I barely got around to listening to much of anything this year. I’ve got a bunch of records I still need to familiarize myself with, so I may do another one of these lists in a few months now that I’ve remembered what I need to hear. That having been said, I’ve got 10 albums (one unfinished, weird as that is) that I’ve listened to as much as anything else this year, and one single that gets “Single Of The Year” despite a live version being on YouTube since mid-2008 (in fairness, the studio version just came out this year), and probably qualifies for “Single Of The Decade” (at the very least, it shares space on the podium with Andrew W.K.’s “Party Hard”).

Enough suspense. Here are, in no particular order, the best albums (and single) of 2010:

Accept
Blood Of The Nations
Nuclear Blast

This record kicks an unbelievably staggering, insane amount of fuckin’ ass. I said I wasn’t going in order, but I lied. This is the best album of 2010. Holy fuckin’ shit. Just go get a copy and listen to it a lot, so I don’t have to stab you or set you on fire or anything.

Ke$ha
Animal
RCA

She’s trolling us all. And I love her for it.

Tom Caruana
Wu-Tang Vs. The Beatles
deleted from Tea Sea Records

The final word in mashup records. You’ll have to dig around in some sketchy places to find a copy of this, but it’s so worth it.

Devo
Something For Everybody
Warner Bros.

It’s like they never took any time off at all. Devo are at the top of their game on this one, and they gave it the best record release party ever. All hail King Orange!

Roky Erickson & Okkervil River
True Love Cast Out All Evil
ANTI-

In every way, this record is a gift.

Celebration
Hello Paradise
Friends Records

Celebration are one of the best bands of the decade, and one of the best live acts I’ve ever seen. They’re not even finished releasing all the tracks from this record (you can get them all for free at their site, and get the vinyl when it comes out), and I still had to post this. Absolutely bewitching.

Ima Robot
Another Man’s Treasure
Werewolf Heart Records

Free of major label intrusion, Ima Robot have released an album that’s pure art. It’s kind of like their “Spilt Milk”, if you’re familiar with the band Jellyfish (no similarity in sound, just the same “art for art’s sake” approach). Layers upon layers upon layers. I hear Lennon, I hear The Cure, I hear Perry Farrell on his good days, and I still hear Ima Robot in there somewhere, too. This one’s a trip and a half.

Monster Magnet
Mastermind
Napalm Records

Do not attempt to listen to this record while driving unless you want to drive really fast, destroy your ear drums and flip the bird at random people in other cars. Yep, kids, Dave’s got his mojo back.

Hole
Nobody’s Daughter
Mercury Records

Courtney, you done good.

Meat Loaf
Hang Cool Teddy Bear
Roadrunner Records/Loud & Proud Records

What can you say? It’s Meat Loaf. People find ways, I suppose, but I find it pretty much impossible not to like the guy. He’s almost like a throwback to the vaudeville days in a rock n’ roll sorta way, and this record’s no exception to that. Seeing him play the material live really drove it home for me, too. Good people, that Mr. Loaf.

And last, but certainly not least, the best single of 2010:

A Lost People
Big Booty Bitches
A Lost People

Now, the first video for this musical masterpiece came out in 2008, but the studio version was released this year. I don’t care if the song came out in 1928, it’s still the single of the year. As I said above, it might even be the single of the decade. Oh, that video? Feast your eyes on it!

That’s all for now. As I listen to more of what came out in ’10, I may make another list of “Stuff I didn’t hear in the first 11 1/2 months of the year”, but this is what I got to that I really, really enjoyed.

