Even though I write plenty of obituaries, I never enjoy doing it. It’s always kinda sad and just something I do out of some sense of duty, and maybe a hope that the people who read about the people we’ve lost will get an inkling of what made the people we’ve lost so special. I’m not quite sure how well I do at that, but enough about me, let’s talk about Pat Morita, since I’m sure that at least a few of you are wondering what I’ll have to say about him.

The thing I always think of first when I think of Pat Morita is the year 1993. We had cable in my house, like most people, and for some reason, maybe because it was relatively new, maybe because the cable companies got a deal on the broadcast rights to it, but “Karate Kid Part III” was on constantly. It was just one of those movies that they showed on cable all the time, I’m sure you know the type. As a result of this, I started happening upon it here and there, and being that Pat Morita was in it as Mr. Miyagi, who I liked so much in the first “Karate Kid” (though I felt that the second one was a real drag for some reason, not by any fault of Pat’s, though; there could’ve been too much Peter Cetera on the soundtrack or something), I’d leave it on from wherever it was in the movie. The plot wasn’t great or anything, but basically, if Pat Morita was on my TV screen as Mr. Miyagi, I was happy, and this episode of the Karate Kid saga, if you will, had a lot of great Mr. Miyagi moments in it.

After a while, I finally saw it from the beginning. And then, I saw it again. And again. And again. Soon, I found myself looking at the TV Guide to case out when it would be on next, and began scheduling my personal and professional lives not to conflict with “Part III”, as it was known to me at this time. I grew to know the movie by heart (I’m a little rusty on it these days, though; I need to upgrade my VHS copy to a DVD soon), to the point where, in what was probably simultaneously one of the funnier and more cruel moments of my entire life (I really wasn’t a very nice person then), I had a post-breakup “Why do you hate me?” conversation with someone, and never responded to them directly for the entire duration of the conversation (at least not that I can recall). I only answered them with quotes from the movie as it was happening. I had it on in the background as the conversation was in progress, was quoting it as it was happening, and strangely, all of it seemed to fit the context of the conversation. It’s somewhat embarrassing in retrospect, mostly because I have a hard time separating “the joke” from the people at the other end of it now, but it’s also one of the enduring memories of my past, and it also serves as a testament to just how into this movie I was.

Even above and beyond that exercise in inane behavior, I always found Pat Morita to be an immensely entertaining, talented guy, especially in the “Karate Kid” series (no slight to his work on “Happy Days” and elsewhere, but we all bond with our characters and stories and albums and such), and Mr. Miyagi character will always be one of the pop culture icons who I hold nearest to my heart. I honestly have trouble getting through a day without quoting him in some context or another. He gave me a lot of joy, and he’ll be greatly missed. I’m going to go sing “Japanese Blues” now.

Have any of you ever seen “Muriel’s Wedding”? Fantastic movie. Anyway, at one point in the film, without giving away too much, Muriel talks about her life being as good as an ABBA song. With that concept in mind, I hereby resolve to at least try to live every last moment of my life not so it’s as good an ABBA song, but rather so it’s as as big and loud and explosive as “In The Flesh?” by Pink Floyd, from “The Wall”. Laugh if you want, it really is a bit of an awful cliche, but regardless, if you really want to get it, turn the song up as loud as you possibly can and think of me.

…this Christian Science Monitor article on world hunger by NYC Marathon mens’ winner Paul Tergat was a decent read. A lot of what Tergat says, eloquent as he is here, amounts to “stuff we already know and don’t do nearly enough about” but at the very least, it was nice to read about how some of the aid people sent to Africa in the 80′s had some direct, positive impact. As I’ve watched the race over the past few years, I’ve often wondered how many of the runners from Ethiopia, Kenya and so forth are people that were directly impacted by the kind of famine that was talked about so much back then (and still exists now), and also wonder quite often if any of the high-publicity aid that was sent over there has positively affected people that I have some sort of connection with. It’s encouraging to hear that it did make a difference in at least this case.

(Thanks to Zal for sending this my way.)

