Some Stats For The Month

Posted in My Big, Black Cock. on May 31st, 2009 by Scott Crawford

Here’s what’s happened so far on the mp3 download front (updated to include all of May):

Sybil: 176
Ecstacy: 136
Sybil (Instrumental): 85
Untitled: 77
Sybil (version): 65
Chord: 61
Puppet: 42

Very surprised, thus far, that the alternate versions of “Sybil” are doing so well, especially the instrumental. For those wondering, the original is the one on the Propaganda video, “(version)” is the second mix that I did and preferred, as the vocals actually sound like Jaki on that mix, and “(Instrumental)” is so you can practice at home.

More of you need to download “Chord” and “Untitled”. They’re fun little numbers.

If you’re wondering, I’ve managed in a few short weeks to get “the ritual.” heard more than it was in 2 years of being on the for-pay download services, and I’m reasonably sure that I’ll kill the number of plays that music had on MySpace by the end of the summer. As for donations, which I mentioned not having gotten when I posted “Puppet”? I’ve gotten at least one since then. That’s all I’m at liberty to say, aside from “thank you very much” to anyone donating, and “keep those donations coming” to anyone who hasn’t yet.



Finally, if you’ve downloaded music, drop me a line here and let me know what you think of it, good or bad. If you haven’t yet, help yourself! It is free, after all.

Running/Injury Update

Posted in Training. on May 30th, 2009 by Scott Crawford

The official diagnosis, finally: Bursitis, Shin Splints and Tendonitis.

The doctor should’ve just busted out the ever-popular “AIDS Of The Knee” while he was at it.

I don’t half-ass this stuff, do I?

I’ve got a treatment plan in the works, but suggestions for how to deal with this, from people who’ve dealt with all of this before (especially if it’s been the same combo) are of course welcome and appreciated.

Free Music Volume Two: Scott Crawford’s “Puppet”

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., Scott Crawford's Free Music. on May 28th, 2009 by Scott Crawford

A lot of you downloaded or listened to every track on my last release in the first week, despite my releasing “the ritual.” to very little fanfare. No donations yet, but I’m sure you’ll get around to it. Regardless of my not making my first million yet, I am happy, as the music is being heard.

With that in mind, I’m releasing another song, under the license below (which *should* be valid for all future Scott Crawford releases, barring any complications):

Creative Commons License

Puppet by Scott Crawford is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at: http://www.mybigblackcock.com/

This means you can play it on commercial and non-commercial radio, remix it, copy it for your friends, put it on your web site, whatever, as long as I am properly credited, this license information is included wherever you choose to put my music, and, if you sample it, remix it, etc., your music containing any part of my music must be released under this same license unless you contact me specifically to negotiate other terms that I agree to.

Anyway, without further ado, here’s the song, in both 320k MP3 and WAV format. (Sorry, FLAC nerds, but you’ll just have to convert your own. Consider it your punishment for the years of y’all being snobby to people on torrent sites, while posting “lossless” copies of things like Sammy Hagar albums. As I’ve said in the past, “When you post Sammy Hagar albums to torrent sites, EVERYBODY loses”.)

Puppet: 320k MP3 | WAV

Right-click these files (or Control-click them, on a Mac) and go to “Save as…” to save them. If you want to play them first to hear how they sound, click the play buttons next to the mp3 versions of each song.

If my bandwidth takes a hammerin’ from all this fun, I may also post links to .torrent files, so you can help spread the load around, but let’s learn to crawl first.

Cover art for this single will be posted here as soon as possible. I know I said that about “the ritual.” too, but I haven’t been feeling Photoshoppy this week. Soon, my pets.

In the meantime, a little bit of explaining and some lyrics. “Puppet” was written in May of 2006 (Corrected, thanks, Laura. -S), over the course of about a week, maybe a week and a half. I know that it was done in 2 band practices, and performed for the first time about 5 days later. It’s been performed live a small handful of times, though I don’t think any live recordings exist. It’s probably my favorite of my songs thus far. I had Rozz Williams and Alice Cooper pretty firmly in mind when it started to take shape, though the big finish is kinda Brendan Perry. Not sure how I got from point A to point B there. Guitars were performed by Kage Hopkins. If you decide to donate based upon the merits this song, please say so in a note on your donation (there’s a box on the PayPal form), as not only will it give me an idea of what’s driving people to donate, but it’ll also remind me to kick some of it to Kage.

