At least I’m not putting it out there in June this year.

To be frank, this was a pretty lean year for new music, especially new music by new artists. I looked, and didn’t find much. I wish I had, honestly, it’s not just me being a cranky old man who’s like “All that new shit sucks!”, and there are newer artists who are doing good things. They just released their albums in ’07. There also wasn’t very much in the way of compelling heavy metal this year, which is kind of a drag. When I have to even half-consider Metallica for a list like this, the metal community’s been slacking.

Anyway, onto the list, which is no particular order, with brief comments if I can get a handle on that whole brevity thing, man.

Guns N’ Roses-Chinese Democracy:

and not just because it finally came out. I’ve really enjoyed this album a bunch. It’s not a perfect record (there are a couple of songs on it that aren’t up to the standards of the others), and if you were looking for “Appetite For Destruction” or even “Use Your Illusion”, you’re gonna be disappointed. I think Axl and his new band really did terrific work here, on the whole, and it’s a terrific hard rock record in a world that’s short of them these days.

The Killers-Day And Age:

I like this one a bunch more than “Sam’s Town”, their last one. It’s more relaxed, and not suffering from “Holy shit, we have to knock everyone on their asses with our second album!” syndrome. If the last one turned you off, it’s safe to come back now.

Pinky Beecroft And The White Russians-Somethin’ Somewhere Better:

I’ve written about this one at length here, and it’s holding up very well. I really hope this record makes it out of Australia (and does well there too), because it’s really a worthwhile listen that’s grown on me with each listen. The songs land anywhere from clever to anthemic, and that’s a tough range to pull off. Good job, Pinky and co., and I look forward to hearing more.

Grace Jones-Hurricane:

everyone’s favorite really scary woman returns from a long absence, and releases the record Massive Attack didn’t get around to releasing this year. Good to have you back, Grace! Now do that crazy snarl for us!

The Cure-4:13 Dream:

here’s where I make all the sp00kypants types in the audience cry. I think this is a terrific record, and if you’re a Cure fan and you don’t, fuck you. No, it’s not “Disintegration Of Pornographic Bloodflowers in Seventeen Seconds”, but neither are about a dozen of their other albums. Musically, this is Robert Smith doing a pretty straightforward pop/rock record, and the band and production are totally on point. Lyrically, Robert’s still singing about being old, on drugs, and having one night stands, which he’s been doing for a ways now, but I don’t think anyone’s expecting him to suddenly start writing about social injustice or Jesus or anything. He writes what he knows. He’s in good voice, which is pretty remarkable considering how unorthodox his vocal style is, and considering that he is old, probably on drugs, and more than likely, having one night stands a lot. Really, I can’t find too much wrong with this album. People have given way less shit to artists who’ve put out bad late-period albums (I’m looking at you, Nick Cave), but because this is The Cure, and Robert has “Disintegration” to live up to, this record’s getting unfairly shit all over, despite being a really solid effort in my view. Give it a shot with an open mind, if you’ve been avoiding it because of all the whining people have done about it.

Portishead-Third:

I’ll confess, I haven’t listened to this one a lot in the second half of this year, but I enjoyed it plenty when it came out. It’s actually closer in style to Beth Gibbons’ solo record “Out Of Season” from a few years back than the first 2 Portishead records, but if you like Portishead, I think you’ll dig it.

The Dandy Warhols-Earth To The Dandy Warhols:

absolutely nothing new here, if you’ve heard older Dandy Warhols records, but they’re not as totally fucking stoned as they were last time they did a record, so this one’s pretty good. Consistently one of America’s best bands, but yeah, they were high last time, and they’re slightly less so here.

Rick Springfield-Venus In Overdrive:

God friggin’ bless Rick Springfield. That’s all I have to say here.

Coldplay-Viva La Vida or Death and All His Friends:

“You know how I know you’re gay?” Yep. Good record.

Amanda Palmer-Who Killed Amanda Palmer?:

Amanda’s really coming into her own as an artist. This is some good stuff, whether you’re a Dresden Dolls fan or not. I’m in the “sorta” column, personally, having enjoyed them a bunch live, but not being someone who listens to them casually all that often. This record, though, really well put together, an easy listen, and one of those albums where you look up from what you’re doing every so often and think “Wow.”

Honorable mention:

Tom Jones’ “24 Hours” is a bit uneven, but when it hits (like on the opening “I’m Alive” and “The Hitter”), it KILLS.

Enjoy, and feel free to leave your own picks/suggestions/opinions in the comments.

