Short review: Wow. Some half-assed band ripped off “Fade To Black”. Oh, wait. It’s Metallica. Never mind.

Slightly longer review: in fairness, this is a lot better than anything on the last, oh, how many pieces of shit did they put out between “Load” and “St. Anger” again? 3? I forget. However, it’s painfully obvious that they’re pretending to be Metallica so we’ll like them again. It sounds like one of those bands of old guys who get back together and do a song that sounds like they’re trying to be who they were 15 to 20 years ago. Yes, exactly like the last 2 albums The Cult have put out, now that you mention it. Soon, both of these bands will be licensing their music to people who make hard-on pill commercials. Also, someone really needed to chaperone Lars while they were recording this, just to keep him from turning the drums up in the mix. Dude, we know you tuned your snare this time. We’re very proud of you. Can we hear the guitars and bass now, please?

(Part I here)

I know, I’m a day later than my initial goal of the end of June for this, but fuck it. Here’s what I’ve got:

Britney Spears-Blackout: considering that Britney probably wasn’t even conscious during the recording of this album, the emergence of “Blackout” as the best dance pop album since Kylie Minogue’s stellar “Fever” puts the producers up for the Nobel Prize, if you ask me. They managed to make a great dance record and encapsulate a nervous breakdown, which is nothing to sneeze at, trust me. There really isn’t a slow point on this record, which really should have borrowed the title “Music For Titty Bars” from Trent Reznor (who joked that he was going to call the follow-up to “The Downward Spiral” that after “Closer” became a titty bar staple). If you haven’t heard this yet, even if you’re not a fan, give it a listen. I think you’ll be pleasantly surprised.

Yeah Yeah Yeahs-Is Is EP: a really nice return to form here, as Karen, Nick and the other guy (heh) re-record some of their older unreleased pre-”Fever To Tell” songs with great results. If you liked the first record and the 2 EPs preceding it, but were left a little flat by “Show Your Bones” like I was, rejoice, as this is way more in line with what I (and a lot of people) liked about the Yeah Yeah Yeahs in the first place.

Melt-Banana-Bambi’s Dilemma: having lost track of Melt-Banana for a while (they do release records pretty often, but they get lost in my library sometimes), this one kept my iPod busy for most of last summer. They’ve evolved some from the Melt-Banana I last remember hearing, as there’s some more mainstream rock, punk rock and melody in what they do now (contrasted with earlier M-B, which elicited a lot of “How the hell are human beings doing that, and how the hell did they think of doing it in the first place?”), but they’ve lost absolutely none of their speed, power and energy in the process. Really cool album.

Robert Hazard-Troubadour: it’s been a long, long road for Philadelphia singer-songwriter Robert Hazard, who you’d probably best know as the writer of Cyndi Lauper’s hit “Girls Just Wanna Have Fun”, or from his own new wave classic “Escalator Of Life”, but on “Troubadour”, Hazard’s Rykodisc debut, Hazard continues a return to his folk roots that he started with 2004′s “The Seventh Lake” and “Blue Mountain” and hinted at on 1998′s superb “Howl”. This is an excellent, rich sounding, beautifully played roots rock record, evoking his idol Bob Dylan, John Fogerty’s solo material and interestingly (and perhaps in a nod to his past life in new wave), I hear a lot of Bryan Ferry in the vocals here, too. It’s great to hear a local hero like Hazard finding his voice and experiencing an artistic renaissance before our eyes as he has here.

Shriekback-Glory Bumps: if you’re aware that Shriekback are still releasing records, the appearance of this album on this list shouldn’t surprise you in the least, as I loved their last album, “Cormorant”, but if you’re not, get on the bus, man! Barry Andrews (who I’m beginning to think is a rhyming demon along the same lines of DC Comics’ Etrigan) and co. return with an even stronger showing here, just as lush, edgy and interesting a listen as “Cormorant”, but more accessible at the same time. The opening track, “Hooray For Everything”, is probably the best pop song from the past year or so that you haven’t heard, and other standouts include the Leonard Cohen-ish “Bittersweet”, the gorgeous “Amaryllis In The Sprawl” and the title track, with its Wolfgang Press-ish funk. Shriekback are another act on this list (and as you all know, I’m a sucker for this) who are on their second career, and I think I may like this one even more than I liked the first one.

The Lost Patrol-Launch And Landing: on this record, which turned out to be the swan song for vocalist Danielle Kimak Stauss (who’s moved onto…something or other…Danielle, give me a holler, it’s been ages!), atmospheric surf noir act The Lost Patrol really hit their stride, perfectly capturing the presence and mood of their live shows (one of which, I had the pleasure of co-headlining). Personal favorites from this record are “Venus Burlesque” and the opening “Sirens”. The Lost Patrol are carrying on with new singer Mollie Israel, and have begun recording with her already. Best of luck to them and to Danielle as well.