This Week: Me 1, Fear 0
Total Score: Me 40, Fear 26

This week’s instance is really, really marginal by “fear” standards, honestly, but it’s the best I’ve got. As some of you know, I travel short-distance a lot these days. I’m only home for 4 days out of 7, sometimes less. As I was about to do it last weekend, I got hit by a wave of homesickness, and despite me liking where I was going and who I was going to see there quite a bit, it was a struggle for me to get out the door and drive there. I didn’t anticipate anything bad happening, but sometimes, I do just feel like staying home, even if I really do a shit job of enjoying the comforts of home when I’m here most of the time. I made it there OK, though, and I had a very good weekend, so in the end, I overcame…something. Was it fear? Laziness? Just homesickness, as I described above? I’ll put one in the plus column for me for now, but I’m not totally sure if this was fear. This wasn’t me thinking that I’m going to be shot when I open the front door to my house or get out of my car. (I have those thoughts a lot, thanks to December 8th, 1980 and too many movies after that date. Weird that I think we made it to Week 50 without it coming up. For my part on this, I just look around and make sure the coast is clear.) This wasn’t me being afraid of any kind of dying at all. It wasn’t me afraid of natural catastrophe, poverty, homelessness, war, pain, disease, being alone, losing people I care about, accomplishing less than I want to in life, or any of those other consuming types of fear you hear about from folks, some of them me, some of them not. I just struggled with the idea of leaving home a bit. Does that count? Am I reaching to fill up space here?

I’ll try to get Week 51 in sooner than I did Week 50. Then, we do Week 52 sometime around or after the 27th and a wrap-up after New Year’s Eve. Crap, I’m going to have to read all 52 weeks of this to do that.

This Week: Me 0, Fear 0
Current Score: Me 39, Fear 26

This week was really that quiet. See you next week!

This Week: Me 1, Fear 0
Current Score: Me 39, Fear 26

Had a run-in with my old pal bureaucracy this week. It sucks when that happens, but I’m not panicking despite a serious fucking-up of my month because of it, which is pretty cool. The lack of panic, that is. The fucking-up of my month, and the fascist douchebag governor who gave the order to initiate the bureaucratic nonsense, not so much.

Really all I have to report, though. Onto next week, and the beginning of the last month of this experiment!

“Enjoy every sandwich.”

And remember to give thanks.

This Week: Fear 1, Me 0
Current Score: Me 38, Fear 26

I took steps to jumpstart my working on music this week, Harry Nilsson documentary be damned! (It is pretty great, but damn it anyway!)

One of the steps I took was to figure out what made me unhappy the last time I was making music on a regular basis, and resolve not to do those things, even if it makes me seem like a primadonna. I don’t want to make music to climb the food chain. If I’m going to make it, I’m going to make it for the joy of doing so. No joy, no music. If supposed “opportunities” are missed because they don’t seem like any fun to pursue, so be it.

That’s about it here, really. Tune in next time, when I talk about Thanksgiving (which should, knock wood, be fairly quiet and stress-free).

And again I slack off, but in this case, it wasn’t “the new laziness” as described by Seth Godin, though we will touch on that in a moment. I’ve just been really busy and dodging sleep disasters.

Weeks 44-46: Fear 3, Me 0
Current Score: Me 37, Fear 26

Some things that scared me over the past few weeks, and I have been keeping track:

After watching The Walking Dead a week or two ago, I went out to the store to get a snack. Walking outside onto an empty street late at night after that show…yep, definitely scary. Of course, to me, this is a sign of really effective entertainment. I haven’t seen all of them, but I’ve seen more zombie movies than most, I’ve read the entire Walking Dead comic series (consistently among the best reading comics have to offer), I’ve had dreams where I’m trapped in the zombie apocalypse at least a few times a month since childhood, and I’ve met George Romero. I haven’t read the Max Brooks stuff yet, but it’s safe to say I’m familiar with zombies otherwise. This also puts me in a position of being jaded and having a pretty high bar set for anything I see in the genre. To genuinely get the heebie-jeebies from a TV show…well, I’ve got no choice but to offer kudos to the creators. Now, at least for now, as far as we know, zombies don’t exist. Should a grown man be afraid of something from a horror TV show that doesn’t exist? Probably not. Point off here, but it’s a point I’ll happily cede.

I was too intimidated to say hi to David Byrne when he sat behind me at Pee-wee Herman last week, or to say hi to Susan Sarandon when I saw her after the show. Interestingly, I had no problem saying hi to John Waters on the same night, so it’s not all folks whose work I respect that I have this problem with. Every once in a while, this stuff gets me, though. Still need to work on it. Great bodies of work or not, they’re just people. Point off, even if I’ve addressed the subject before. This one’s annoying me enough to make me break my own rules.

