser” contest, and then he decided to start running marathons! He was up to 400, and he’s actually down to 235 now! That’s like losing a person! Of course, Len Berman, bastion of sensitivity, was like “I would’ve liked to see him run it at 400!” Nice job, dick.

1:45: Awww, mother/son combo! And the Bronx wins the 5 Borough Challenge! Someone tell him that no one’s chasing him, so he’ll stop running. ;)

1:53: Talking to all the 5 Borough Challenge participants. Man, the Brooklyn girl had an asthma attack during the race. That’s gotta be scary. They all finished, though, even the 67 year old Manhattanite who ended up in the med tent for a bit from cramps. They gave her some Tums and she was fine. This was her 70th marathon. I can’t even imagine, still not in any kind of shape to start seriously training for my first. Good job, folks.

2:10 PM: Recap of the bittersweet Olympic mens’ qualifying marathon, held in New York yesterday, being played now. 28 year old Ryan Shay collapsed at around the 5th mile and died, sadly. Been a bad year, between this and Chicago, for marathon-related deaths. Overall, the sport’s still very safe and they’ve got great people looking after the runners, but stuff like this does happen sometimes and is a damn shame. Folks, keep your doctor notified on any plans to do anything serious like a marathon (and get a second or third opinion if you, like Ryan Shay, have a pre-existing medical condition that could affect you), and don’t push yourselves too hard. This is, first and foremost, supposed to keep you healthy and be fun. Kind of an awkward segue, but as for results, Ryan Hall won the race, and he, Dathan Ritzenhein and Brian Sell are headed to Bejing in ’08.

Holy crap! This one guy has run 63 marathons in 63 days! Madness! Good for him, he did it for charity.

2:25 PM: OK, NBC is wrapping up, so I’ll do the same. The story of this year’s marathon was a return to glory by past champions, in some cases (like Radcliffe, Hunkeler and Lel, all coming back from injuries and in Radcliffe’s case, also returning from childbirth!) defying some pretty incredible odds. Every major winner this time has done this before, and it was nice to see them add another major to their respective resumes through perserverance, ability and utter professionalism. Then, you have a gentleman like the one they closed the coverage with, who’s run 25 marathons since getting a heart transplant, and is moving onto trying to do a marathon in each of the 50 states from here, and it puts the “triumphing over adversity” in even greater perspective. I’ll see you all at next year’s New York Marathon, and perhaps I’ll do Boston again this year if I’m feeling charitable. ;) Thanks for reading!

6th Annual NYC Marathon Coverage (AKA “RUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111″ Part IV)

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., NYC Marathon. on November 5th, 2006 by Scott Crawford

Update 1: 8:40 AM: Pre-game starts here now, and NBC starts broadcasting at 9. If you want to watch it live on the web, that’s an option now if you have $5, but I’ll do take care of you the same way I have for the past 3 years. Shaping up to be a GREAT race, with a a fantastic mens’ field, including 2005 winner and world record holder Paul Tergat, perennial frontrunner and 2002 winner Rodgers Rop, 2004 champion Hendrick Ramaala, and American frontrunners Meb Keflezighi and Alan Culpepper, all of whom could take this thing. On the womens’ side, Latvian Jelena Prokopcuka is back to defend her 2005 title, facing off against mainstays Susan Chepkemei, Lornah Kiplagat and American Deena Kastor. And, of course, 2005 wheelchair champion and professional badass Ernst Van Dyk will be facing off against fellow professional badass and 2001/2004 winner Saul Mendoza and 2002 winner Krige Schabort in the wheelchair race.

Then, on the amateur side, there’s this guy and a cast of about 37,000 others.

It’s a chilly 38 degrees in New York, with a light wind to the east.

NBC’s gonna be on the air in 20-ish minutes, with a little coverage on Sunday Today right now, so while I’m off getting breakfast, I recommend that you do the same. Get some snacks, grab a beer if you do that, have a good time. This is a blast, kids, and it’s great to be here again watching it with you. More soon, but in the meantime, check out the official ING NYC Marathon site and the Wikipedia page for the race. =)

9 AM: Yeah, motherfucker! It’s on! They’re showing Ramaala/Tergat neck and neck at the end of the ’05 race. Wow, that was something. Welcome!