As seen in Foenix’s LiveJournal, NASCAR Crock-Pots have arrived. Foenix goes on to tell us about a posting he saw somewhere that said “At long last, NASCAR Crock-Pots!”, and it makes me wonder when Matt Groening’s writing team got fired and started writing ad copy. That’s kind of like:

“At long last, the Idi Amin vibrator!”

Or something.

I’ll be back later. I need to start packing the fucking ark.

A dear friend of mine, who would probably be mortified if I mentioned her name here, so I won’t, and I used to kid about something years ago that I’m amazed I’ve never written about here or elsewhere, so I’ll mention it now (since I’ve been thinking about it lately), and hope that no one with feisty lawyers has written about it before:

The “3″ button from Verizon’s voicemail system, applied to real life.

Whenever someone starts talking about some shit you don’t want to hear, you should be able to just say or think “3!” and have them shut up, the way you can when you’re listening to your voicemail on Verizon’s system and you delete a message that’s in the progress of playing. You just hit that 3 button, and you don’t have to hear another second of whatever it is that you don’t want to hear. Actually, sometimes, I do just think it whenever someone is talking that I really don’t want or need to hear.

“3!”

It’s so simple, but it does seem to help a little. I should do it more often.

3!

Will one of you that I can cope with just fucking hurry up and fall in love with me, so I don’t have to think about this shit anymore?

Thanks In Advance,
-S

“Heating elements aren’t shelves.”

…is anyone else having trouble logging in and/or leaving comments here? Email me if so, and describe the error message you’re receiving in the email.

Well, it’s abbreviated this year.

The short version:

I voted, and you should too. If you had the opportunity to vote and you missed it, you suck.

As I told a Quinnipiac poller earlier this week, I don’t like either Jon Corzine or Doug Forrester because I think they’re both kinda sleazy, but Forrester’s the sleazier of the two from what I understand of things, so I kept my word to vote for Corzine “unless he gets caught in bed with a 12 year old boy before Tuesday”. He hasn’t, has he?

Also of note: New Jersey had an question on the ballot about the establishment of a lieutenant governor. We didn’t have one? Who knew? Sure, we’ll have to pay the bastard (or bitch, if we’re to stay gender-neutral here), but we could’ve probably avoided this whole ugly race between the two millionaire sleazeoids if we had one in place when Jim “I Love Mah Dead Gay Governor” McGreevey stepped down. I could be naive or missing something here, and Connecticut residents, feel free to chime in if I am, but it would seem that Jodi Rell is doing a passable job since she came into the job after serving as lieutenant governor because her boss was a dipshit. C’mon, I see you dailykos types in the corner, masturbating feverishly to Bush’s approval ratings…speak up!

In the only other political race I’ve heard much about this time out (I know there’s another gubernatorial race going on…there it is, Nevada…as long as the Mayor of Las Vegas isn’t running, Nevada will probably survive…Edit: someone slipped me roofies earlier, it was actually Virginia…oops…), according to current poll numbers, Michael Bloomberg should not only repeat as Mayor of New York despite all that stupid Olympic/Wes’siyeeeed Stadium nonsense, but I hear that he and his staff are going to TP Freddie Ferrer’s house after he beats him, ring his doorbell, and when he comes out, give him the HUGEST WEDGIE EVER. It’s that lopsided, people.

That’s all I got for now, people. If you’re in a time zone other than mine and the polls are open, GO FUCKING VOTE!

Ahhhhhh, one of my favorite days of the year. In a little over an hour, the ING New York City Marathon begins. For those who are joining us for the first time, every year, on the first Sunday in November, I sit in front of the television all morning yelling “RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111″. And, as I do this, I keep you all up to date on what I see. Of anything I write on this site, this is probably the thing I do “for me and only me” the most, as I’ve never had anyone take me aside and say that they loved my marathon coverage, or gained an interest in either the NYC Marathon or long-distance running in general as a result of my marathon coverage, but fuck all y’all, I write it anyway, and will continue to do so.

