As you may have seen on the sidebar of the Cock, I’m testing out a new payment service. Revolution Money Exchange is a new PayPal competitor. No transfer fees, FDIC insured, and perhaps best of all, not PayPal. I’d prefer it if you use it instead of PayPal when making donations for the time being (though I’ve left the PayPal button up for those who are skeptical of upstarts), and I’ll even include a signup link. (Disclaimer: I get a $10 referral bonus if you do, but I think you guys also get some cash for signing up, so do it.)

For those wondering, allergies and a re-aggravation of the splints have kept me out of my shoes since Wednesday. I’m looking to get out there again as soon as it makes sense. Hopefully, this doesn’t mess up my chances for the Deal 5K, but if it does, it does. There are 5Ks every weekend. I was looking forward to getting started, though. Stay tuned to this space for more details.

1992 Topps Double-Print Card 1

Check out the two examples of awesomeness I found in the back of my commons box, that I sent to The Baseball Card Blog’s Ben Henry. I got some nice stuff in exchange, too, and I figured the misprints would be of more use to the world at large if other people got to see ‘em.

All kinds of sleep issues and a little bit of fatigue kept me from my usual schedule, so it’s Wed./Fri./Sun. this week.

5 minutes walking
12 of the toughest minutes ever jogging, jeez that first hill in Holmdel is a bitch/2 minutes walking
9 minutes jogging (supposed to be 8, but I dogged it after that first hill so I made it up here)/2 minutes walking (supposed to be 1, but I was still dogging it)
probably about 9 minutes jogging here (made it to the 8 minute mark, kept going a ways to make up some more time, but forgot to check my watch at the end when I stopped to talk to some JSRC folk)/2 minutes walking back to my car

Total time: around 41 minutes for a 37 minute workout (damn, that hill makes my hill look like a speck of dirt)
Total mileage: 2.21 miles

The main course at the Wednesday evening JSRC run (which had about 5 other members that I know of aside from myself participating) is a pretty brutal 5K course, very hilly, and I did about 2/3 of it. I was totally gassed after that first hill, but evened things out so that my breath was actually stronger during the last third of my workout than the first two thirds. Shins took a beating because of all the hills, so I might not do that course more than once every few weeks, unless I make it to Friday with no ill effects.

And with that, we’ll talk more about this whole “running” thing then.

Went to the Sunday JSRC group run, just to see what that was all about. Rather than sticking to my normal day’s training, I freestyled. Ran out with the pack that left around 5 after 8, stayed with them until they were out of sight (it’s interesting how people who look like they’re exerting the exact same amount of effort, in the same form I have to at least my eye, can go so much faster than I can; not beating myself up about it, just observing…), and ran/walked as I felt like it in a loop course back to the park we started at. I’d say that I only ran maybe 15-20 minutes max of the course, but I’m cool with that because my legs have been a little sore this week, and even 15 minutes is way more than I was doing initially.

Total time: about an hour
Total mileage: 2.77 miles, but remember, a lot of that was walking, so don’t get too excited over the 6/10ths of a mile jump in distance.

My legs, while they were a little cranky over the weekend and in a few parts of the course, feel pretty much fine now. I got gassed early, running out with the pack, but finished strong, running a quarter mile to the park entrance at a pretty solid pace.

Stuck around for about an hour afterwards, bullshitting with some running club folks (very different crowd than I’m used to, but decent folks), then headed home.

Onto Tuesday.

5 minutes walking
10 minutes jogging/3 minutes walking
8 minutes jogging/2 minutes walking
6 minutes jogging/2 minutes walking

Total time: 37 1/2 minutes (I got to my door with about 25 seconds to spare on the last walk)
Total mileage: 1.95 miles

This one wasn’t bad, all things considered. I had some soreness before I started, and at about the midway mark of the 10 minute stretch, and I was a little spent on the last 6 (my breathing wasn’t great, but has certainly been worse, and I got some heavy feet on the 2nd to last hill), but this was pretty good, otherwise.

I do have to give a big “fuck you” to the idiot who was treating the big lawn of the park like his own personal driving range, though. Asshole kept teeing off with me and the running path in the direct path of his tee shot. For those of you who’ve ever wondered why I hate golf (really, it’s more about hating the people who enjoy it, kinda like I get with The Smiths), it’s elitist, entitled attitudes like this guy’s that do me in. There’s a reason why I throw the horns repeatedly during the country club scene in “Falling Down”.

That rant aside, we’re onto the next workout, which will either be Saturday or Sunday, depending on how my legs feel (like I said, a little soreness today).

Welcome to the 7th Annual Motherfucker Day, motherfuckers. For you motherfuckers who are late to the party, here is the story of Motherfucker Day, as it was written 7 years ago today:

“From this day forth, September 11th will be known to all people as “Motherfucker Day”. Motherfucker Day honors the word “motherfucker” as one of humanity’s greatest contributions to planet Earth.

To observe Motherfucker Day, all one needs to do is say “motherfucker” at the end of every sentence, or at least every sentence that you remember to end it with. For instance, “Can you please pass the salt, motherfucker?” Or, “I love you, motherfucker.”

