I need new calves and shins.

5 minutes walking
3 minutes jogging/2 minutes walking x 2
3 minutes jogging

*sound of me hitting wall here*

15 minutes walking

Total time: 33 minutes
Total mileage: 1.67 miles

Definitely have to make some adjustments somewhere. More stretching, more cross-training, better diet, extra rest, pre-workout Vicodin, something. Breathing’s great, except when pain kicks in, which makes me labor more. Both calves and shins are giving me major shit right now. Today, it was more the right than the left. At least they match now, I suppose. If all goes well, I’ll have better health coverage within the next month or so, so I’m going to get very seriously looked at if I do.

We’ll see how I feel on Monday. (Wednesday, I missed because my entire course was a puddle of slush with an icy bottom.)

5 minutes walking
3 minutes jogging/2 minutes walking x 4
1 minute jogging (should be 4)

*sound of me hitting wall*

5 minutes walking

Total time: 31 minutes
Total mileage: 1.66 miles

Breathing was awesome. Even sung along with the iPod here and there, and probably scared the animals and old people in the park. Shins, both of ‘em, felt like horseshit, hence me stopping my last jog 3 minutes early. The only time I got close to winded at all was near the end, and it was mostly me breathing harder because the shins hurt. Iced ‘em when I got in, though, and they’re OK now.

Is anyone else alarmed that my walking and jogging times are near identical? I should just walk the damned marathon. =)

Onward to a hopefully pain-free Wednesday.

5 minutes walking
1 minute jogging/1 minute walking x 4
2 minutes jogging/2 minutes walking x 2

*sound of me hitting wall here*

7 minutes walking

Total time: 28 minutes (supposed to be 25)
Total mileage: 1.43 miles

Stretched my distance, but everything else kinda blew. Left leg bothered me through most of the run, my breathing wasn’t great, and I ran in colder weather than I was planning to. Wanted to go out later, as it’s supposed to warm up today, but I needed to get this in now, so’s I can go beg the gummint for money later. Yep, today, Friday, January 23rd, 2009 kinda sucks so far, and it’s not even 9 AM yet.

Onward to Monday, regardless.

5 minutes walking
1 minute jogging/1 minute walking x 4
2 minutes jogging/2 minutes walking x 2
1 minute jogging/1 minute walking
1 minute walking (needed a little extra rest today)
1 minute jogging/1 minute walking

Total time: 26 minutes
Total mileage: 1.38 miles

I was winded fairly easily, and I decided at about my second jog that I didn’t feel like being out in sub-20 degree weather, so it was a little bit of a drag today. Other than that, nothing to report, onto Friday, wash, spin, rinse, repeat.

5 minutes walking
1 minute jogging/1 minute walking x 4
2 minutes jogging/2 minutes walking x 2
1 minute jogging/1 minute walking x 2

Total time: 25 minutes
Total mileage: (more than) 1.28 miles (My pedometer has teh SARS or something. Seriously, I was probably at 1.35 to 1.4, going by what I know of my course.)

A balmy 30 degrees for my run today. This workout level took more out of me than I remember it doing, but I made it through on time. For the last 4 minutes’ running time or so, my right shin was burning pretty good, but the left one’s about where it usually is or better. Aside from that, not a lot to report, aside that my Russell hoodie’s a pain in the ass to run in right now, because the tab broke off the zipper and it kept opening.

Onward to Wednesday.

In honor of day 69, it was about 9 degrees outside, but probably felt like 6. I got it backwards.

5 minutes walking
1 minute jogging/1 minute walking x 7
5 minutes walking

Total time: 24 minutes (and I nailed it)
Total mileage: 1.3 miles

I think I did pretty good today. Had a scarf wrapped around and covering my face, so I felt like a ninja and stayed warm. My calf was back to that dull pain kinda thing, but it was giving me crap overnight, too, so it wasn’t the run that caused it, at least not this run. Breathed through my nose more than usual because of the face wrap, ran on snow for the first time in I don’t know how long (it was probably ’92, during the Everclear-fuelled snowball fight we had after my “We Piss On The Irish” party that St. Patrick’s Day), today’s run was good. Gonna need to go either with the track shorts, a full set of running tights or thermals if I’m running in this kind of cold again, though, because the backs of my legs got a little colder than I’d like them to be.

OK, weekend off. Starting again on Monday with the next workout level, conditions permitting. Let’s hope that this time through the levels is actually the charm. I’m really sick of the first 3 weeks of this routine.

It’s a little cold out there today. 17 degrees Fahrenheit as I type this.

5 minutes walking
1 minute jogging/1 minute walking x 7
5 minutes walking

Total time: 26 minutes (should’ve been 24, but Jesus, it was cold out there)
Total mileage: 1.35 miles

Things I noticed during my run:

I really don’t get cold during cold weather runs, except for around the bottom half of my face. I needs me a balaclava (that’s a ski mask, for you laymen), ideally one that doesn’t cover my whole head if I don’t want it to (I like hoods better, and I’d rather not have anything blocking off my peripheral vision any more than a hood does).