Christ, there are a lot of people in this band, and I’ll totally fuck up the names if I even try to name them all: Pinky Beecroft (center, in pimp-tastic red track suit) and the rest of Machine Gun Fellatio, who are going to call me on being the right cunt that I am for not naming each of them individually. If I’m lucky, anyway. Oh, fine, fuck it, let’s have a go at this, and let them at least kill me for getting a name wrong: (from left to right) KK Juggy, Brian Ferrysexual, Three K, Pinky Beecroft, The Love Shark, Chit Chat Von Loopinstab, The Widow Jones. Fucking ‘ell.
(Photo courtesy of MGF’s web site, uncredited)
I should totally be ashamed of myself. This has got to rank as one of the most slack interview procedures in the history of interviewing. Way back in October, Australian sleaze rock gods Machine Gun Fellatio came all the way around the world to get naked, take some drugs, and play a gig in…the upstairs room of a strip joint here in New York City (they also stopped in the UK and went on to California, but let’s not let that get in the way of good copy!). Plans were made at the time for singer/keyboardist/”cunt of the band” Pinky Beecroft and I to do an interview coinciding with the gig, which because of illness, I very sadly missed. Plans were adjusted for an email interview, and Pinky warned me in advance that I’d have to keep bugging him to remember it, because he’s a forgetful sort. So I did, and did so for a few months. During that time, Mr. Beecroft lost my questions at least once, apologized about twice as many times, and in a completely unrelated incident, his band opened for Robbie Williams and Duran Duran back home. Finally, about 2 weeks ago, Pinky delivered the goods: all my questions were answered, and the story was set. All I had to do was post them…a few days went by, a week, and now two weeks later, after my stellar attempt to look far less professional than my interview subject (who really was generous with his time) I’ve finally gotten off my ass to bring you all Pinky Beecroft: The My Big, Black Cock Interview. Thanks and apologies go out to Pinky and the rest of the MGF crew; hopefully, I’ll have the stamina for you kids next time you’re in the States, and I mean that in a few different ways, all of them good. You folks should check them out too if you haven’t already; they really need to be heard to be appreciated (and there are clips in the “Media” section of their site), as wordy, cunty little rock journalist descriptions of their sound do them no justice.
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“Drink…from the nectar of the Gods…”
From left to right: DJ Blood Sacrifice, the departed Evil Ray, Prometheus, Saucy Jack, Fra Diavolos.

Normally, I like to fill this space with a little something to introduce you to the subject of each interview, but what can I possibly say about this next band that hasn’t already been said by Christian fundamentalists, the PMRC, or Satan? Heck, the Gods Of Fire are such a bastion of metal greatness that Satan manages them, as you’re about to read! I kid you not! Vocalist Prometheus, guitarists Saucy Jack and DJ Blood Sacrifice, drummer Fra Diavolos, “Fire-ette” Lucretia XXX, the mysterious “New bassist”, and even Satan himself recently took some time out of their busy schedule of preparing for their upcoming New York gigs (see the bottom of this article…they’re playing TONIGHT, November 10th in New York at Arlene’s for one!), torturing souls and listening to “Sad Wings Of Destiny” on repeat play to talk to My Big, Black Cock about their endeavors, the power of METAL, and their day-to-day debauchery.
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J.G. Thirlwell of Foetus shows us the goods, circa 1991 at New York’s Limelight.
(Photo Credit: Scott Crawford)

In the second installment of our Flashback Interview series, MBBC staffer justj0hn provides us with an interview with J. G. Thirlwell, of Foetus/Wiseblood/Steroid Maximus/Manorexia fame that he and his compatriot Michele (last name omitted to protect the innocent) conducted in 2001 for the now-in-limbo Faqt Magazine. Thanks to both justj0hn and Faqt for allowing us to bring this one back for public consumption.

As for Ma Thirlwell’s baby boy Jimmy, according to his web site, there will be a new Foetus album available in 2004, and it seems as if he’s been keeping busy in the meantime. I highly recommend the Foetus site, as it’s chock full of information.

In addition, if y’all are interested, I may eventually be persuaded to post yet another interview with Mr. Thirlwell that I did for Propaganda back in the dark ages of 1991 or so as a separate Flashback Interview, but that probably won’t be posted for a while.

And now, J.G. Thirlwell: The My Big, Black Cock Flashback Interview.
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Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Richard Hackley.

We’ve had a lot of doom, metal, and Satan on this site over the last month, what with Slayer, Cathedral, and Devin Townsend appearing. In the interest of fairness and equal time, My Big, Black Cock went hunting for a scoop, and I believe we’ve found one. Christian artist Richard Hackley rose to prominence (some might say infamy) somewhat recently as his “SongSermons”, particularly the epic “God’s Backhand”, were featured on the now-defunct worstoftheworst.com site, which profiled what they referred to as “Very Bad Music on the Internet”. It seems that they’ve since fallen prey to God’s backhand themselves. ;)

I found something quite different than flat-out “very bad music” when I found Richard. Music that’s simply “bad” to my ears, I tend to find to be unlistenable, but this was not the case with the music I heard. I couldn’t (and still can’t) get enough of this stuff, and this has been the case with many of the people who I’ve turned on to Richard’s music as well. I found a whimsical, bombastic sound musically, with the unlikely echoes of Kraftwerk and Laibach in the arrangements. Vocally, the obvious comparison is to the recently departed Fred Rogers, which makes for quite an unusual juxtaposition of styles, admittedly. The lyrics, while they are indeed “sermons” of a sort, differ from the intolerably sappy norm of Christian music, and seem to possess (inadvertently or otherwise) a sense of levity to them. You can’t help but notice that Richard Hackley’s enjoying himself when he makes these songs, and his enjoyment is infectious in a rather quirky way.

