I just finished reading Marc Almond’s superb autobiography “Tainted Life”, which presented within itself both a deep, yearning question and a logical answer. “Why wasn’t I born earlier, so I could’ve appreciated and participated in all these incredible things that he got to experience?”, I asked. Later in the book, I answered “Because you’d be DEAD BY NOW if you had, you fool!”

The book is absolutely brilliant. Glitzy and trashy, possessing equal boatloads of life and death angst and dry, smirking wit, it is essentially a 450 page Marc Almond song. I was utterly awed by the things he’s experienced. I felt like I was watching a really bad car accident when I read about the turmoil behind his work in the pioneering synth duo Soft Cell. I marvelled at his extraordinary descriptions of some of the places he’s visited over the years. And, admittedly, I had to keep myself from gagging at times while reading some of his all-too-vivid accounts of his legendary excess.

In the end, I found myself both amazed and damned glad that he survived it all, and got to tell us all about it from the other side of his many ordeals. I had an idea that some of this had gone on, but no idea just exactly how much. After reading “Tainted Life”, Marc Almond appears to be like quite a few of my friends, and at least a little like myself…a person whose love of music has literally kept them alive at times, and who still uses that love to perservere through the dark times. He’s a treasure; not in the “worth untold material riches” sense, but in the way that an old, lost item that you’ve been looking for forever is when it finally turns up on the table of a flea market dealer. It’s usually well-worn, seems a bit odd to the person who doesn’t know what they’re looking at, and you know your friends will think you’re crazy for taking it in, but you do anyway because you love it, and wouldn’t part with it for anything in the world.

I found “Tainted Life” to be an irresistable read, but as one can probably tell, I’m a rather big fan of his. As even he acknowledges at times throughout the book, Marc Almond can be a love-em-or-leave-em proposition. I’m not entirely sure that one of Marc’s detractors would be won over by this book, but I remain hopeful that his warm, sharp, candid retelling of the rise, fall, rise, fall, rise, fall, and rise (did I get them all?) of one of the most gifted entertainers of the past 25 years would draw a reader in and make them care about Marc Almond regardless of their prior opinion of his music.

“Tainted Life” is an absolute must for fans of Marc or Soft Cell, people interested in a first-hand account of a musical life that spans eras from glam rock to techno, and for those of you who enjoy a good sleazy, dirty biography.

“Tainted Life: The Autobiography” was published by Pan Books and can be purchased directly from the “Kiosk” section of Marc Almond’s web site.

Yes indeedy, the usual Monday night band is off once again, which brings us Millennium Karaoke, featuring the Z Brothers y Tony of BROOKLYN FUCKIN’ NEW YORK!!!!!!!!, doing all “the best hits of the ’90’s and today”. You know…your Soundgarden, your Nirvana, your Alice In Chains, your Pantera, maybe a little of those White Stripes that the kids are fond of.

The running time is the same, 10 PM-1 AM, the place is the same, but the band and the songs are totally different. There will be no “Sweet Child ‘O’ Mine” tonight, boys and girls.

Ladies and gentlemen, Mr. Richard Hackley.

We’ve had a lot of doom, metal, and Satan on this site over the last month, what with Slayer, Cathedral, and Devin Townsend appearing. In the interest of fairness and equal time, My Big, Black Cock went hunting for a scoop, and I believe we’ve found one. Christian artist Richard Hackley rose to prominence (some might say infamy) somewhat recently as his “SongSermons”, particularly the epic “God’s Backhand”, were featured on the now-defunct worstoftheworst.com site, which profiled what they referred to as “Very Bad Music on the Internet”. It seems that they’ve since fallen prey to God’s backhand themselves. ;)

I found something quite different than flat-out “very bad music” when I found Richard. Music that’s simply “bad” to my ears, I tend to find to be unlistenable, but this was not the case with the music I heard. I couldn’t (and still can’t) get enough of this stuff, and this has been the case with many of the people who I’ve turned on to Richard’s music as well. I found a whimsical, bombastic sound musically, with the unlikely echoes of Kraftwerk and Laibach in the arrangements. Vocally, the obvious comparison is to the recently departed Fred Rogers, which makes for quite an unusual juxtaposition of styles, admittedly. The lyrics, while they are indeed “sermons” of a sort, differ from the intolerably sappy norm of Christian music, and seem to possess (inadvertently or otherwise) a sense of levity to them. You can’t help but notice that Richard Hackley’s enjoying himself when he makes these songs, and his enjoyment is infectious in a rather quirky way.

Perhaps even more unlikely was the reception I received when I came to Mr. Hackley with my interview request, from “mybigblackcock.com”. I wasn’t quite sure what to expect, other than an almost-definite “no”. Not only did he surprise me by agreeing to the interview after mulling it over for a period of time, but he’s been one of the easiest folks I’ve gotten to work with in the time I’ve been doing this (which, if you don’t take my hiatus from interviews into account, goes back over 12 years now).

As a rule, in part because of my ethical, political, and spiritual leanings, and in part because most people who call themselves “Christians” strike me as being anything but, I don’t usually do so well in my dealings with them. Richard has proven himself to be an exception to this rule in many ways, and an exceptional guy PERIOD…bright, insightful, open-minded, Internet-savvy, and a consummate pro in a sea of amateurs. Big thanks go out to him for agreeing to do this interview, and for investing a great deal of his spare time in it.