My breathing was pretty good today, because holy shit does air this cold open up a brother’s lungs. The left calf only gave me shit on the 4th and 5th jog, and it was a minor pinprick kind of a sensation in one part of it.

Interestingly, though, as I finished the workout, and for a couple minutes after, I had some tingling and numbness in my left lower leg. That’s new. Hope it doesn’t mean I’m dying or something. That’d kinda suck.

Anyway, onward to Friday and and the hotly-anticipated workout #69. We’re expecting a high of 17 on Friday, so it’ll probably be between 10 and 14 degrees for my run. Clearly, I am in need of assistance.

5 minutes walking
1 minute jogging/1 minute walking x 6
5 minutes walking

Total mileage: 1.14 miles (Lame…)
Total time: 22 minutes

Not much to report that you haven’t read already. Breathing was so-so, calf gave me intermittent, nagging shit, and it was cold, but not that cold. Onto Wednesday, when I will hopefully be awake.

The good: the cast and the plot.

The bad: the dialogue.

People don’t talk like that.

More pacing and realism, less ambition and “cleverness”. It’s like that problem Kevin Smith, Warren Ellis and Joss Whedon all have, where every word out of the characters’ mouths has to be THE MOST PROFOUND, BRILLIANT AND FUNNY THING ANYONE HAS EVER FUCKING WRITTEN IN THE HISTORY OF CIVILIZATION, so that even when they hit on a good note, you’re too exhausted to appreciate it in between all of the other noise. You could throw Aaron Sorkin and whoever writes “Gilmore Girls” on that list, too, though their issues are more like “third or fourth generation rip of the pacing from Dragnet” issues. Whedon’s kind of in that boat too, only he’s throwing Jack Webb in a blender with Chris Claremont and calling it good.

Also: the soundtrack made my testicles shrink a little when it wasn’t Sonic Youth, The Kinks or Mott The Hoople playing.

Don’t get me wrong. I did think it was a decent movie. It just wasn’t a great movie, and it could’ve been, which frustrates me more than when a movie sucks sometimes. I’m willing to grant Diablo Cody a little slack, because she’s new at this, Oscar or no, but if I were going to give any advice to her from one schmuck who’s never written a screenplay in his life to an Oscar winner, I’d tell her to slow down and listen more to how people, even people like the characters in her movie, actually talk. Some of that’s in the direction too, but most of it was writing.

…to mention the thing that sucked the most about 2008.

2008 didn’t suck. I did some cool stuff. I did some stuff that sucked. I didn’t do some other stuff.

Here’s some of the cool stuff that I did:

• I got back on the horse, and started up my court case again. It’s in progress, folks, so soon, I may be able to go from being a totally broke crazy artist/shut-in type to being a slightly less broke one.
• I started running, and joined a running club.
• I started watching football regularly, and it went well. I even won one of my fantasy football leagues, and placed second in the other.
• I read more books than I have in a long time, but still not quite enough.
• I watched a lot of movies, some even in the movie theater, which I don’t do usually. Amazing what one of them free movies on Tuesdays perks cards will do for a brother.
• I moved my club in Second Life twice, but it’s where it should be now, and you can fish there.
• I sold some of my stuff, and feel kind of OK about that.
• I’ve just about phased out the use of music CDs in daily life.
• I finally, after years of not putting a concerted effort into doing so, bought myself some new clothes.
• Despite being broke, I juggled resources around and got a little closer to finishing my bucket list of “stupid things I’d like to own before I die, so my heirs, if any, can be confused by them and have no idea what to do with them”.
• I also managed to see Nicole Atkins (twice), Van Halen, Iron Maiden, Killdozer, The Butthole Surfers, and Gibby Haynes solo, performing the works of the Butthole Surfers with the assistance of the Paul Green School Of Rock All-Stars (who also performed at the full Butthole Surfers show) over the course of the year. Most of these shows, I attended thanks to the generosity of others, who know who they are.
• I invested some of my meager savings in the stock market (around a hundred bucks, nothing huge), and with a notable exception here and there, I’m doing OK, even in these fuck-awful financial times.
• I met Ron Guidry, Dwight Gooden and George Shuba in Cooperstown, and I also got to have a brief, but enlightening discussion with Graig Nettles about Artie Lange.
• I watched Fidel step down and Barack step up.
• On that note, I also applied for a job in the Obama-Biden administration, which hopefully won’t mess with my court case. I did specifically say that I have a sleep disorder that prevents me from showing up anywhere on a regular basis in my application, so I think I’m OK there.
• Running counter to the “content should be everywhere” argument, I began the gradual removal of my writing and music from sites that I have ethical disagreements with. I’d rather have you folks visit me here anyway, because I know that if you do, you do it because you really want to, not because it’s convenient. Thanks for making the trip over.
• Despite my apprehension toward doing so these days, I performed in public very briefly, three times. Two of them don’t count because it was Best Buy and Rock Band II, but holy shit, did I rock the vocals on “Mountain Song” and “Man In The Box”.
• I passed the 10 years of not drinking mark. Save your chips, I’m good by myself.
• I got a copy of “Chinese Democracy”.
• I got to see some gay folks legally marry on the television, including George muthafuckin’ Takei. Hopefully, this Proposition 8 nonsense goes away soon and they don’t have to worry about being un-married by a bunch of kooks who think Britney Spears does a better job of preserving the sanctity of marriage than they do.
• I covered the NYC Marathon for the 8th consecutive year, and I even made friends with one of the folks I saw running it on the television this year. Thanks, Deb. You make me feel slightly better about the fact that Paul Tergat hasn’t added me back on Facebook yet. ;)