Perhaps even more unlikely was the reception I received when I came to Mr. Hackley with my interview request, from “mybigblackcock.com”. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, other than an almost-definite “no”. Not only did he surprise me by agreeing to the interview after mulling it over for a period of time, but he’s been one of the easiest folks I’ve gotten to work with in the time I’ve been doing this (which, if you don’t take my hiatus from interviews into account, goes back over 12 years now).

As a rule, in part because of my ethical, political, and spiritual leanings, and in part because most people who call themselves “Christians” strike me as being anything but, I don’t usually do so well in my dealings with them. Richard has proven himself to be an exception to this rule in many ways, and an exceptional guy PERIOD…bright, insightful, open-minded, Internet-savvy, and a consummate pro in a sea of amateurs. Big thanks go out to him for agreeing to do this interview, and for investing a great deal of his spare time in it.

Without any further ado, the one you’ve all been waiting for…Richard Hackley: The My Big, Black Cock Interview!
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Gene Hoglan of Strapping Young Lad (Photo Credit: Matt Fisne)

I caught up to drumming god Gene Hoglan (Strapping Young Lad, Death, Dark Angel) on a street corner in New York City (no, he wasn’t looking for hookers) before SYL’s show there with Samael and Cathedral, and he graciously answered a question that’d been on my mind since I first saw him perform.

Scott Crawford: Gene, how do you make it look so easy? You do this crazy shit behind a drum kit, and it looks effortless for you.

Gene Hoglan: Well, it’s not brain surgery, man…it’s just metal drumming.

SC: Have a great show tonight!

GH: Thanks, brother!

“OH! MY! FU! CKING! GOD!” Devin Townsend live at Toronto’s Opera House, 10/03/03.
(Photo Credit: Matt Gahagan)

For the uninitiated, Devin Townsend is one of the most prolific and exciting artists in music today. Since beginning his career at 19 as a singer with Steve Vai’s band on the 1993 “Sex And Religion” album/tour, Devin has exploded forth with a prodigious musical output under a variety of different monikers, most notably Strapping Young Lad. His music, described by many as “progressive metal”, is an unparalleled mix of heaviness and melody…intensity and brutality juxtaposed with an almost pop sensibility at times. Townsend’s music will kick your ass all over the place, but you’ll find yourself humming it later in the infirmary whether you want to or not. There’s simply too much musical ground to cover in a brief introduction, but the web site of Devin’s label, Hevy Devy Records should do it some justice.

My Big, Black Cock sent two devoted brothers of metal, Mark Y. and Jamie Olmsted, to interview Devin before the Toronto date of his marathon “All In The Family” tour, which included Strapping Young Lad as headliners, as well as his latest “Devin Townsend Band” project and the metal gods Zimmers Hole (featuring Jed Simon and Byron Stroud of SYL). The following is a transcription of what happened. Metal discretion is advised. :D
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Cathedral, from left to right: Brian Dixon (drums), Lee Dorrian (vocals), Garry “Gaz” Jennings (guitars), and departed bassist Leo Smee (Photo Credit: Joe Dilworth)

Kings of doom metal. Reincarnated 70′s rock gods. One of the hardest-working, longest-suffering bands in metal. Take your pick, Cathedral fit the bill. I sat down with founder/vocalist Lee Dorrian and guitarist Garry “Gaz” Jennings as they were wrapping up their U.S. tour with Samael and Strapping Young Lad, and we made our way through their views on the recent metal scene, how they’ve coped with being survivors of the “next best thing” curse (among others they seem to have endured), and what it truly means to be ‘eavy.
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Nick Cave, circa 1992 (Photo Credit: Anton Corbijn)

In the first of My Big, Black Cock’s Flashback Interviews, we turn back the clock to 1992, when Cari Luna and I interviewed musician/author Nick Cave. Nick had just released his album “Henry’s Dream” at the time, and his first novel, And The Ass Saw The Angel was still fresh in the minds of his fanbase. Cari, in turn, chose to tackle the literary aspects of his work, and as a result, she came away with an extraordinary interview that offered a great deal insight into Mr. Cave’s work (and psyche) that was missing from many of the articles I’d read up to that point. (By my own admission, I was there mostly for moral support, so my contribution to this piece is minimal.) Regrettably, the magazine who had asked us to do this piece seemed to miss this part at the time, and a different piece on Nick Cave was run in its place. Since then, this interview has been sitting in my file cabinet, unread for over a decade…until now.