Puppet
by Scott Crawford

I’m a puppet
Pull my strings
Do you like the way I shake that thing?
Wanna take you for a little ride
Don’t you worry
I won’t come inside you

Everybody thinks I’m quite insane
Me, I think they’re rather inhumane
Watch the way they rip each other apart
It makes great television…but is it art?

Just like all the others, you will outgrow me
Always looking, like a fool, for what will set you free

Puppet in a pile of misfit toys
Fading signal in a sea of noise
Shards of my predecessors in my feet
Still expecting me to keep the beat

The show is over now
The laughter fades
It was an ugly little masquerade
No idea what tomorrow will bring
I want to follow you
Can’t cut my strings

When you close your eyes, and you look away
It may sound like “go to hell”, but I’m begging you to stay

I’m begging you to stay
I’m begging you to stay
I’m begging you to stay
Please don’t go away

Aw, c’mon, don’t you wanna play?

From here, I’ll be continuing to compile and finish up what I have of “babykiller.” and the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.abortion record and releasing them (possibly as part of the same record; for some reason, I still hear the alt.abortion material in my head as part of the Scott Crawford live set). I probably won’t record any new tracks that I haven’t already, not yet, anyway, but I may tweak a few (For example, the vocal track on “If I Could” needs some serious help). I will probably also throw some bonus tracks up as I go through my archives and find stuff that doesn’t really fit anywhere else. Stay tuned!

While I’ll be doing all of this free of any kind of mandatory charge, and I think I’m going to move forward with that plan for the rest of the time I’m making music, donations of any size above $1.00 USD (below that, and PayPal fees make your donation kind of useless, sadly; if you want to give me less than a dollar, do it in person) are greatly appreciated. Donations will enable me to compensate the people who work on this music with me as best I can, as well as perform much-needed repairs and upgrades on my aging home studio. Ideally, this will result in more music being made and released, though I’m trying to take this music thing one tiny act at a time these days. In the meantime, thanks in advance for your continuing support, as well as for all the support you’ve given my music and I over the years. As always, if you have any questions about this release or anything else, suck@mybigblackcock.com.



Best Idea For A Super Power I’ve Ever Thought Of

Posted in My Big, Black Cock. on May 23rd, 2009 by Scott Crawford

Pee that smells like Febreeze.

Like, you pee, and it smells like Febreeze, but it’s actually still urine.

Think of the things you could get away with!

Free Music Volume One: Scott Crawford’s “the ritual.”

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., Scott Crawford's Free Music. on May 16th, 2009 by Scott Crawford

After much thought, I’ve decided to begin releasing and re-releasing my music for free. The first of these releases is “the ritual.”, which I am re-releasing under the license below (which *should* be valid for all future Scott Crawford releases, barring any complications):

Creative Commons License

the ritual. by Scott Crawford is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 United States License.

Permissions beyond the scope of this license may be available at: http://www.mybigblackcock.com/

This means you can play it on commercial and non-commercial radio, remix it, copy it for your friends, put it on your web site, whatever, as long as I am properly credited, this license information is included wherever you choose to put my music, and, if you sample it, remix it, etc., your music containing any part of my music must be released under this same license unless you contact me specifically to negotiate other terms that I agree to.

If you’ve already purchased the record via iTunes, Amazon or somewhere else, awesome, thanks! Know that the lion’s share of that money went toward keeping this site up and running, while I was deciding what to do with my life. Despite the new “free” policy, I’ll probably be leaving my music up on those sites for at least the time being, because they’re good databases to be in, and because I’m paid up through at least next January. In the meantime, know that as long as this site’s up, you won’t have a problem re-acquiring the songs if you lose your original files somehow (hard drive crash, accidental deletion, you decide they suck but then change your mind, whatever). I’ve also still got CDs available for sale on lulu.com, for those of you who want to support the cause and have a physical CD without rolling your own.

If y’all have purchased or plan on purchasing my music from iTunes, Amazon, Lulu, etc. despite it being here for free now, it’d be cool if you guys could leave me (hopefully positive) reviews on any of the sites you’ve purchased my music from (my listings are linked in my sidebars), mentioning that the files are now available for free here! Yes, I’ve gone insane.