I also had a run-in or two with bureaucracy recently, and it reminded me, as it does every time I deal with our inefficient, corrupt government, of just how soul-sucking a thing it is to let them have much control over your destiny. I’m still shaking this feeling off, 2 weeks later. Alas, for the time being, I can’t shake the government off, but I need to find a better way to avoid feeling totally dejected when dealing with the gummint. Point off here, too, again, despite any past reference I’ve made to it because of this project. It’s getting close to the end of the year, and given the concerted effort I’ve put into things, I should not still be disarmed as easily as I am by what are common occurrences in my life.

Wow, I’ve sucked recently! I kid, but I really need to make a point to try and face the next scary thing I run into head-on, in a mature, sensible way.

To get back to Seth’s post on “the new laziness”, I’m not entirely sure that I’d use the word “laziness” in every situation where an uncomfortable and off-putting amount of mental or emotional labor scares someone into avoidance, because damn it, some of those situations are really hard for even the well-adjusted to cope with. However, I do commend Seth for calling attention to the fact that those situations exist in the first place. So often, people are dismissive (I’ve been guilty of it myself more than a few times, alas) when they hear about a situation that someone’s having mental or emotional difficulty addressing. Sometimes, when things are easy for us, or when we’re not familiar with the ground someone else is treading on, it’s way too easy to say “oh, just deal with it”, because in our minds, if we see something as not too difficult, it has a tendency to be viewed as not too difficult for anyone. That’s not always the case. I’ve spent most of a year writing about my own difficulties, even on something as simple as quietly saying “Hi. I grew up enjoying your work. Thank you.” to people I admire, and I see examples of other people running into a whole mess of trouble doing “the easy stuff” every day. As I grow older, I also find myself developing a deeper understanding of why people couldn’t deal with certain things in the past that I just couldn’t wrap my head around when I was younger. Again, I have trouble using the word “laziness” to describe any of it, because dealing with uncomfortable situations is scary, and fear is exhausting (more than just about any other thing we encounter aside from pain), but kudos to Seth for at least shining a light on the subject and inspiring further discussion (as he often does).

I will seriously, seriously try to post about Week 47 on Monday. Give me a hard time about it if I don’t.

Quick links:

Marathon web site | Watch Live In U.S. (Silverlight required, stupid paywall may be in place too)
Elite Men Bios | Elite Women Bios | Elite Wheeler Bios
My Quick n’ Dirty Pre-Game Analysis

9 AM: OK, let’s get started, people! For those of you drinking while watching, take a drink every time you hear the words “Chilean miner”.

9:05 AM: Al Roker didn’t sleep! Meridith Vieira is running with him! Are these 2 things related?

9:06 AM: Drink again, here’s Edison Pena!

9:11 AM: Elite women starting. “Hell’s Bells” playing. That’s not right. Derartu Tulu looks like she means business. Ludmilla Petrova does too. And the ladies are off!

RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!11111

Jane’s Addiction playing now. New DJ this year?

9:13 AM: the starting temperature is 40 degrees, which is ideal, but it is kinda windy today.

9:15 AM: Oh, guys, don’t make Lady Gaga references. Please, guys.

9:23 AM: 45K runners today!. That’s just nuts. Oh, and the marathon has a Twitters now. Katie McGregor’s in the lead among the elite women, about 2/3 through the Verrazano . “Chilean miner”, drink! Haile Gebrselassie, first-timer, but with an insane resume, looking relaxed and happy.

9:27 AM: Women moving onto 4th Ave., Mara Yamauchi near the head of the pack, wind already a factor. Amani Toomer being interviewed. Damn interested to see how he does. He’s shooting for mid-pack from a last position, and a sub-4 hour time.

9:34 AM: Wheeler coverage, nice little profile of Kurt Fearnley. Hopefully they don’t totally neglect the division again on the live broadcast. Mayor Bloomberg giving a shoutout to Al and Meridith.

