I just found a “Police Academy” movie on cable, and I guessed which one it was before I checked the channel info. (It was 3, by the way.)

I think “Bonnie And Clyde” is a really fucking romantic movie.

This movie isn’t out on DVD yet. That’s what’s wrong with this world.

“The Third Olsen Twin” would make a great pet name for a penis. It’s up there with “Montecore”, for sure.

If you want a syndicated feed of this site to appear in your friends list, add cockfeed to your friends list.

I think these needs are unrelated, but I can’t be certain of it just yet.

Regardless, I ask you all to help me live the dream.

…but right now, I’m sitting in a lounge chair in my back yard, after finishing a lunch of Omaha Steaks hamburgers from the grill, and I’m here talking to you people, so the rest of my life can pretty much go fuck itself until I’m ready to deal with it some more.

Enjoy your day, especially if it’s nice outside where you are.

Congratulations to Pope Hitlerpants XV or whatever the fuck his name is.

Link here

Assuming the regulators let this one sneak through (And why wouldn’t they? They’re going to be all “Macrowho?”), it’s time to brace ourselves for a far more annoying Internet experience.

“Pope died again.”

“Yeah, I know. They had CNN on at the bar.”

“Haven’t people got anything more fun to do at a fucking bar than watch a pope die?”

Seriously, folks. Do we fucking suck as a culture THAT MUCH?

Don’t answer that. Let a comment spammer reply to this, like they do every other fucking obituary I write. I think that really sums up the state of the world today. At least I watched “Dirty Harry” this morning. That’s what we should be doing instead of having this ghoulish month of self-flagellation where we’re doing nothing but waiting for the weak to die en masse, live on CNN. We should watch Dirty Harry movies. They’ve got a few of them at Wal-Mart for $5.50 each right now. If we’re going to be a bunch of brainwashed consumer media swine, we should at least be Dirty Harry-watching brainwashed consumer media swine. Besides, I like buying violent, profane material from Wal-Mart just to reward them for being both hypocrites on “mature content” and pussies who fear the movie industry. OK, that’s enough out of me for now. Enjoy the rest of your happy ass, dead motherfucking pope-having day. Go watch some violent shit on TV and jerk off.