Anyway, without further ado, here’s the record, in both 320k MP3 and WAV format. (Sorry, FLAC nerds, but you’ll just have to convert your own. Consider it your punishment for the years of y’all being snobby to people on torrent sites, while posting “lossless” copies of things like Sammy Hagar albums. As I’ve said in the past, “When you post Sammy Hagar albums to torrent sites, EVERYBODY loses”.)

01. Ecstacy: 320k MP3 | WAV
02. Untitled: 320k MP3 | WAV
03. Sybil: 320k MP3 | WAV
04. Chord: 320k MP3 | WAV
05. Sybil (version): 320k MP3 | WAV
06. Sybil (Instrumental): 320k MP3 | WAV

Full “the ritual.” record in ZIP file: 320k MP3 | WAV

Right-click these files (or Control-click them, on a Mac) and go to “Save as…” to save them. If you want to play them first to hear how they sound, click the play buttons next to the mp3 versions of each song.

High-quality cover art, including tray card and disc label, will be completed and posted here as soon as possible.

In the meantime, here’s what I wrote in the liner note for the 2006 release of “the ritual.”, as well as an image file of the front cover:

“In 1994, Scott Crawford recorded “the ritual.”, a commissioned work for Fred H. Berger’s Propaganda Videozine #3. 12 years later, the work has finally been removed from the vaults and released. During that time, many have wondered why it didn’t get released right away (that part is a story for another day), and some even went as far as to hook a tape recorder to their VCRs to bootleg the audio from the original videotape!

This release, including “Sybil (version)”, a never-before-heard outtake from the sessions for “the ritual.”, would not have been possible without the following individuals: Fred H. Berger (who commissioned the pieces that became “the ritual.” in the first place), Jacqueline Loversidge-Barclay (who literally bled for the transcendent vocals you hear on both versions of “Sybil”), Skylab Studios (who were accommodating despite this clearly not being their kind of project), Ted Wohlsen at Cook Street Sound (who graciously handled the transfer of the recording from the original DAT), and Miranda Padgett, who finally drove home the point that yes, maybe people really did want to own a copy of this music.”

(Higher quality image file here)

If my bandwidth takes a hammerin’ from all this fun, I may also post links to .torrent files, so you can help spread the load around, but let’s learn to crawl first.

From here, I’ll be compiling and finishing up what I have of “babykiller.” and the alt.binaries.pictures.erotica.abortion record and releasing them (possibly as part of the same record; for some reason, I still hear the alt.abortion material in my head as part of the Scott Crawford live set). I probably won’t record any new tracks that I haven’t already, not yet, anyway, but I may tweak a few (For example, the vocal track on “If I Could” needs some serious help). I will probably also throw some bonus tracks up as I go through my archives and find stuff that doesn’t really fit anywhere else. Stay tuned!

While I’ll be doing all of this free of any kind of mandatory charge, and I think I’m going to move forward with that plan for the rest of the time I’m making music, donations of any size above $1.00 USD (below that, and PayPal fees make your donation kind of useless, sadly; if you want to give me less than a dollar, do it in person) are greatly appreciated. Donations will enable me to compensate the people who work on this music with me as best I can, as well as perform much-needed repairs and upgrades on my aging home studio. Ideally, this will result in more music being made and released, though I’m trying to take this music thing one tiny act at a time these days. In the meantime, thanks in advance for your continuing support, as well as for all the support you’ve given my music and I over the years. As always, if you have any questions about this release or anything else, suck@mybigblackcock.com.



Star muthafuckin’ Trek

Posted in My Big, Black Cock., Reviews: Scott Crawford on May 8th, 2009 by Scott Crawford

AWESOME. Just…awesome. Even if you’re big on NERD CANON and hate J.J. Abrams, you’re basically a pud if you don’t enjoy this film. Go see it this weekend, help it make a fuckton of money, and hopefully they’ll put out 100 more like it.

Just don’t go see it here.

