“The drummer was hot in a backseat up the poopchute sort of way. Never liked anyone else in the band, but the drummer…you knew she was a dirty girl. Oh yeahhh…”

-Anonymous

…the last 3 number one movies in America, in order, are: The Passion Of The Christ, Dawn Of The Dead, and Scooby-Doo 2.

The Passion Of The Christ, Dawn Of The Dead, and Scooby-Doo 2.

Sometimes, this shit just writes itself.

Why is it so hard not to say the wrong thing?

Elena’s back.

…about how Beyonce/Alicia Keys/Missy Elliott tickets are being given away via lottery to 50 teenagers at random who take HIV tests and sign up. This brings a few questions to mind:

1. Aren’t most of the people who’d want these tickets “people you wouldn’t want to fuck in the first place”, to paraphrase George Carlin? Sorta fucks up the curve, if you ask me. Missy, OK, I can see, but Alicia Keys and Beyonce? Jesus, they might as well give away Donny and Marie tickets or something. Man, if I were looking to bring in the really promiscuous, heavy drug using teens, I’d be giving away Ozzfest tickets or something. Maybe tickets for that Korn/Linkin Park/Snoop Dogg tour.

2. Do you think they rig the lottery if they find out that you tested positive? “Ah, the hell with it! Kid’s gonna die anyway. Let’s let her GET HER FREAK ON!”

I think ‘Hey I Gave My Man The Pill” would be an awesome band name. No one steal it from me, OK? I’ve got proof. =)

I think I wanna organize a performance of “The Vagina Monologues” cast entirely by old, fat guys who drive trucks.

Tonight’s your last chance (for the forseeable future, anyway) to catch ZO2, at Arlene’s Grocery in NYC. I’ve still yet to hear them, but both David and Paulie Z are insanely talented, and come with a pretty impressive rock pedigree (Dave’s played with Joan Jett and Trans-Siberian Orchestra; Paulie fronts Kiss Nation). These cats are going places. ZO2 goes on at 8:45, and they’re followed by the usual Monday night antics from 10-1. I believe that admission for both events is free, but you can check the Arlene’s site for more details. ZO2 have a site up, but it’s under construction at the moment. Stay tuned for more on that!

This site is a wonderful, touching tribute to the man, the site, and the unforgettable impact they’ve left on the Internet. Includes at least one mirror of the original site (which I was thinking of doing somewhere on the Cock, and still may do…sort of “A Thousand Points Of Goatse”…). It truly is amazing how that disgusting little picture touched peoples’ lives. Kudos to the maker of this beautiful tribute site.

(P.S. In case you’ve been under a rock for the past decade, or were born yesterday…I figure I should warn you that there’s some graphic imagery on that site. *snicker*)

…will you buy a “Scott Crawford Owns My Soul” pin already? Children are starving in Michigan!

From The Dead Milkmen Message Board…

It’s become pretty obvious today, maybe moreso than it’s been in a while, that The Dead Milkmen meant a hell of a lot to a whole generation of awkward, dorky kids, and got us all through some rough times just through the sheer power of getting us to laugh at dumb shit (a power that’s underestimated far too often…). I wonder if Dave knew how many people cared about him and his music? That band got a lot of screwed up, picked on kids to laugh and smile, something that their family, teachers, and sometimes even their friends couldn’t do. Even if it wasn’t enough to get him through, I do hope that he understood how much his band helped people, and got some peace from that knowledge. Hopefully, that understanding helps the people he left behind, too.

My deepest condolences go out to Dave’s family, friends and fans.

Stolen from Warren Ellis who heard about it from Michael Powers, here’s Elena of Kiev’s photo document of the Chernobyl “dead zone” by motorbike.

Seriously, this is mindblowing stuff.

Edit: and Elena’s taken it down for the time being, sadly. Her home page is still up, but the rest is apparently down for construction or some such. Hopefully, it’ll be back soon, because it was really phenomenal work. Thanks to Michele for the pointer on this. I really wish Elena had left an email contact on her site, because I’d love to talk to her at some point.

“Washington has ordered the hunt for Osama bin Laden to be intensified along the Afghanistan-Pakistan border in the hope of capturing him before the US presidential election in November.”