For those wondering what the field looks like, here are the previews of the mens’, womens’ and wheelchair races. Very strong field in mens’ race this year, definitely one to watch.

The weather looks like it’ll be an unseasonably warm 70-ish degrees in New York, which should make for rough going, especially in the later miles.

The race is underway for folks with disabilities, and the next gate time is 9:05 AM for the wheelchair participants, 9:15 for the handcycles, 9:35 for the professional women, and 10:10 for the field (including the professional men).

I’ll be back in a little while with the start of the proper race coverage (right now, politicians are wasting valuable network airtime on Meet The Press).

9:05: The wheelchairs are off!!!

RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!

…er…

WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!

9:24 AM: Wheelchairs are at the 5 mile mark, and one of the favorites, Saul Mendoza, is MIA from the lead pack. WHEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEL!!!!!!!!!!11111 Also, for some reason, they didn’t show the handcycle start on TV. ‘Supwitdat? OK, the 5 Borough Challenge competitors just started (RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!), so we’ve got our first pack of non-disabled runners on the course. No updates yet on the disabled runners, though! Personally, I’d like to see what those folks are up to! Hopefully we’ll check in with them later.

9:35: Masses heading toward the starting line, and the elite women are just about to start. Tons of fog on the Verrazano Narrows Bridge, which is always cool to see, but a bitch to drive in. Elite women being introduced now…is it bad form to mention that womens’ favorite Susan Chepkemei has a wicked cameltoe? Oops, too late. OK, here we go…RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

9:50: Saul Mendoza still missing from the front of the wheelchair pack. Where’d he go? Back to the starting line at Ft. Wadsworth in Staten Island (home of G.I. Joe’s base “The Pit”), where Jane Hanson (who’s had a LOT of work done) interviews a dude from ING. Tons of people in position at the starting line now. Can’t wait for the big start. The elite women are coming off the Narrows now, and NBC-4 reporter Mike Adamle is totally bootlegging here and running with their pack! Give the ladies some space, you sicko!

10:00: Men’s wheelchairs are coming out of Queens into Manhattan already! Elite women are down to a pack of 8. Everyone else is in position out in Staten Island. Me, I’m on the couch. One of these years…

10:01: If you’ve been looking for the MIA mile-by-mile coverage link on the main marathon page, here it is.

10:05: Still foggy on the Narrows. 37,000 at the starting line. 4 miles in, Liz Wu is in the lead among the women, who have caught up to those 5 Borough Challenge slackers. ;)

10:10: Elite men being introduced now. Meb Keflezighi has a nice pair of shades on that probably won’t last 10 miles, unfortunately. World record holder Paul Tergat looks like the man to beat this year, if you ask me. He looks focused and confident. Nice rendition of the national anthem here. Bruce Beck, quit sticking mics in the face of the guys who are about to start, y0! OK, it’s time…get ready…and…

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Best of luck to all in the race!

10:16: Wheelchairs are down to a pack of 4, 2 minutes ahead of course record pace. World record holder Ernst Van Dyk is in the lead, lookin’ strong. Back at the starting line, people are still takin’ off, the sun’s finally starting to peek out, and, wait, what’s this? There are apparently 2 guys in dinosaur suits attempting to run the marathon! Jesus.

10:22: The elite women are 7 miles into the race, in Williamsburg if I’m not mistaken. Watch out for the hipsters, girls!

10:28: The bridge is full! In the mens’ race, theyre about 4 miles in, Ramaala and Keflezighi among the lead pack. Men hovering around 4:40-ish on their miles.

10:39: Wheelchair race is just about done, Ernst Van Dyk of South Africa is still haulin’ ass at a record pace. Man, the guy just won a marathon in Japan a week ago, stopped home in South Africa, and came to New York. More power to ‘em. Here he comes through Central Park. This one’s in the bag for him. And it’s official, Ernst Van Dyk, 1:31:11, with Kurt Fearnley of Australia in 2nd place, 18 seconds behind him, and Kelly Smith of Canada about 16 behind him. Congrats to Van Dyk on the win, and all on a solid effort.

