Baby Jessica got married.

Now I’ll never get to hit that!

(Geoff Precious: please, for the love of God, give this man anal!)

Passaic, NJ- Geoff Precious, lead singer of the New Jersey-based Get Precious, is still not giving or receiving anal sex after a year in his current relationship. When My Big, Black Cock’s reporters contacted Mr. Precious, his only comment was “I’m workin’ on it.” We will provide you with more details on this story as they become available.

“I am fucking outraged,you fucking cunts and pricks have stolen money out of my account, about $40,000 is missing .I will fucking kill you if you dont return it”

Answer in comments here. Details forthcoming.

This is a slideshow of reaction shots, all people seeing goatse for the first time. No goatse viewing involved at all. This work of sheer genius has been brought to my attention by an anonymous benefactor. That is all.

Story here. Though it seems that all the wires have the facts wrong about his finish in New York, among other things, the point is that he’s giving Boston a shot after just hauling ass here 2 months ago.

Meb may or may not win one of these big races, but you can’t help but admire this guy’s guts. He enters every goddamn race he can. I bet he does New York in November, too. Guy sure knows how to give’r. All the best to him.

Someday, maybe soon, maybe not, someone’s going to take a good, long look at the crazy things I do, and they’re going to say “Scott, I love you” and mean it the way I want them to mean it.

Happy 2006, everyone. I’ll be back this week.