Yep, I’m still alive. I just haven’t had much to say on here over the past month and a half.

I’ve been much busier in other parts of the web that would probably bore the shit out of most of you, but where I’m having the most fun I’ve had writing in ages.

New Year’s Resolutions are on pace, sorta.

Everything else has been somewhere between delightfully and agonizingly quiet.

So, not a lot to say here at the moment. When I have something substantial to say, you’ll know about it. In the meantime, in addition to the aforementioned other parts of the web, I say some other sub-140 characters stuff here, if you’re kinda jonesing. If you’re really jonesing, I’m not above bribery.

As I do every year, and have for over a decade now, I’d like to provide you with the information necessary to tell those cocksuckers what you really think of their fucking holiday.

Hallmark:

Email: info@hallmark.com

Or call them at 1-800-HALLMARK

De Beers:

clientservices@debeers.com

Or call them (toll-free this year!) at 1 (888) 376 9230

If you have suggestions for customer service emails/phone numbers of companies that belong in my annual announcement (I actually like florists and flowers, so I usually give them a pass), let me know.

Have fun!