Men’s pack is at mile 6, Kariuki and Kibet, both of Kenya, keep swapping leads. Ramaala, last year’s winner, in 3rd.

10:51: Women are halfway in, just about out of Brooklyn on the Pulaski Bridge, nice 2:30 pace or so, Hilda Kibet, Liz Yelling and Bruna Genovese are leading. Men are at mile 8, same top 3 as last time we checked.

10:57: Womens’ wheelchair race is just about a wrap. Results as soon as I get ‘em. The official site’s reporting an unusually loose mens’ pack, which they feel may prevent some of the big collisions you see in the race. Fog still over Manhattan, providing cooler than expected conditions.

11:00: Edith Hunkeler of Switzerland, last years’ winner, looks like she’ll repeat, with Christina Ripp from the States finishing 2nd. That one’s a wrap, 1:54:50, with Edith lookin’ like she could go another 26.2! Very enthusiastic, congrats to her!

11:05: Paul Tergat’s hanging in the very back of the lead pack, and according to NBC, the rest of the pack is very, very afraid. Women are on the 59th St. Bridge, coming into Manhattan for the first time. Kibet’s apparently going to drop out after the bridge, so we could see a change in the dynamic of the womens’ race on 1st Ave., who are preparing to go batshit crazy when the women leave the bridge.

11:11: Meb Keflezighi’s lookin’ strong in the mens’ pack, and he’s still got his shades! Women on 1st Ave. now, Petrova/Genovese/Grigoryeva.

11:17: Men are on the Pulaski Bridge, and Meb’s up to 3rd now, with the top two being the same. Tergat’s in the back of the lead pack next to Ramaala (who looks like he’s in trouble), cool as a cucumber, almost stalking the others.

11:21: Womens’ race is gettin’ all kinds of interesting. Ludmila Petrova leading now (heck of a story there, she’s a past winner who lost her husband earlier this year), with Kipligat and Chepkemei making strides, swapping positions.

11:25: Meb (still with shades) and Italy’s DiCecco both making a break for it as they get started on the 59th St. Bridge. Meb’s just keeping an eye on DiCecco, who’s basically committing suicide with the break he’s making.

11:30: DiCecco’s lost some of his lead, but he did manage to break up the pack some, lead mens’ pack is about 7. DiCecco, Ramaala (was he playing possum?), Keflezighi, Cheruiyot and wouldn’t you know it, Tergat, just about onto 1st Avenue. Onto 1st now, Ramaala and Cheruiyot making a huge break for it, with Meb in 3rd, a good deal behind the rabbits.

11:36: Huge surges going on here on 1st, very questionable strategy by the leaders this early. Womens’ lead pack down to 4.

11:38: Meb leading, Tergat catching up to the rabbits; women down to 3, Chepkemei leading now.

11:40: Been a while since I’ve said it. RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

11:48: Chepkemei and Tulu have turned this into a 2 woman race as they approach Central Park, about 25 minutes from the end of the race. Kosgei pretty far back in 3rd. Mens’ pack is still 4 guys, very tight pack though. Still Meb, Ramaala, Cheruiyot and Tergat. Back to the womens’ race, Chepkemei is losing her lunch trying to outpace Tulu, literally. Prokopcuka of Latvia with a late surge to 2nd!

11:52: Chepkemei showing us some real mettle, not only recovering from vomiting up a lot of fluid, but still holding the lead. Tulu fading. Prokopcuka looking like a shark, and she could easily burst past Chepkemei with less than 2 miles remaining.

11:56: Prokopcuka and Chepkemei still neck and neck, as are the 4 lead men, all lookin’ healthy.
Women finishing soon.

