I give you…WALL OF HUCKJAM 3.0!

AHHH JeSuS IS So DoPe!!!! :o) yay…..


















AHHH JeSuS IS So DoPe!!!! :o) yay…..

Here goes…

Things I accomplished this year:

Turned 30. Did it in style. Coney Island, baby. Doing it there again in June for the slightly less monumental 31st birthday, but the location can’t be beat. Be there.

Reformed Murder In The Dark against my better judgment, to “pay the hand” as would say. Needed to see once and for all if it could be made to work. Got some good done while there. Was driven insane. Quit. Stopped talking to 2/3 of the rest of the band, who I’d been friends with for 15 and 12 years, respectively. Then, they got married. Good luck with all that shit, kids. The band, the marriage, whatever.

Joined Get Precious. Having a lot more fun.

I released some of my own music, finally. Also, here’s a song I haven’t recorded yet.

There’s also this. I don’t know what the fuck it is, though.

Hung out with Dain a bunch. Good fucking times, those.

Wrote about 27,000 words of . I’ll be doing some rewrites after the first of the year, and then getting on with it.

I figured out a lot of shit about the inside of my head.

I’m in Canada right now.

Things I haven’t accomplished yet:

I still need a backrub.

I’m not allowed to stay in Canada forever.

I’m still poor.

I still have sleep problems.

I’m still single.

I’m still crazy.

There’s always next year, eh?

Cultural events of 2004 (in my world, anyway):

Deadwood, you cocksuckers.

Skinny Puppy reform, release “The Greater Wrong Of The Right”, tour. I saw ‘em twice. Good times. Here’s hopin’ they stick around a while.

Tears For Fears reform, release “Everybody Loves A Happy Ending”. I missed them, though. Damn it.

Brian Wilson finally finished “SMiLE”, and Kate Bush is just about done with her record. There’s hope for you yet, Axl Rose and Andrew Eldritch!

U2 took over New York, and I was there. Then, I did some other stuff.

Wall Of Huckjam 2.0!

Carvel relents, gives us access to the voice of God

“The guys get shirts. That’s just the fucking way it is.”

I’ve probably forgotten some stuff. I’ll get to it later, along with a full list of resolutions. I’m going to go back to watching the Village People on Much More Retro now. Yeah. Canada.

Happy Fucking New Year. Be safe, be well, and give’r.

Just to get the anticipation that must be crippling three of you out of the way, here’s my list, compiled of the albums that I’ve legitimately played the hell out of this year, in no particular order. No reviews for now, but if there’s demand, I’ll write ‘em up.

Here goes:

Tears For Fears-Everybody Loves A Happy Ending
The Stranglers-Norfolk Coast
Interpol-Antics
The Faint: Wet From Birth
Eagles Of Death Metal-Peace Love Death Metal
Mark Lanegan Band-Bubblegum
Peccatum-Lost In Reverie
Franz Ferdinand-Franz Ferdinand
Brian Wilson-Brian Wilson Presents Smile
Skinny Puppy-The Greater Wrong Of The Right
Probot-Probot
The Killers-Hot Fuss
Exodus-Tempo Of The Damned

Honorable mention (either because I haven’t spent enough time with them, or because they’re not quite on the level of the other ones I named):

Green Day-American Idiot, Monster Magnet-Monolithic Baby!, John Fogerty-Deja Vu All Over Again, William Shatner-Has-Been, !!!-Louden Up Now, Patti Smith-Trampin’, U2-How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb, Orbital-Blue Album, Prodigy-Always Outnumbered Never Outgunned, Velvet Revolver-Contraband

And, finally, noteworthy as the best nervous breakdown of the year: Gene Simmons-Asshole

Questions? Comments? Let me know.

Bass player, guitar player, and keyboardist/drum programmer wanted for backup band/live show situations. In a perfect world, we’ll be playing out before the summer, possibly at the beginning of the spring. A lot of the material is written already, so it wouldn’t be purely collaborative just yet, but there is definitely room for one to flesh out my arrangements.

Ideally, you’ll be in the central NJ area or able to travel here easily, be reliable, and I’d love it if you weren’t a drunk or a drug user.

Listen to the music here, read the list of influences and such, and if you’re interested, drop me a line.

I resolve to be as impeccable about keeping plans as is humanly possible (given the boundaries of my sleep problems), so there will never again be a time where I feel even the slightest bit hypocritical about feeling angry, disappointed, frustrated or hurt when other people don’t keep plans. If this means that I make plans less frequently than I currently do, then so be it, as long as I’m able to keep them all unless there’s a serious emergency that prevents me from doing so.