9:40 AM: 4 minutes from the start of the full race. “Chilean miner”, drink! Profiles of the elite men, who are at the starting line! Marilson Gomes dos Santos looks slightly less nervous than usual. Haile Gebrselassie looks very happy to be here. And Meb looks kinda tired, not sure what that means for his race.

9:43 AM: Here we go, folks! Edison Pena! Drink!

Elite men and the first wave starting!

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9:46 AM: Yamauchi, Erkkesso and Daunay heading the womens’ pack at the moment.

9:54 AM: Fearnley just ahead of Schabort at the 25K mark, according to teh Twitters. Daunay looking strong for the women at about 8 miles. Tulu making her way to the front of the pack. Men at mile 2, on a slower pace because of the wind.

9:55 AM: There’s a dude from the main pack in 2nd place in the elite pack! Go anonymous dude!

9:57 AM: Bouramdane’s making a VERY early go at separating himself from the pack. He’s done this before if I’m not mistaken, but never this early. I can’t see this ending well.

10:02 AM: Five Borough Challenge started. Elite men shuffling quite a bit. Awww, anonymous dude is gone. Mens’ pack is at around 16 just past the 5K mark. “Chilean miner”, drink!

10:06 AM: David Weir and Masazumi Soejima (error earlier, sorry ’bout that) in a great finish for the wheelers, who I really wish we actually got to see before the finish line. Weir wins! Fearnley finishes 3rd! Times when I get ‘em! Congrats to all these fellers!

10:16 AM: Meb in the mens’ lead, Abitova has taken the womens’ lead. Wind or no, it looks like a beautiful day out there. Meb pushing the pack a bit right now, but nothing crazy. Ramaala starting to up his game as well. Lots of juggling in the mens’ pack before the water station.

10:19 AM: Another wave takin’ off!

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10:21 AM: Mile 11 for the women, mile 7 for the men. The women have spread! (No, not like that, you perverts.) Wider pack than I’ve seen in a while.

10:22 AM: Elite men just passed the 5 Borough Challenge folks. I’ve never seen that happen on camera, pretty cool.

10:25 AM: Womens’ pack have shuffled all over the place. Smith, Erkesso and Pushkareva over there. Mutai, Bouramdane and Gebrselassie on the mens’ side.

10:26 AM: Whoa, Jared Fogle and Roker are in with the elite men! How the hell did that happen? That had to be someone in the booth goofing on us.

10:30 AM: “Chilean miner”! Drink! The cameras lost him at the beginning of the race, still trying to find him. Good job! Women just off the Pulaski Bridge, taking their time.

10:33 AM: Tatyana McFadden wins the female wheelers’ race! Congrats to her! “Chilean miner”! Drink! They found him, everybody!

10:34 AM: Women at 14, Men at 9. At some point, probably just after the 1st Ave. turn, the womens’ pack is going to EXPLODE. Very controlled pace so far, very tense.

10:36 AM: Commentators seem to think Paula Radcliffe’s running this year, judging by how many times they’ve mentioned her.

10:40 AM: Women are on the 59th Street Bridge. Still about 15 in the pack. Man, I’m glad I don’t have to drive in Queens very often anymore.

10:43 AM: Women headed onto 1st Ave. Men still hanging with Haile. Commentators just said “the Twitter”. Please kill me.

10:46 AM: A little bit of a mess at the water stations at the end of the bridge. Here they come onto 1st Ave.! Crowd is immediately loud, unsurprisingly. Boom. No move being made yet, but it’s comin’.

10:47 AM: I still like Petrova. The experience edge is hers, she’s got an insane pain tolerance and she’s running a very smart race.

10:49 AM: 3rd wave is finally out there!

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“Chilean miner”! Drink!

10:56 AM: There was a break in the mens’ pack right before the 3rd wave started and they went to commercial, let’s see what’s up there. Nope, they reined the two man break right back in there.

Toomer’s running, finally!

“Chilean miner”, drink! Rut roh, knee issue for Pena.