Here’s some of the stuff I did that sucked:

• I hurt my left shin while running after a month or two of running, and it nags the hell out of me. It doesn’t even really HURT. It just nags me.
• As I do every year, I had to write obituaries for way too many cool people. I’ll miss Gary Gygax, Albert Hofmann, George Carlin, Robert Hazard, Jerry Reed, Dock Ellis and many others whose obituaries I didn’t get around to writing.
• I had to listen to and look at Sarah Palin, the Clintons, and many other icky politicians way too much this year.
• As I do every year, I unfortunately had to distance myself from a handful of people who I feel are no good for me. I wish them no ill will and hope things go well for them, but for the preservation of my own quality of life, I needed to put them on the other side of the wall.
• I watched Yankee Stadium close. Man, fuck that noise. This new park better have little tongues built into the seats and be capable of reviving Yankee greats from the dead for all the trouble it’s caused.
• I had some migraines, a stomach virus, and probably at least one cold. I’ve gotta come up with a better plan for not having my head explode in November, because two out of the past three years, it has.

Here’s some of the stuff I didn’t do:

• I didn’t release my album yet.
• I’m not totally finished archiving all of my data. Most of it, yes, but not all of it.
• I didn’t get rich, or even get “not broke” yet.
• I didn’t fix my musical equipment that’s not working right. If I win my court case (and hopefully, I will, and promptly, but I’m not holding my breath yet), I may use a portion of the back check I’ll get to do this. Whether I’m sketched out by making music or not, having the tools to do so properly, even if they’re old, cheap tools that have been in use longer than some of you have been alive, is a quality of life issue for me.
• I didn’t figure out how to let go of grudges.
• I didn’t spend enough time in Philadelphia. I like that town.

There’s probably a bunch of other stuff in all of these categories, but I’ve gone on long enough.

For those wondering, I’ll keep it brief: this year, I hope to travel more, win a court case, run a marathon and outlive Jesus. If I outlive Jesus, I may even go to Disneyland.

Thanks for reading.

(Ron Asheton at Glastonbury 2007, photographer unknown.)

“When I was a young guy coming up, going to the Grande Ballroom every weekend, I got to see my heroes play. Jeff Beck, the Who, everyone. I didn’t want to be a fanboy, but I’d stand there and wait — ‘I just want to say hi, this was great.’ I saw them walk by me with blank stares like they were zombies. I said to myself, you know, if I ever make it, I’ve got at least one minute for everybody who wants to say something. So I talk to people, and that’s what’s exciting now.”

Thanks for the minute and the music, man. Whether the world got it or not, you helped change everything.

OK, onto a new year, enough of this fucking around.

5 minutes walking
1 minute jogging/1 minute walking x 6
5 minutes walking

Total time: 25 minutes (was supposed to be 22; have to figure out why my pace sucked, probably because I fail at counting.)
Total mileage: 1.33 miles

I went without my cell phone today, because it wasn’t charged. I absolutely hate to do that when I run, just in case, but I have to get back to work here. No pain until I was walking the last hill during my 5 minute walk home, and even that was minor and passed almost right away. Took my anti-inflammatory right after the run, so hopefully the swelling I spent weeks alleviating doesn’t come back in any real way. I feel slightly headachey, but that’s because I need to eat something I think, which I’ll do right after I shower. Tried out the track shorts underneath my jeans today. Didn’t make much of a difference, I don’t think, aside from making me feel like I was wearing tights. If I wear anything Lycra without an overgarment, I’m going to get arrested for indecent exposure, though. Holy male camel toe, or “camel tail”, as Seth calls it in “Superbad”. Yes, you all really needed to know how big my junk looks when I wear Lycra.

All in all, it wasn’t a pretty run, nor was it a long one (again, I figured it would be best to start from the beginning after the layoff; better to underdo it than to overdo it), but it was a run, and that’s the important part.

Onward to Wednesday, health permitting.