You can also put up banners that say “motherfucker” at your home, workplace, school, or place of worship; write the word “motherfucker” on walls everywhere (if you get busted, simply tell the police “I’m no criminal, motherfucker!” They’re sure to understand, and let you go.); and, if you’re so inclined and they’re consenting, feel free to go ahead and fuck someone’s mother. Hell, they could probably use it. This is just a short list of ways to celebrate Motherfucker Day, and is by no means complete. If you can think of another way to celebrate Motherfucker Day, feel free to do it, and certainly feel free to tell us about it here!

That’s all for now. Hopefully, by issuing this decree to all of humanity, I’ve done something to make an otherwise ordinary day feel just a little more special and festive. Spread the word! Tell a friend! September 11th is Motherfucker Day! Enjoy your new holiday, motherfucker!”

5 minutes walking
7 minutes jogging/2 minutes walking x 2
8 minutes jogging/2 minutes walking
3 minutes jogging/2 minutes walking

Total time: 38 minutes and about 30 seconds (had to stop and tie my shoes once, and some dude stopped me running to tell me there was a deer in the woods up ahead; apparently, I don’t see that same deer in the same area every time I run now).

Total mileage: 2.17 Miles! Pretty sure that’s a new record for me, as I’ve only made it to that part of the course once before, and there was way more walking involved then.

This was a tough one, real tough, but I did it. Not much pain, either, save for the hill at the deepest part of the course. Tough breathing today, but I added a few minutes to my workout and some long, uninterrupted runs, and it’s also humid as all get-out due to the rain.

Onto Thursday (shorter, but more intense workout).

Man, that was tough.

5 minutes walking
4 minutes jogging/1 minute walking x 2
6 minutes jogging/2 minutes walking
8 minutes jogging/2 minutes walking (again, I needed to take 2 20 second breaks in this)
40 seconds jogging to make up the lost time

Total time: 38 minutes
Total mileage: same as Monday give or take, probably about 1.85 miles

I wasn’t 100% from Thursday when I started this one, but I didn’t have shin/calf pain during the run, just really heavy feet. It was also ungodly humid out there today, without any heat to speak of, so it was a really hostile running environment. Despite all that, breathing was pretty good until the last half of the last jog. I technically didn’t get all of my first minute walking because I forgot to pee before I left the house and had to hit the men’s room at the ranger station before I did jog #2, so that probably had some impact. All in all, though, I put my week’s time in on this workout level and, with a little bit of smoke and mirrors, got through it.

Looking through my book, wow, I had the 8/2 and 6/2 backwards this week. That might’ve had something to do with why the runs were as tough as they were. I guess I will try next week’s workout level after all.

And with that, onward to Tuesday. One of these days, when I feel rested enough, I need to switch back to Mon./Wed./Friday runs. It works with what’s barely passing for a schedule in my life a little better.

In this game, I penetrated my own cunt with my dong. I’m not sure how I did it, but I’m glad that I did.

5 minutes walking
7 minutes jogging/2 minutes walking
5 minutes jogging/1 minute walking x 2
8 minutes jogging (I took 2 20 second breaks during this stretch, because I was *dying*)/2 minutes walking
Hey, extra time left (someday, I’ll nail that pacing)!
40 seconds jogging, just to keep it honest

Total time: 37 minutes
Total mileage: juuuuuust under 2 miles, still no pedometer battery

This was a tough one. A little sore at the beginning of the day, so I wasn’t sure I’d be able to do it. Aside from my legs feeling a little heavy and stiff on the course, no pain. Tough to breathe today, especially during the home stretch, but it’s warm, humid and the sun’s out here, with very little in the way of shade for about half the course. I did make it this time, though, and go down to Monday’s levels on Saturday, so long as I’m not dying for the next 2 days from muscle wear.

So, onward to Saturday and the beginning of the next 50 runs.

5 minutes walking
4 minutes jogging/1 minute walking x 2
6 minutes jogging/2 minutes walking
8 minutes jogging/2 minutes walking

Total time: 33 minutes
Total mileage: I’m going to guess about 1.85 miles. Still no battery in the pedometer; this week. I did my usual 1.75-ish, then I had to do walking laps around my parking lot for the last 2 minutes. I will, someday, get the hang of measuring my runs evenly.

Stuck with the current level of workout. Wasn’t an easy run today, because I’ve had a workout and a half off since my last one, but the shin pain (for now) seems to be minimal and I’ve caught my breath already. We’ll see how I feel over the next 2 days, and then we’ll see how I feel during and after the longer workout that’s scheduled for 2 days from now, which was my undoing last week. That run will be my 50th, and I’m probably closing in on about 75 miles too (not all of it running, admittedly, but I’m gradually reaching the workout level where almost all of it is, and in marathoning, unless you’re an elite athlete, some of it’s going to be walking anyway). Pretty awesome, for someone who was quite recently an unathletic non-runner. That’s almost 3 marathons. Of course, it’s easy to run 3 marathons if you allow yourself 5 months to do it, but it’s a start.

Onward to Thursday.

We’ll miss you, Snowman.

Does anyone know if they ever made a porn adaptation of “Weekend At Bernie’s”?

If not, they should’ve.

Terry Kiser even looks like Joey Silvera. It’d totally work.

For starters, they want to save the childhood home of Jerry Siegel, where Superman was conceived in part (his partner, Joe Shuster’s home has already been demolished, sadly). From there…who knows? When dealing with people who have great imaginations and a big hearts, the sky isn’t the limit…it’s just the beginning.

For more information, go to Ordinary People Change The World.