Without any further ado, the one you’ve all been waiting for…Richard Hackley: The My Big, Black Cock Interview!
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Just so I can ask the question “Can I blow your grandmother? I hear she’s got a lot of snow.”

This actually came to me in a dream. The madness is getting worse by the day.

Blowville.com is now a proud sponsor of My Big, Black Cock. I’ve never been to Blowville, but I’m sure it’s a lovely place. Lots of white picket fences.

I’d make the name an active link in this post, but that’d cost them an extra $5.

If you’d like to join our prestigious group of advertisers like blowville.com, here’s where you can do it.

Damn, I’m gonna miss Rerun. I’ll never forget when he got busted trying to bootleg the Doobie Brothers show, or when he joined the cult that worshipped Harold, the head of lettuce. They really tackled some poignant, timely issues on that show, and Rerun was at the forefront of it all. Rest in peace, big guy.

Gene Hoglan of Strapping Young Lad (Photo Credit: Matt Fisne)

I caught up to drumming god Gene Hoglan (Strapping Young Lad, Death, Dark Angel) on a street corner in New York City (no, he wasn’t looking for hookers) before SYL’s show there with Samael and Cathedral, and he graciously answered a question that’d been on my mind since I first saw him perform.

Scott Crawford: Gene, how do you make it look so easy? You do this crazy shit behind a drum kit, and it looks effortless for you.

Gene Hoglan: Well, it’s not brain surgery, man…it’s just metal drumming.

SC: Have a great show tonight!

GH: Thanks, brother!

“OH! MY! FU! CKING! GOD!” Devin Townsend live at Toronto’s Opera House, 10/03/03.
(Photo Credit: Matt Gahagan)

For the uninitiated, Devin Townsend is one of the most prolific and exciting artists in music today. Since beginning his career at 19 as a singer with Steve Vai’s band on the 1993 “Sex And Religion” album/tour, Devin has exploded forth with a prodigious musical output under a variety of different monikers, most notably Strapping Young Lad. His music, described by many as “progressive metal”, is an unparalleled mix of heaviness and melody…intensity and brutality juxtaposed with an almost pop sensibility at times. Townsend’s music will kick your ass all over the place, but you’ll find yourself humming it later in the infirmary whether you want to or not. There’s simply too much musical ground to cover in a brief introduction, but the web site of Devin’s label, Hevy Devy Records should do it some justice.

My Big, Black Cock sent two devoted brothers of metal, Mark Yeddeau and Jamie Olmsted, to interview Devin before the Toronto date of his marathon “All In The Family” tour, which included Strapping Young Lad as headliners, as well as his latest “Devin Townsend Band” project and the metal gods Zimmers Hole (featuring Jed Simon and Byron Stroud of SYL). The following is a transcription of what happened. Metal discretion is advised. :D
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Cathedral, from left to right: Brian Dixon (drums), Lee Dorrian (vocals), Garry “Gaz” Jennings (guitars), and departed bassist Leo Smee (Photo Credit: Joe Dilworth)

Kings of doom metal. Reincarnated 70’s rock gods. One of the hardest-working, longest-suffering bands in metal. Take your pick, Cathedral fit the bill. I sat down with founder/vocalist Lee Dorrian and guitarist Garry “Gaz” Jennings as they were wrapping up their U.S. tour with Samael and Strapping Young Lad, and we made our way through their views on the recent metal scene, how they’ve coped with being survivors of the “next best thing” curse (among others they seem to have endured), and what it truly means to be ‘eavy.
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For those who didn’t get enough from last week’s interview with Kerry King of Slayer, my second Slayer article, including the rest of the interview, is up at No Cover Magazine’s site, and is also available in the print edition of No Cover, which should be all over Southern California and elsewhere as I type this.

How long will it be before “Queer Eye For The Straight Guy” hits its overexposure point and causes a backlash against being tasteful?

It sounds like an especially painful bowel movement with a drum beat behind it.

According to my in-depth research, tribe.net kicks the asses of both Friendster and myspace.com in terms of user interface.

Now, all we need to do is get everyone to show up on tribe.net.

Sharing the love…

Nick Cave, circa 1992 (Photo Credit: Anton Corbijn)

In the first of My Big, Black Cock’s Flashback Interviews, we turn back the clock to 1992, when Cari Luna and I interviewed musician/author Nick Cave. Nick had just released his album “Henry’s Dream” at the time, and his first novel, And The Ass Saw The Angel was still fresh in the minds of his fanbase. Cari, in turn, chose to tackle the literary aspects of his work, and as a result, she came away with an extraordinary interview that offered a great deal insight into Mr. Cave’s work (and psyche) that was missing from many of the articles I’d read up to that point. (By my own admission, I was there mostly for moral support, so my contribution to this piece is minimal.) Regrettably, the magazine who had asked us to do this piece seemed to miss this part at the time, and a different piece on Nick Cave was run in its place. Since then, this interview has been sitting in my file cabinet, unread for over a decade…until now.

Within the context of this web site’s new direction, I feel that the time is finally right for this interview to see the light of day. Hopefully, despite its ripe old age, it’s still a piece that can be enjoyed by everyone, and something that offers that insight I mentioned earlier into the mind of one of the world’s most gifted, evocative songwriters. Thanks go out to both Cari herself, and to the publisher who paid for this at the time, but ended up not using it. Both have given us their blessing to publish this. Without any further ado…
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