Mens’ elites, Mutai, Gebrselassie and Meb are still the strongest, though they’re juggling. Kwambai’s making his presence felt. Ramaala’s still hangin’ around. Mile 14 there.

16 women still hauling ass at mile 18.

10:57 AM: I think Al Trautwig has a crush on Shalane Flanagan. (As do the producers of the telecast. 3 minute video piece on her in the middle of the race? Jeez.)

10:59 AM: Christina Ripp and Amanda McGrory took 2nd and 3rd in the wheeler race, congrats to them!

11:05 AM: Gebrselassie is out! The knee that’s bothered him recently just plain went. Men on 1st Ave. now, all the runners are pushing each other finally. Mutai pushing everyone again. Meb went to about 50 meters back, I think that’s a strategic move, though.

11:08 AM: Tulu’s fallen off the pack, more than likely ending her chances. Kim Smith of New Zealand leading, Petrova in 2nd!

11:10 AM: Mens’ pack starting to resemble the usual players, with Goumri and Gomes Dos Santos in the top 5 now.

11:11 AM: I love the Nissan Leaf commercial with the dude hugging the bear.

11:15 AM: “Chilean miner’, drink! Women at mile 21, 12 in the pack. Men at mile 18, Bouramdane in the lead for the men, Smith still there for the women. Petrova still in 2nd!

11:18 AM: Kwambai throwin’ down! Awkward stride, but he’s haulin’. Mutai stepping up, Bouramdane, Gebrmariam still hangin’.

11:20 AM: Mile 23 for the women, Flanagan is leading now! Ad execs everywhere begin drooling!

11:21 AM: Flanagan, Keitany, Kiplagat…Petrova fallen off to 8th, that’s gonna be tough to make up.

11:23 AM: Mutai, Kwambai, Bouramdane, Gebrmariam, and Gomes dos Santos in it for the men. Mile 20 there.

11:25 AM: Mutai and Gebrmariam have pulled ahead!

11:30 AM: Yeah, Trautwig’s in love.

11:32 AM: Edna Kiplagat has pushed ahead to the lead, Flanagan fading a bit, but pushing back! Kitane fading a bit. Kiplagat FLYING now.

11:33 AM: I think Kiplagat’s got this in the bag handlily. Kwambai’s back, on the mens’ side!

11:38 AM: Kiplagat is so far ahead of the competitors that it’s disgusting now. I can’t remember the last New York where you couldn’t see 2nd and 3rd place. Flanagan is in 2nd now, but she’s got no chance.

11:39 AM: Hey, ladies!

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11:40 AM: Edna Kiplagat wins! Shalane Flanagan second! Mary Kitane 3rd! Congrats to the ladies! Times coming up!

11:42 AM: Time to drink, “Chilean miner”! He’s at mile 12, folks!

11:45 AM: Kwambai dropped off, men just past the 2 hour mark, still Mutai and Gebrmariam neck-and-neck. Gebrmariam laboring a little more, but that’s not always an indication of what’s gonna happen at mile 24 or 25. Gebrmariam moving! Smiling, even!

11:47 AM: Gebrmariam putting this one away, another race totally dominated on the back 2 miles.

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11:57 AM: Here he comes! Gebre Gebrmariam wins the ING NYC Marathon, very happily I might add! 2:08:14-ish! Hugging everyone! Emmanuel Mutai is 2nd, about a minute back. Moses Kigen Kipkosgei in at 3rd! Congrats to them! When we come back…the other people!

12:03 PM: “Chilean miner” (drink) update via teh Twitters: he’s at the halfway mark! Roker’s past his first 10K. Deena Kastor interviewing Edna Kiplagat right now. Kiplagat’s a beautiful lady, wow.

12:04 PM: “Chilean miner”, drink!

12:07 PM: “Chilean miner”, drink again! He’s favoring his knee, slowing up a bit, but hangin’ in there.

12:13 PM: Awards time! Actually been a few years since we’ve seen a podium mostly filled with Kenyans.

12:20 PM: Gebre Gebrmariam looks so fresh for a guy who just ran his ass off. Can’t stop smiling. Awesome.