Celebration-The Modern Tribe: this is an awesome second outing from Baltimore’s innovative Celebration, featuring Katrina Ford, one of the most powerful, unique-sounding vocalists on the planet, and Sean Antanaitis, who’s one of the most amazing multi-instrumentalists I’ve ever seen perform (bass pedals, organ and guitar at the same time, people). Slightly more melodic than their self-titled debut (which may be a blessing to some of you, as I’ve heard people say that they had trouble connecting with the first album until they saw them live; eh, fuck ‘em, I loved the record), “The Modern Tribe” is nonetheless every bit as evocative and soulful, and the trademark tribalism of drummer Dave Bergander propels the entire recording. Highly recommended, and an even higher recommendation for seeing them live. If you get a chance, do it. They’re tremendous.

The Wildhearts-The Wildhearts: the Bay City Rollers go thermonuclear, get really pissed off, do a bunch of drugs and steal a bunch of Ramones, Cheap Trick and Motorhead records. That’s The Wildhearts in a nutshell, and this album’s no exception. The opening “Rooting For The Bad Guy” is an album in and of itself (I can’t remember the last time I’ve heard a band jam quite this hard and build tension so effectively by doing so on a record), and it just goes from there. I fucking hate myself for missing the show they did on the Rocks Off boat last year, but it’s probably just as well, as the boat probably would’ve capsized if there was one more person on it. This is a band who, when I saw them, blew out the PA’s power at Tribeca Rock Club 3 times, didn’t stop playing as it happened, and didn’t lose much volume in the process. If that gives you some idea of what you’re in for, and it sounds like a good time, get this record, because the record’s pretty representative of what they’re like live at this point. Fucking epic.

Honorable mention, because it’s “only” a single:

The Schema-Those Rules You Made: Rhodri fuckin’ Marsden, ladies and gentlemen. Rhodri fuckin’ Marsden. Our man at The Independent had a mission: to record, distribute and promote a single from his bedroom in a 30-day timeframe. To do this, he gave us the future yacht rock classic that is the title track, and the XTC-ish B-side “On Wheels”, and then to top it off, he made this brilliant video with Alex de Campi:

The video received over 276,000 views as of this writing, and Rhodri has made about £132 of his costs back from sales of the single, which means he’s about £735 in the hole still. However, there is hope! If you’re familiar with the concept of The Long Tail, here’s where you can become a part of it! “Those Rules You Made” is still available from iTunes, and directly from Rhodri himself. Go get you some!

Again, as I did in ’06 (I think I did a list in ’06…), I’m listing these in no particular order of preference. These are, in my opinion, the best, most interesting records I’ve heard that were released in 2007. I’ll get Part II out soon, but for now, let’s get started:

Nicole Atkins And The Sea-Neptune City: Patsy Cline and Roy Orbison’s illegitimate grandchild drags Phil Spector away from all the legal proceedings and cuts an album. Results: brilliance. Nicole’s got a huge voice that we’re never going to hear the end of once the rest of the world finishes catching on (they’re getting there), so enjoy her as much as you can now before the overplay REALLY kicks in. If you’re going to any festivals in the US this summer, she’s probably playing the one you’re going to, and I definitely recommend catching her, as her voice will downright scare you with how amazingly big it is.

Download-Fixer: the Skinny Puppy record we wanted to hear this year. As instrumental electronic records go (and I’m still not huge on ‘em), this was the best ’07 had to offer in my view.

Rush-Snakes & Arrows: their best in 20 years, and I’d call it a Rush record for people who don’t like Rush records (it’s more moody than manic, but not so moody that they totally lose the plot or forget what people do love about Rush), as well as one for people who kind of dig them. They’re doing another leg of the tour for this album, and as I thoroughly enjoyed the first leg, I’d recommend catching them if you haven’t.

Throbbing Gristle-Part II: The Endless Not: how can you not love a comeback album from TG? It wasn’t even a “kinder, gentler” Throbbing Gristle record (though there’s no real “Subhuman” on it). It still brought the weird n’ creepy, though as a bonus, you get to hear how nearly 30 years of music per band member since they called it a day shapes their sound, so while they’re neither kind nor gentle, they’re certainly mature. I hope they continue their efforts for as long as they can, as they still have a lot to offer, collectively, in addition to what they do on their own.