In a so-called perfect world, I wouldn’t get angry about this at all, since “things happen” and “it’s not a big deal” and “nothing really matters anyway because we’re all going to fucking die eventually”, but this world is neither perfect nor “perfect”, so I do feel angry, disappointed, frustrated and hurt when people don’t keep plans.

YULE TO THE MUTHAFUCKIN’ LOG, y0.

I never liked “real” Christmas trees. They always seemed like too much trouble, were always a mess, rarely if ever look as nice as they’re supposed to, and had the words “fire hazard” ingrained in my head at an early age about them. On the other hand, the fake plastic Christmas tree is a thing of beauty. The faker, the better. There’s something so wonderfully corny about it, so homely when it’s at its best.

I just got done putting up this $20 four and a half foot clearance number. Well, I’m not really “done” with it yet, but it’s assembled, and most of the wire-framed “branches” are spread out so there are no obvious gaping holes in the tree now. It’s still going to need some work before it’s “done” and ready for ornaments (as always, I’ll have my Kiss and AC/DC ornaments hung prominently and carefully on the tree), but it really is charmingly bad, in that “Tim Burton’s prop people would LOVE this motherfucker” sort of way. It’s really worthy of admiration, rather than the “fuck it” it got when my mother took it out of the box this morning, looked at it, and threw it on the ground in disgust. Has she never seen “A Charlie Brown Christmas”? Fucking heathen.

It’s not the best artificial I’ve seen, though. Back in the late 70′s and early 80′s (I think the tree lasted until about ’81 at most), my family had this AWESOME K-Mart motherfucker. It was somewhere between a 6 footer and an 8 footer, though I can’t be sure because my perception of things was obviously different when I was 7 years old or younger. It had individual brown molded plastic branches (Molded to look like actual branches, yet still unbelievably unnatural looking! You just don’t see that kind of quality often these days…), that hung on slots on the tree like some other toy that needed assembly. I also remember the green on the branches being really bad, just wildly fake looking. I’d love to find out the make and model of that tree, and track one down, because it was this mythical beast, very impressive to a man of my age at the time.

Back to the present, though. I haven’t really felt all that Christmas-y this year, until I dug in and got my hands dirty on this beauty, but there’s just something about a fake plastic Christmas tree that really gets you right there, you know? If you don’t celebrate Christmas and don’t relate to what I’m saying at all, you should still piss away $20 on a fake plastic Christmas tree some year, just to get a glimpse of what life’s like for us honkies. That’s all I’ve got for now.

AH LOVE MAH DEAD GAY SON!

What “straight” movie do you get totally turned on by, to the point that it works better on you than porn does?

Lately, for me, it’s been “The Birds”. I’m SO going to hell.

Original Statement: “I’m not sure that I want a relationship right now.”

Translation: “If I must, I can cope with using you and others like you until I find someone who makes me want to flush my self-esteem down the toilet like you’re willing to do for me.”

People of both genders, please start saying the latter rather than the former, and show some fucking honesty.

I may soon have to do the worst thing in the world.

I may have to buy a car.

God damn it.

So, for those of you keeping score, I now need a car, a wife in a foreign country, various musical instruments, a source of income, and a home that isn’t in the fucking sticks.

Hook a brother up.

AIM: sssdddccc
ICQ: 37383449
Yahoo: eartheighteen
MSN: thewildcrawford@hotmail.com

Name your poison, and come harass me. I desire harassment.

Who’s your favorite super-hero, and why? You can use movie or television super-heroes if you like, but I had comic book super-heroes in mind when I wrote the question.

My answer’s a three-way tie. Flash (Barry Allen, the 2nd one to wear the suit and the first to wear the full-body red suit), because he epitomizes “hero”…human and imperfect, but selfless and always striving to do the right thing no matter what the cost; The Thing, because Ben Grimm is like Tom Carvel in super-hero form; and The Creeper (for those who aren’t total geeks, he’s a character Steve Ditko created after he created Spider-Man), because, according to some tellings of the story, at the moment he became a super-hero, he was dosed out of his skull, so whenever Jack Ryder becomes The Creeper, he basically acts like he’s on acid. :D

The Internet finally gets to hear Tom Carvel’s beautiful voice!

Those folks at Carvel are such teases, though. Either that, or they live in fear of the day that the Cookie Puss and Fudgie ads go online, for the flood of traffic they will receive could totally shut down the Internet.

Personally, I think they need to just release a Tom Carvel ad DVD with the Cookie Puss/Fudgie/Thinny Thin/Flying Saucer ads and really, any other ads they have archived. Anything with Tom’s beautiful voice, and maybe even the earliest ones with the “Car-vel! Ice Cream!” song. Yes, I would pay 20 bucks for a DVD filled with nothing but old commercials and a brief, totally whitewashed biography thing. Why do you ask?

We go on at 10 tonight, doing what evil little girls do for a good cause.