12:23 PM: “Chilean miner”, drink! Edison Pena’s on the 59th Street Bridge! Awards ceremony and a sandwich when we return!

12:31 PM: Crap, out of bread, but it’s time to drink again, as Edison Pena’s on my TV! He wants to smack people as much for the attention he’s getting as I do right now, as he’s laboring and people keep taking pictures of him n’ shit. Let the man run his race!

12:34 PM: Hey, NBC. This isn’t Smackdown. Fewer video packages, more real people!

12:39 PM: And NBC answers with…a Five Borough Challenge video package.

12:56 PM: These guys are killing me with the wastes of television time. Drink if you saw the miner walking. First cop vs. fireman challenge guy has shown up. Oy. “Survivor” contestants. Their stories are on the celeb page I linked to on Friday, and they’re both running for charity, but do they really need more TV time? And now they’re killing TV time with what’s essentially a Nissan Leaf ad during the race broadcast, rather than on the break. I know they have to make money, but jeez.

12:58 PM: To the douchebags who hit the Athlete Tracker with a DoS attack: your parents must be very proud.

12:59 PM: C’mon, marathon coverage. Give me something to cheer about.

1 PM: Chilean miner update, drink. He’s in the medical tent icing down his feet. Also: whoa, Haile Gebrselassie retired!

1:05 PM: Ahhh, finally some regular folks! A couple (or at least 2 people who look like they’d be a good one) who met on the Willis Ave. Bridge. Here’s a physical therapist who’s running for people who can’t, good for him. And another video package for the “Run For Something Better”. Couldn’t they cover this stuff on the pre-game show?

1:09 PM: Apologies to you guys for being a grumpy old man about this stuff, but I really do feel like the viewers and the participants are being cheated here. I’d like to see my single favorite sporting event (even more than the World Series, because this happens on one day) given the great coverage that it truly deserves. To me, that means live coverage of as many people and as many stories as possible. Since I was a kid and I’d happen upon the coverage, that’s what made me keep watching, and I think the NBC Universal people are getting away from that, focusing on the money in the race instead. I’m not naive, I know that plenty of it has to happen, but there’s a balance that I think is being lost.

1:12 PM: “Chilean miner” alert, he’s in BAD shape. Still walking, with ice bags on his knees, but struggling. Keep on, man. For the rest of you, keep drinkin’.

1:14 PM: And yet another video package, this time they’re talking about the International Friendship Run.

1:22 PM: Oh jeez! Some dude ran the marathon wearing Gene Simmons makeup! Don’t tell Gene, he’ll have his lawyers demanding royalties.

1:28 PM: Nice father-son team on right now, the dad has an epic beard!

1:34 PM: David Meek from the Bronx wins the Five Borough Challenge nice time of 3:26:28. Congrats to him!

1:44 PM: Amani Toomer update: he’s on the Willis Ave. Bridge, and has passed many people. Can’t wait to hear the final tally.

1:48 PM: Wheelers! Love these guys.

1:52 PM: Firemen win the Mayor’s Cup this year.

1:55 PM: Anthony Edwards! Gilbert’s lookin’ older, man. Building a children’s hospital in Kenya, though, that’s kinda awesome. Hey, they found Jared finally! He’s full of energy, that guy.

1:56 PM: “Chilean miner”, drink! Edison’s in the Bronx mile, a few more to go, man. He’ll make it.

2 PM: OK, NBC’s signing off, so I’m gonna wrap up, folks. What did I see this year? A lot of video recaps, that’s for sure, but I won’t dwell on that any further. I saw a lot of people busting their asses, like I do every year. I saw a world champion humbled by the race, and a man who survived for almost 3 months underground hobbled, but along with them, I saw the usual metric fuckton of triumphs. The elite races were more like half marathons in the mens’ and womens’ divisions, as everyone ran very deliberate races this time out. New champions were crowned in every major race. And, above and beyond all the pro stuff, thousands of people are out there right now running a race that I can personally say is absolute murder to train for, and almost all of them will finish that race. I didn’t get in this year, but I’m registering tomorrow afternoon for next year, and come hell or high water, I will be one of those thousands of long-suffering bastards trying to conquer that city one of these years. Every year, I’m inspired by them. Every time I see someone running on the side of a road, I’m inspired. I’ve been writing these reports for 10 years now, and I hope that I did this one some justice, and that you had fun and found some inspiration in it while you were reading it. If any of you who read my stuff ran today, pop in and tell us all about your experience! Signing off for now, with one final….