Radiohead-In Rainbows: amazingly, this is one of those mega-hyped, mega-played records that really does bring the goods, and I’m still happy to hear it months after the fact, when I come across it. It’s actually one of those records that not only stands up well on its own, but ends up being “the rug that really ties the room together” in their catalog, and frames the last few records they’ve done perfectly. After listening to “In Rainbows”, all their other post-”OK Computer” output made a lot more sense to me in context, and stood out better as songs rather than just “Radiohead trying to make important music rather than likeable music”, which was my opinion up to this point. It’s not that they were ahead of their time necessarily, or that it took me time to “get” what they were doing, I don’t think. I really do think of this of a situation where the albums fit together sort of like a puzzle, musically speaking. Not that there’s some high, deep “concept” to them, just that, until they got where they are now, it sounded like pieces were missing, and now that they’re here, they’re not anymore. I’m looking forward to hearing where they go from here, certainly, and enjoying where they are now.

Nine Inch Nails-Year Zero: “And the award for Backhanded Compliment Of The Year goes to…”
I might as well get the two overhyped ones out of the way, back-to-back, heh. I think most people who know me and read my stuff know that I don’t have the world’s highest opinion of Trent Reznor, and know that I think he’s really coasted through most of this decade (and parts of the last) while being hailed as a “visionary” by people who don’t know any better. Trent would probably yell “I learned it from watching you, Bowie!” if cornered on the matter, but the fact remains, a lot of the time, Trent’s kind of a lazy flake. However, that rant aside, as that’s not really what we’re here to discuss, there are times when he gets off his ass and does something to justify the disproportionate amount of attention he’s gotten over the years. “Year Zero” was one of those times. If you’ve been avoiding his stuff for a while, since (insert name of album where you think he jumped the shark here), this one is worth giving him another chance on, as it’s pretty good. Download it if you can, though, because giving him money just encourages him to dump crap like “Ghosts”, “With Teeth” and “The Slip” on his poor fans.

Nena-Cover Me: nope, not a typo. I said Nena. Yes, her! You know, she of the Luftballons, all 99 of them? Well, she’s got a 2 CD record of covers out! And it’s quite good, in that “returning star from the ’80′s releases an album of occasionally-overly-faithful-but-still-good cover songs” way! The first CD is all German stuff, and I’ll admit, I’m not all that familiar beyond Bowie’s “Helden” and the Rammstein number (which I wish I wasn’t familiar with, but hey, Nena makes everything better!), so it’s a “deeper” listen than the second disc, which is all English language covers, and what covers they are! Everything from Floyd to Air to Dylan to Mazzy Star to that pop-punk-ish cover of The Cure’s “Friday I’m In Love” that you dreaded someone annoying like Avril Lavigne doing, but ha, fuck you, Avril! “Fuck you in the ass with a big rubber dick!”, as my man George Carlin might say, because Nena got to it first! She even busts out T. Rex’s “Children Of The Revolution” and “Darkness”, from Peter Gabriel’s last one, “Up”, and through all of it, she sounds great, like she hasn’t aged a day. The band and production at times are a touch safe, but overall, it’s a worthwhile, interesting listen, and it’s great to hear Nena still doing viable music, even if it’s not her own, necessarily.

The Scorpions-Humanity Hour I: moving on through our list of “veteran German performers who released albums in 2007 that aren’t Einsturzende Neubauten (sorry, guys!)”, we have Klaus and the boys, who paired with producer Desmond Child (Bon Jovi’s “Slippery When Wet” among a ton of others) and somehow, defying logic, came up with an album that sounds fresh, contemporary, and still sounds like The Scorpions! This one was a really nice surprise, from a band who seemingly have nine lives.

Happy Rhodes-Find Me: this was the last addition to the list, but it very well may be the best. Absolutely sublime record from an idol of dozens who, if there were any justice, would be the idol of millions, and still be able to have a private life and creative control. I hate to make the usual comparisons here, but to give you an idea of where she comes from, if you’re a fan of Kate Bush, Annie Lennox or Peter Gabriel, you need to hear Happy Rhodes in general, and for the purposes of this discussion, “Find Me” in particular. This record has utterly blown me away.

Semi-Precious Weapons-We Love You: this one comes with a lot of qualifiers, just because I’ve been following them for almost 2 years now, and I’m pretty familiar. First off, if you can, along with this, I heartily recommend that you get the Precious EP and the Magnetic EP from ’06 (both of which may be out of print and sold out now, but to be sure, you can email or MySpace message Justin and ask if he has any left…feel free to tell him I sent you, he might actually know who you’re talking about…), as there are alternate versions of some of the songs on “We Love You” that benefit from the more raw production on those EPs (though, with former Bowie producer Tony Visconti at the mixing board for “We Love You”, the production isn’t exactly a slouch here). Second, you MUST see this band live to fully appreciate them. As I’ve said before, they’re the best band in New York right now, and one of the best in the world. Absolutely electric. That said, “We Love You” is a perfectly acceptable introduction to SPW until you can snag the EPs and see them live, and it’s got some material that isn’t on the earlier EPs that I’d consider instant classics. “Time Zones” (which could be straight off the soundtrack to “The Rose”) and the epic “Genius” are definitely the standouts here, and if the right people hear these songs, we’re all going to be hearing them for a very long time. If you like loud, obnoxious, catchy glam rock/metal, you really need to latch onto this band.