9:15: Good news: Hey, Tom Cavanaugh from the TV show “Ed” is running! Is that still on the air? Wasn’t bad! Bad news: Grete Waitz looks exhausted. I hope she’s on the winning side of her fight against the big C. Wheelchair folks are underway, nice bio pieces on the racers now. This is what the Boston coverage was missing! Oh, bummer, crash at the starting line. Hope everyone recovers OK. Aussie Kurt Fearnley is in the lead early in the race.

9:30: Airing profiles of the Five Borough Challenge runners now, one participant for each borough of New York (duh). Should root for David Edwards from Queens, since it’s the home borough now? I don’t know, the girls are kinda cute. =) They’re gonna run. Um. it’s time for the first one.

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9:40: Womens’ field about to start. Boston winner Rita Jeptoo and Elena Prokopcuka look the most confident, unsurprisingly. Here comes the gun…

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9:42: The racers are describing weather as perfect, so we’ll go with that, because it does look gorgeous out there.

9:45: Fearnley wiped out on a pothole, and didn’t stop! He righted himself and kept going in his chair! Add him to the “professional badass” list, man! Awesome work.

9:53: Elite women in Brooklyn, Prokopcuka the rabbit there with Kastor leading the 2nd pack. Elite men about to start. Culpepper had anemia over the summer, hope he does alright. Fearnley hauling ass across the 59th Street bridge, on record pace. He is the fucking mack, people. The. Fucking. Mack.

10:01: Why are the elite men starting late? This is the big “we’re doing a network sporting event” montage, so they’re coming up. I hate these things. =) Womens’ pack are a minute behind course record pack, interestingly. OK, I had that time wrong, I thought the masses were 10:10, not the elite men AND the masses. Right with you on that.

10:10: Tergat looks slimmer but still so goddamn good. The rest of the pack look nervous, especially Meb.

Here we go, folks. Assholes almost done singing the anthem…time to…

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10:13: God, this is beautiful. Look at all the discarded, sweaty garments on the bridge!

10:23: Ooh. Robert Cheruiyot took a NASTY fall crossing the finish line in Chicago. Damn shame. Best to him in his recovery, and here’s hoping that the Boston and Chicago winner comes back to New York next year.

10:33: Paula Radcliffe has shown herself! He’s talking to the broadcast team. She’s preggers! So that’s why she’s not racing.

Fearnley is about to pass the finish line. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
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1:29:21!!!!!! First sub-1:30 time in New York! Congrats to the new king of the badasses!!!!!!!!

10:42: Elite women are definitely speeding up. Talpos still the rabbit, Prokopcuka in 3rd. Get you 2nd as soon as I have it. Hladyr of the Ukraine was the name I was waiting on, but Prokopcuka is in 2nd now at mile 13. 2:28 pace for the ladies.

10:47: Damn, Alberto Salazar’s doing the first 10 miles with Lance Armstrong! What a guy! GREAT to see him out there.

10:50: From the official marathon site about the men, since NBC’s still lax on watching them: “There are about 25 men in the lead pack, and we can see all the major players, including Meb, Paul Tergat, Stefano Baldini, and Ramaala. Dathan Ritzenhein and Alan Culpepper are just off Meb’s shoulder, close to the front of the pack. 29:57 at six miles for the men; they’ve just passed 10K but we don’t have a split yet.”

10:55: Talpos still rabbiting, Hladyr in 2nd, Prokopcuka back in 3rd as the elite women cross the Pulaski Bridge.

11:00: Get back to the mens’ pack, NBC! Oh, there they are in Williamsburg. Heepstarz! 10 miles, though. Kibet of Kenya in 1s, Karjuki, also of Kenya in 2nd, Meb’s in 3rd. DEEP Elite pack, surprising. Tergat hanging back, making them all SHIT THEMSELVES, though.

11:01: Womens’ wheelchair winner coming in. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Friggin’ NBC, wake up a little and get that lady’s name on the screen! Amanda McGrory of the US, 1:54:17, there we go.