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UUUUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!11111111

The bad news is, as I mentioned back in April, I didn’t get in. (I’ll be entering the lottery for 2011 on Monday.) The good news is that I’ll be here providing up-to-the-minute coverage for the 10th straight year! I should be “on the air” sometime after 7 AM tomorrow morning to pre-game a bit more, though the official TV race coverage starts at 9 AM.

To get you started, check out the pro mens’ bios (a very strong field), womens’ bios(very different field than we’re used to seeing, with a lot of women making their debut at the distance) and pro wheelers’ bios (maybe the best field ever for the division…NBC, please actually cover it!) over at the official marathon site.

Lots of folks are, of course, focusing on the participation of Edison Pena, the rescued Chilean miner, and we’ve probably all seen those commercials with Jared Fogle, the Subway guy, training for the race. I turned up a list of some of the other celebrity participants here for those who are into that sort of thing. Anthony Edwards is BACK, ladies and gentlemen! Also, place your bets on whether Robin Quivers will beat Al Roker’s time, or whether ex-football Giant Amani Toomer will pass any or all of the people I just mentioned!

On a personal level, I’m excited to see that the NY Road Runners club will be honoring one of my favorites, 2005 winner Paul Tergat, with the 2010 Abebe Bikila Award (given to a select few people who make what is described as “an outstanding contribution to the sport of distance running”) this weekend. Paul retired from competitive racing last year, alas, but it’s nice to see him get this kind of acknowledgment from the club.

Finally today, if you or someone you know is running tomorrow, and you’d like me to keep tabs on them or mention them during the race, leave a message in the comments or email me. Given the name and occasional nature of this site, I am more than happy to just mention first names, but either way, let me know, and if you’re running for a cause, feel free to tell me a little about it so I can share with the group.

That’s all for now. I’ll see you all tomorrow. If you’re running, have a great race, and don’t forget to RUNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!1111

…when I used to alternate between humor and righteous anger on this site?

Yeah, me neither.

Weeks 41-43: Me 2, Fear 4
Current Score: Me 37, Fear 23

Shit. Let’s see if I can even remember all of what I should’ve been afraid of but wasn’t, what I have been afraid of, and of that, what I’ve managed to overcome since last I wrote.