It was the first theater we went to, and the sound went tits up in the theater 15 minutes into the movie. So, an angry mob marched into the lobby, demanding refunds or a restart of the movie in another theater, totally reasonable in an opening night situation. Alas, the help were DICKS. They gave us a litany of excuses, most of which were bullshit and passes…not refunds, but passes…to a theater that’d already fucked an entire audience out of our opening night Star Trek, so we could all come back and spend money in their snack bar AGAIN. Inexcusably bad customer service there (not to mention that paying three employees an hour’s worth of overtime would beat the hell out of the hit they’re gonna take from lost customers and giving out about 120 passes, even after the revenue from the snack bar), and I’ll be returning there today to raise holy hell with the manager, ideally to get our money back. Even if I do, avoid avoid AVOID Mega Movies in East Brunswick, NJ. I have passes to the place, and could take friends to see the movie for free tonight (I plan on seeing it in the theater at least one more time), but I’m totally hesitant because I don’t want to give their snack bar any business or have them go through a shitty experience like the one my group and I had there last night.

Now, a lot of you may be wondering how I saw the movie, if we went to the last showing somewhere and got fucked. Our tale is just beginning, even though, for a lot of folks, the
last show of the night at that dive we went to first meant going home unhappy.

Me? I wasn’t having it. I wanted my fucking Star Trek, and as the man said, “I don’t believe in the no-win scenario.”

So, just for the sheer hell of it, we went to the AMC/Loew’s theater up the highway, to see if perhaps they’d take pity on our poor, nerdy selves and maybe open another screen on the basis of our sob story and our inherently useless passes (since we were broke from getting hosed by theater #1). First gatekeeper was the security guard patrolling the parking lot in a truck. We told him the deal, and he was nice enough not to chase us off, telling us “hey, give it a try”. We go to the door, flag down gatekeeper #2, an employee who tried shooing us away at first, but we got him to come out and talk. Our sad, pathetic story of woe basically went: “We’re nerds and your competitors fucked us out of Star Trek. Help.” He took pity on us and let us in, directing us to the guest services counter, where the manager was. We repeated our story to him, and while he, like theater #1, couldn’t open another screen and was on his last showing of the night, he sighed said “wait here”, and went into his office. He returned with 3 passes from his theater, which he totally wasn’t obligated to do, and above and beyond that, he said “there’s a Regal Cinemas about 5 miles from here with a Midnight showing. They honor our passes sometimes. Go there, talk to (name of manager here), and you might get in. Good luck!”

Wow.

So, we got in the car, hauled ass down the road to theater #3 (it was 12:03 AM when we left theater 2), ran up to the ticket booth, and explained our story to the kid working it. He got on the walkie-talkie to a manager, who came to see us and heard our story, at which point she got on her walkie-talkie and talked to the manager whose name we were given and said “OK, let them in.” We walked in just as the Star Trek logo hit the screen, a few minutes into the movie, but we’d seen up to that point before the sound went tits up at theater #1.

Double wow.

Beyond awesome work from all parties involved aside from theater #1.

The movie theater business in general gets a lot of much-deserved shit heaped in its direction these days, because of stuff like the crap Mega Movies pulled on us, but everyone at the AMC theater and the Regal theater deserve a huge round of applause for doing things the right way and doing us a solid. They had absolutely no obligation to help three people who showed up when they were trying to close up and bugged them (and despite the sound of things, I didn’t walk in there thinking the world owed me a living; we were out late anyway, and figured we’d do it on a lark to see if anyone would help us), and yet, they did, and in one case, they even sent us to another competitor in the hopes that we’d have a good moviegoing experience there and STILL keep them in mind the next time we wanted to see a movie. They turned what could’ve been a crappy night and one that would’ve further soured me on the entertainment industry (an industry that, make no mistake about it, is a mess) into a great one. Huge kudos for that, and if anyone higher up from either AMC or Regal is reading this, the people on staff at those theaters deserve a raise. Don’t give them any shit, as they just earned you guys 3 regular customers.

So, yeah, great night.

The movie was as good if not better than the payoff of actually getting to see it last night against all odds. Go see that motherfucker, and if you’re in central New Jersey, I recommend doing so either at the AMC Loews New Brunswick 18 or the Regal Cinemas Commerce Center 18 in North Brunswick, but not at Mega Movies in East Brunswick, NJ.

© 2000-2008 Scott Crawford

On January 24th, 2001...