11:08: Prokopcuka’s leading, Hladyr is 2nd, and Deena Kastor is now in 3rd as they’re coming across the bridge from Queens to Manhattan. Still a very large mens’ pack in Brooklyn. Lance Armstrong, surprisingly, tiring a bit. He’s been smokin’ too much dope or something.

11:09: Ramaala beginning to make his move. Supposedly gave the NBC crew a knowing “thumbs up”, like “Don’t worry, kids, imma fuck these guys up as soon as we get out of Queens.” Announcers talking about Meb looking great, despite food poisoning on Thursday night! Damn. Hopefully Meb knuckles down and makes the jump from contender to champ, but I still like Tergat. Tergat’s SCARY, if you’ve ever seen him run.

11:12: Women just got a big hand coming up 1st Ave., but a little quieter than I’m used to. The cold could be taking some people who aren’t running out of the race. Mile 17. Prokopcuka and Hladyr have 52 seconds between them and the pack. Awwww, NBC just went to commercial with Joe Walsh’s “In The City” (which some of you will remember from the end of the movie “The Warriors”). Fuck, I love Joe Walsh.

11:16: Men on the Pulaski Bridge now. Same 3 in the lead. Slow pace so far for them, but it’s deliberate. 70 second difference between the rabbits in the womens’ race and the pack.

11:23: Men are starting to get antsy as they approach the bridge. Lots of jockeying for position in 3rd. Meb up to 2nd. Kibet leading. Tergat in 9th…waiting…Rop making a move now!

11:25: Audio guy loves the Doobie Brothers. That’s OK, so do I. Men on the bridge. Manhattan awaits. This is going to be insane. Maybe more than last year.

11:31: THEY’RE IN MANHATTAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111

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Galmin of Morocco made a huge move on the bridge, and he’s out in front! Wow!

11:32: Enjoy it while it lasts, Galmin, because everyone’s surging. Ramaala’s making his first big move of the race. Tergat’s starting to speed up.

11:34: Deena Kastor’s out of the 2nd pack now. Bad break, and it’ll be tough to come back from.

11:35: Chepkemei and Kipligat are also falling off. Weird.

11:42: Mens’ pack thinned out some, and the women are in a holding pattern in Harlem. Wait…Prokopcuka making a run now. Looking GREAT at mile whatever the fuck it is. Oh, 23.

11:46: Ramaala dropped off. Pack of about 11 coming up 1st Ave. Tergat looks so deliberate still. After seeing him last year, I’ve gotta look at him as the favorite in any race he runs for the forseeable future. Ndereba making a move in the womens’ race, a slightly stronger 3rd now. Prokopcuka’s busted it opened, though, so it’s gonna be tough.

11:49: Men on the Willis Ave. bridge now. Brazil’s dos Santos has pulled ahead on an uphill coming in, and looks like he’s struggling a bit, but put some good distance between himself and the elite men. About an 8 man pack there, 4 of which have won a major even. Harlem’s gonna be a good time.

But where, oh where, is Lance Armstrong?

11:52: dos Santos just about has the elite mens’ pack off-camera. Tergat looks like he’s laboring just a bit for the first time in the race.

Prokopcuka’s just KILLING in the womens’ race. I think she’s got this going through the park. Less than 2 miles to go for her.

11:57: dos Santos, Yego, Kinyajui (both from Kenya). 38 second lead for dos Santos, who is LABORING.

Hey, Lance is on the 59th St. bridge! Wow, he could finish under 3 hours! Good for him. Tough son of a bitch. Controversy or no, he’s a great athlete.

12:01: Prokopcuka’s turning into Columbus Circle. She OWNS this race this year, WAY stronger than ’05, and she will win. I don’t have to say here, but i will anyway.

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12:03: 2:25:05! BEAUTIFUL! Yelena Prokopcuka wins the womens’ race at the New York Marathon! Congrats AGAIN to her. Second place coming in, Tatiana Hladyr from the Ukraine has a nice finish and gets a hug from the winner. Hugs all around from the winner! Ndereba takes 3rd, Jeptoo in 4th.