Reviews of more albums you need to hear in the Best of 2007 part II, here.

I like the new Coldplay album.

Holy shit, was the new “Rambo” good.

Holy shit, was “Iron Man” good.

“Harold & Kumar Go To Guantanamo Bay” was OK, but it reeked of sequel.

I’m so glad Doug Pierce is still releasing the same record after all these years. Good times. Here’s hoping he gets a bigger audience out of it.

Really solid, pretty record. Nice combination of good Radiohead and “important” Radiohead. I think it’ll do very well for them if they get the distribution squared away, because it’s very listenable, and I think it has the potential to win back a lot of the people they alienated post-”OK Computer”. Good stuff, and I think it’ll hold up to repeat listens.

For those wondering about the ordering and downloading process (since I think some are more curious about that than the actual album), it was slightly intrusive on the ordering side (Phone number as a required field? Hopefully, we don’t end up renaming this album “OK Telemarketer”…), and I take points off for using 160k MP3s (320s would’ve been appreciated), but they were solid sounding 160s, so we’ll let ‘em slide a bit on that. After all, I did pay $.93 USD for the record. =) The most important part of the system was in good order this morning, though: the download email did work like a charm, and the process was fast and simple (they send you a link to the zip file the mp3s are in, you click it, it downloads quickly, done).

Yep, Flock still sucks. Bloat bloat bloat bloat bloat.

…makes Dead Or Alive sound like Accept by comparison.

It’s *brilliant*.

You all need to own a Fiskars Pruning Stik. Unless, of course, you live in a place where there is zero vegetation. That is all.

…but the Joy Stick by Applegate Farms is the best damn meat snack I’ve had in recent memory. Can’t get enough of the damn things!

The unrelenting fucking hype really is somewhat justified: “St. Elsewhere” by Gnarls Barkley really is one of the best records of the year, and one of the best R&B/Soul records I’ve heard in a good long while. It’s fresh-sounding and classic-sounding in the same breath. Enjoy the record while you still can, because it’s going to get played to death for the rest of recorded history. If you want to hear some and don’t feel like dealing with navigating a Flash site, go waste some of Fox’s bandwidth and hit their MySpace page.

On the other hand, I’m a few songs into the new Tool record and I just don’t give a damn about it. It’s just like every other Tool record. They’re not bad, but I’m almost never inspired to listen to Tool. If you like all of your music to be expertly played, moody, and sound exactly alike, BUY THIS RECORD. Otherwise, don’t bother. You probably have a Tool record somewhere in your collection. Go listen to that if you have to.

DJ John-Victim of Da Funk (Eagles Vs. Daft Punk)

Awesome, awesome stuff, maybe the best mash-up I’ve heard. DJ John’s done a lot of other good stuff, too. Check it out at his site.

Passable, but it really should’ve been called “Yuppie Holocaust”, and they should’ve edited out any scenes in the movie where the camera wasn’t fixed on Virginia Madsen. I think I actually enjoyed watching “Elektra” more, right before I watched this, and “Elektra” wasn’t very good, either. **

Hands up if you saw it.

Hands up if you thought it was, like Rent, a totally halfassed, bastardized Disneyfication of a subculture.

Just once, I’d like to see someone who’s trying to tell this kinds of story get it right. It’s like everyone who tries to encapsulate a place and time in the New York that used to exist before Giuliani and 9/11 has lost the plot. No one seems capable of really nailing the grit and sleaze and “last night before the end of the world” vibe that permeated so many corners of New York subculture without making it glossy and quirky and cutesy, and it’s frustrating, because I don’t want to have to write things like this, but the stories need to be told and they aren’t being told in a genuine and authentic manner. To be honest in my appraisal of my abilities, I don’t think I’d nail it either. I know what some things are and were like, and I know what I’d want to see, but I wasn’t close enough to the subject matter to make people who were there feel like they are there again upon reading or seeing or hearing it, and unlike some folks, I’d want to accomplish that more than I’d want to con middle America. I’d rather see people who are more uniquely qualified than I am tell the stories, but they’re not. Again, frustrating.

Also, why do people who create things like this have such a fucking Jim Steinman fixation? Jesus. That shit has no place in this kinda work.