1. I saw a kid, probably somewhere between 12 and 14, trick-or-treating, wearing corpsepaint. It was too exact for it not to have been on purpose. He looked like Dead from Mayhem, minus the head wound. The head wound would’ve been a really nice touch, actually.

2. I saw a brand of dog treat, made for training, called “OBEY”. Don’t believe me? Look:

I know some folks in the BDSM community who are going to be all over this shit, if they aren’t already.

I really think it’s high fucking time that Rage Against The Machine got back together and toured.

I’m eating a bowl of cereal, half Count Chocula, half Franken Berry. SPEEDBALLING. I’d have put the Boo Berry in too, but I ate the entire box RAW. Yay, decadence.

Best sex ed film ever. Discuss.

(P.S. Only watched part of it on the toilet.)

CELEBRATE, FOR GOD’S SAKE!

Hands up if you saw it.

Hands up if you thought it was, like Rent, a totally halfassed, bastardized Disneyfication of a subculture.

Just once, I’d like to see someone who’s trying to tell this kinds of story get it right. It’s like everyone who tries to encapsulate a place and time in the New York that used to exist before Giuliani and 9/11 has lost the plot. No one seems capable of really nailing the grit and sleaze and “last night before the end of the world” vibe that permeated so many corners of New York subculture without making it glossy and quirky and cutesy, and it’s frustrating, because I don’t want to have to write things like this, but the stories need to be told and they aren’t being told in a genuine and authentic manner. To be honest in my appraisal of my abilities, I don’t think I’d nail it either. I know what some things are and were like, and I know what I’d want to see, but I wasn’t close enough to the subject matter to make people who were there feel like they are there again upon reading or seeing or hearing it, and unlike some folks, I’d want to accomplish that more than I’d want to con middle America. I’d rather see people who are more uniquely qualified than I am tell the stories, but they’re not. Again, frustrating.

Also, why do people who create things like this have such a fucking Jim Steinman fixation? Jesus. That shit has no place in this kinda work.

Here’s the skinny:

Get Precious
performing at Dead City Disco
with Uniform, Black Ice, and Shock Mobatta
Sunday, 10/23/05
Dingbatz, 620 Van Houten Ave., Clifton, NJ

If I want to, I can watch Eraserhead on the toilet.

Man, that’s some cold-blooded shit.

…is a place, not too far from where I live, that’s almost always open, where people I like and people I don’t know yet but would like if I met them can go, hang out, dance, sing, eat, drink (but not get drunk; I’m just not interested in that lifestyle anymore), talk, listen, be stars, be anonymous, buy things, sell things, connect, and disconnect. It sounds ambitious, but it also sounds like a natural evolution of the general store to me.

All I need now is a ton of money and people who are willing to patronize such an establishment.

One of the best albums of ‘05, and a fantastic outing for them. Great songs, totally *them*, but totally fresh. HIGHLY recommended.

Unlike a week or so ago, I seem to have gotten one through without it bouncing! Here’s what I said to Mr. Guillen (who, for those of you just joining us, is the manager of the AL Central Champion Chicago White Sox, and apparently encourages email correspondence):

To: Ozzie Guillen
From: Scott Crawford
Subject: The Playoffs

Dear Ozzie,

I tried sending you an email before the season finished, asking you to dispose of the Red Sox by way of keeping them out of the playoffs. Unfortunately, the Indians didn’t cooperate, so they made it in. However, yesterday was a good step in the right direction. Please continue to instruct your team to do what they did yesterday to the Red Sox over and over again until they go away. FOREVER.

Thanks in advance,
Scott Crawford
Webmaster, My Big, Black Cock.
http://www.mybigblackcock.com/

P.S. As I said in my first email, which didn’t get through: kudos on having such an excellent Topps rookie card.”

So I’m just going to link to a picture. Yes, I’m just going to link to it, because it wouldn’t do justice to the subject matter to resize it. It needs to be seen in its natural state. Go on, look at it. LOOK AT IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Have you had enough yet, or are you thirsty for more?”

Wow.

*applause*

Hippocamp Ruins “Pet Sounds”

Mighty interesting listenin’.