Within the context of this web site’s new direction, I feel that the time is finally right for this interview to see the light of day. Hopefully, despite its ripe old age, it’s still a piece that can be enjoyed by everyone, and something that offers that insight I mentioned earlier into the mind of one of the world’s most gifted, evocative songwriters. Thanks go out to both Cari herself, and to the publisher who paid for this at the time, but ended up not using it. Both have given us their blessing to publish this. Without any further ado…
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“Don’t hold back, Kerry. Tell us how you REALLY feel.” (Photo courtesy of American Recordings)

SLAYER.

No, I don’t think you get it.

SLAYER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“To my species, this is like climbing Everest.”-Triumph The Insult Comic Dog

Never in a million years did I think I’d ever end up interviewing any of the guys from Slayer, but there I was, on the phone with Kerry King from his hotel in Las Vegas, shooting the shit. He was an awesome, down to Earth guy, and I had a lot of fun talking to him.

Jonathan and Mark from No Cover set this one up for me (Thanks, guys! Hope you dug what I submitted…), as I did a story on Slayer for their October issue, which should be available very soon all over southern California among other places, and of course at their web site. In addition to a mini-review of their “War At The Warfield” DVD, there’s a ton of news straight from Kerry about their upcoming spot on the Jagermeister Music Tour, the new album, and their upcoming “Soundtrack To The Apocalypse” box set in the No Cover piece. I strongly recommend checking it out along with the rest of the new issue.

However, I had a whole lot of Slayer left over when my work for No Cover was done. So now, without further ado, the stuff that was “TOO HOT FOR NC!” (That’s a joke, actually. Well, except for maybe the bit about “St. Anger”, heh.) Here’s “Kerry King of Slayer: The My Big, Black Cock Interview”!
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(Photo Credit: Roe Ethridge)

(Apologies if this shows up in your syndicated feed twice because of the date/time edits, but for easy reading, I needed to re-arrange the pieces…)

On September 12th, 2003, I had the privilege of doing one of the most incredible interviews I’ve ever been a part of. Fuck that. It was probably one of the most incredible interviews I’d ever heard, seen, or read. Andrew W.K. took over an hour out of his busy schedule of PARTYING HARD to talk to My Big, Black Cock. This was a HUGE interview, and will be spread out over 5 parts this week as a result. Here’s part one. We begin with Andrew’s and my musings over the loss of two legends…

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When we left our heroes, they were discussing Andrew’s extremely positive outlook on life, which he humbly described as “a way of looking at the truth”. In Part II, goes into more detail on how he applies this to recording and performing music.
Read on, true believers… (with apologies to Stan Lee)
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Andrew W.K. and bassist Gregg Roberts onstage, Irving Plaza, New York City, 09/09/03. (Photo Credit: Scott Crawford)

In Part 2 of this interview, Andrew and I discuss his approach to making music.

As Part 3 begins, the focus shifts from himself to his incredible live band (Jimmy Coup, Frank Werner, and Erik Payne on guitars, Gregg Roberts on the bass guitar, and Donald Tardy on the drums)…
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We pick up part 4 of this incredible interview with Andrew, with me totally kissing his a…nah, just kidding. Part 4 talks about the tours, and of course about connection he shares with the people who are seemingly Andrew W.K.’s reason for being, the fans.
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(Photo Credit: Roe Ethridge)

So here we are, 5 days and 10,759 words later. =)

Before I go any further, I have to thank everyone who made this interview possible, including Lauren at Island Records for setting it up, Jonathan at No Cover Magazine (for helping with the setup, as this was originally going to be a feature for them), my mother (Sorry, folks. She doesn’t have a web site.) for bailing me out of a tape recorder problem at the last minute, Andrew (OF COURSE!) for taking time out of his extremely busy schedule to spend over an hour with My Big, Black Cock, and finally, thanks to everyone who’s had the time and patience to stick with us and read this landmark interview. This was a big step forward in the site’s history, and according to Andrew, the interview covered new ground for him, too.

On Monday, we’ll have a MUCH shorter, but still totally excellent interview with Kerry King, founder and guitarist for thrash metal gods SLAYER, and we’ll try to have a new interview up every following Monday for as long as we can keep it up. If you’re interested in seeing anyone interviewed on My Big, Black Cock, or even better, interviewing someone for the site, suck@mybigblackcock.com and we’ll discuss it.

Enough business! Onto the fun! Here’s Part 5 of Andrew W.K.: The My Big, Black Cock Interview!

In the final part of my interview with Andrew, we close by talking about the business end of his music, and sum up with his thoughts on the future.
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