Lance is still hauiin’ ass! Seriously, I busted chops earlier like I always do with the celebs (see Puffy), but this is a good run. He’s got shin splints, and he’s hangin’ tough regardless.

12:10: dos Santos is still doin’ some running out there. I didn’t see anyone Kenyan on-camera, which is just about inconcievable at a major event, and has been for 2 decades or more.

12:13: 23 second lead for dos Santos. Kiogora in 2nd, and wouldn’t you know it? There’s Tergat in 3rd. They’re in the park, but there’s still time.

12:14: 15 seconds now. This could get very interesting.

12:15: dos Santos is hurting, so if they surge, he’s done. 13 seconds. On Central Park South. Holy crap. dos Santos looked back like “Oh shit.” Tergat’s comin’. This is so predatory. If you’re watching this live as I am, you’re watching the most scared son of a bitch ever run the streets of New York. Way more than when Puffy lost his bodyguard before he crossed Willis Ave. Some elite women in the way of the Kenyans. dos Santos looks so tired and so scared, man…but he’s hanging in there. Stay tuned, folks…

12:19: Tergat fading a little, Kiogora picking up…they’re closing, though. dos Santos might do it!

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dos Santos! Kiogora! Tergat! 2:09:58 for dos Santos! DOS SANTOS WINS!!!!!!!!!!!!! CONGRATS TO DOS SANTOS!!!!!!!!!!! First ever Brazilian (How many are in a Brazilian, anyway?) to win New York! No Kenyans win New York, almost unthinkable! dos Santos has become a legend by conquering more than just the course, but also fear. Great finish as always, but this was a different kind of finish. This was a guy who “shouldn’t” have done it and who was scared to death saying “fuck you, you’re not gonna get me” and gutting it out. Great showing, inspiring.

12:25: And now, the other guys, for the next 90 minutes!

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Olympic gymnast Shannon Miller is out there with the poor bastard who had to jog and do the news. She looks GREAT, happy, fresh as a daisy on 1st Ave. Lance is at 2:17 and change…still lookin’ alright. Not great, but alright. He’s at about mile 20. Everyone else is having a blast. =)

12:35: Man, 1st Ave. is full now. Lance at 2:25 and change now (keep in mind, they’re not totally hard and fast times on my posts). dos Santos being interviewed now, en Espanol. Lance out of the Bronx, breathing a little heavier, but 4 miles to go and looking like he’ll do sub-3:00, but definitely 3:10 or so, and he wanted to do it within an hour of the mens’ winner. Prokopcuka being interviewed now, but she looks pretty happy despite the reporter being a pain in the ass. =)

12:45: Awards ceremonies happening now. The usual here. I want a wreath like that!

1:05: Damn it. Got pulled away for a bit. Story from a girl on the street, friend of hers is running her 3rd marathon, post-stroke. Wowza.

1:07: Lance about to cross 3 hours. He’s got a good shot at his goal, though, which was “within an hour of the mens’ winner”. That sick son of a bitch is sprinting now. Jesus. .2 to go.

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1:11: 2:59:37 for Lance fuckin’ Armstrong. Jesus.

1:42: Tom Cavanaugh 3:29 and change. Man, he looks like hell right now. =) Sorry, life keeps pullin’ me away, folks. Tough week.

1:49: Mayor’s Cup (cops vs. firemen, like the ProCon song) still hasn’t been figured out! Weirdos.

1:55: With NBC is wrapping it up, I guess it’s time for me to do the same. More than usual this year, this race seemed to be about triumph over adversity. The biggest stories were about people who beat the obstacles in their path. From a man who “retired” from a physically punishing sport, only to take on an entirely new one, to a woman who had to best a previous triumph against some of the toughest in the world, to a guy who seemed to outrun fear itself along with the fastest runner, hell, runners in the world, to another man who overcame not only huge obstacles but what looked like a harsh injury earlier in the race to become the fastest man in New York for a day, and of course all the people who started running as their way of coming back from illness, addiction, and all sorts of other troubles, there was a lot to be proud of today. Congratulations and bless all of you who ran and run, and all of you who manage to triumph over adversity and have fun even without running.

© 2000-2008 Scott Crawford

On January 24th, 2001...