12:00: Prokopcuka and Chepkemei, close, Prokopcuka is in first, starting to pull away just slightly, Chepkemei looking gassed unfortunately (she’s becoming quite the bridesmaid with a lot of 2nd place finishes). Can she pull one more surge out of thin air? Women on about a 4:31-4:32 pace. Prokopcuka hauling ass now, I think she’s got it in the bag. RUUUUUUUUNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

12:04: Jelena Prokopcuka wins the NYC Marathon at 2:24:40, the first Latvian to win the NYC Marathon! Congrats to her! Chepkemei at about 2:24:56 in an incredibly gutsy performance that has to be a heartbreaker for her, and Tulu at 2:25:20, also with a very solid effort, but never quite a lead effort. Could this foreshadow Paul Tergat’s day, as he’s been in the lead pack all day, but not the lead?

12:08: The men are in Central Park, and it’s a pack of 3 now, with Cheruiyot falling back. Meb, Tergat, and Ramaala, all with tons at stake. Tergat finally in the lead, with Ramaala and Keflezighi behind. Ramaala is looking like he’s laboring again, so this could go anywhere, still only about 2 yards between 3 runners. 2 miles to go. Meb’s starting to slow down a little.

12:13: Ramaala now making another surge, Tergat holding steady with him, and Meb starting to slack at about 5 meters off. Ramaala is still surging. He is a madman. Meb’s turning it up now, too!

12:16: 1 mile left. Meb surging to answer the others, maybe 3 meters back. Ramaala just a bit ahead of Tergat, who still looks like he did when he left Staten Island. Meb fading again. Ramaala and Tergat both turning it up on the last mile as they’re heading toward the final turn into the park.

12:18: Tergat 2 steps ahead of Ramaala as they turn into the park! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Meb’s dropped out of it. RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ramaala even again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111 RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111 RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111111111111 TERGAT!!!!!!!!111 RAMAALA!!!!!!!!!!!!!1111111111 RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111111111111 RUN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TERGAT WINS!!!!!!!1111 Ramaala collapses at the line, less than a second behind Paul Tergat, who wins at 2:09:30. Meb finishes 3rd, 2:09:56. Incredible finish!!!!!!!!! P.S. Meb kept his sunglasses.

12:38: Damn it all to hell, friggin’ telephone kept me from the womens’ awards ceremony.

12:47: Keith Hoell of Queens is looking like he’ll win the Five Borough Challenge, with a mile left. That leaves “the rest of us” still to cross the finish line. Still no sign of the guys in dinosaur costumes.

Tergat’s being interviewed right now. He looks like the happiest man on Earth right now. Definitely a smart runner, and as he said here, he ran his own race rather than one against the pack for most of the marathon, so he had plenty left when he had to bang heads with Ramaala, who it should be said again is a maniac, totally gutsy guy who would’ve died to win.

12:50: Mens’ awards given out. Still totally spazzing on that finish, which was one of the best finishes you’re likely to see in any sport.

12:56: Mike Adamle interviewing a blind runner. Great stuff, so many stories like these of pure guts out there on the course. Keith Hoell just won the 5 Borough Challenge. Man, that was a rough last mile or so for him, I guess. And now, two crazy Swedes, who are taking a break from running by hanging out with their family. Goddamn it, can we stop with the Thundersticks already, though? What a terrible, terrible invention those are.

1:09: Hey, Vanessa Carlton’s out there somewhere, running. I wonder if she has bodyguards running with her like Diddy did.

1:15: 2 kids from Germany near the finish line, waiting for their dad, Udo. Wow, how cool would it be if it was Udo Dirkschneider? His son did say that he’d kick his dad’s ass if he didn’t finish, so it could be!

1:31: They weren’t dinosaurs…they were rhinos, running in rhino costumes for the Save The Rhino cause. And they were just spotted on 1st Ave. :D

1:54: Guys in gold sequinned kimonos. Guys in cow suits. Marriage proposals at the 18 mile marker (she said yes). Dads running in the race to honor their sick kids and raise money for other sick kids. It’s said so often, and it’s beyond cliche now, but as the clock hits 3:39 on the official race and the live coverage is just about done, there are just so many goddamned stories in this marathon, every year. Always a good time and an honor to bring my perspective on it to y’all every year. Here’s hoping you’ll be back here with me next year.

The words “success” and “failure” were created by people who wanted to make other people feel like assholes.