• Recently, my stomach problems (I either have acid reflux syndrome or an ulcer, more likely the former) led me to a point where, when I woke up in the morning, my saliva was streaked with blood. Bottom line, kids: caffeine, sugar and chocolate are not on my menu for a while, at least not to the degree that I was allowing them in. I’ve reined it in a bit, and I’m feeling better. No blood. When I find my next doctor (I’m between them at the moment), I’ll mention this to them, and see whether they think it’s worth attending to. Last doctor was basically like “Fuck it, if Zantac works, go with that”, but I’m not really feeling that. Hard to find a doctor you can trust nowadays. But yeah, waking up and spitting up blood? Scary. I’m dealing with it to a degree, but probably not to the degree I should be. Let’s put this in the minus column.
• Aside from myself, I’ve been worried for a bunch of other people in my life and on the periphery of it who are not in the best of health at the moment. I’m trying to be strong for them, and I think I’m doing OK there, but it ain’t easy. Never is. Plus column for now, though.
• I’ve had a great deal of money-related anxiety lately, but not the kind we’ve covered ad nauseum here before. You see, for about a minute, I actually had the illusion of having money. That’s fucking scarier than not having any. You know what you’re working with, when you’re working with nothing. When you have a little, especially when you’re an overthinker like I am, the gut reaction is to try and make every cent, even the ones you’re royally pissing away, count and last and mean something. They all have to blaze with the power of a million exploding blowjobs, to steal from two or three writers whose work I enjoy. Frankly, it’s impossible to do that nowadays, or damned close anyway. I’m coming back to Earth now, but for a few weeks there, I was insufferable and I apologize to anyone I talked to during that time. Total minus column, but a learning experience, hopefully.
• Some crazy cocksucker damn near killed me and several other people on the road the other day. Speeding until he almost hit me, swerving all over the road, just a mess. I got the hell away from him, and called 911 to report him. No idea if anyone stopped or even found him (he turned onto another road right before I was able to pull over and call), but hopefully he didn’t end up hurting someone else or even himself. I had to retype this story a few times, just to keep the amount of personally identifying information to a bare minimum, but if you’re the dude who was behind me, freaking me out and you’ve somehow found this site, be more careful! Sorry if you got into any trouble you didn’t want to be in, but you were doing some fucked up shit, man. Try not to kill me for calling the fuzz on you, thanks. The other day was scary enough. So let’s see, I lived, didn’t panic on the road, did what a responsible driver should do, and even left an open letter on my web site asking my mysterious antagonist not to take any of his self-created trouble out on me. Let’s put this one in the plus column.
• The fourth quarter of the year scares the hell out of me. One minute, it’s September 15th, and the next, you’re making plans for January. Some say that time always moves that quickly, but I’d argue that you get put through the ringer worse in Q4 because of the holidays, the end of year business and so forth. I can’t slow down time, but I really do want to make a concerted effort to choose how I spend said time more carefully in the 4th quarter of next year. Already experimenting with it on this year, but it’s, of course, hit and miss without a plan, and I still have whiplash. Minus column.
• I’ve been thinking a lot lately about starting work on music again in January (See? This year’s fucked!) and even talking to people about it here and there, but I watched Who Is Harry Nilsson (And Why Is Everybody Talkin’ About Him?) (official site here, but I figure you guys are more likely to actually watch this if I spoonfeed you an instant Netflix link) the other night and frankly, making music, even if I don’t do it in the music business per se, scares the living hell out of me right now. Don’t get me wrong, the film is utterly fantastic, but it reminded me that even the process of creating music that brings joy to ourselves and others can be fucking heartbreaking and soul-destroying. Right now, I’m scared of it. A few months ago, watching Meat Loaf do it in front of a crowd, it seemed like fun. Now maybe that’s because Meat Loaf’s more of a fun guy than Harry Nilsson was, but the anecdotes don’t exactly line up and tell that story. Meat Loaf’s also had more than his share of heartache over the course of his career, so him having fun now (or at least portraying a guy who is on stage) may just be a testament to the fact that he’s survived, or one to the fact that music itself can be fun, but the business sucks. I’ve run into more than my share of situations where things sucked before we even got to the business end of it all, though, so like I said, I need to tread lightly. Minus column with this, but down the road, in the overall mental health picture, I may end up calling this a plus.

I think that’s all I’ve got for now. If I think of more, I’ll add it at some point in the next 9 weeks.

Maybe 3 or 4 minutes running, the rest walking.

Total time: 54 minutes
Total mileage: 2.8 miles

Overdid it out of the gate. I was gassed by the time I made it to the half mile mark. Recovered from that, and then my knee started mildly barking at me about 3/10 of a mile before the turnaround point. Having already lost Monday to an unexpected 2 mile walk on Saturday that killed my left leg dead, I decided to play it safe and head home. Felt good on the way home, mile dull knee pain aside.

Onward to Friday.

Same route, slightly less jogging.

Total Time: 1 hour, 4 minutes (shaved a minute off by not jogging, ha!)
Total mileage: 3.4 miles (I Googled it)

Still sore from Wednesday, though not “something’s wrong” sore. Breathing was better for the first half, though I got a little gassed and overheated on the home stretch. Still, not bad.

Onward to Monday and probably the same workout. I want to pwn this distance before adding more.

This Week: Me 0, Fear 0
Current Score: Me 35, Fear 19

Nothing new to report, still. Same old money/time/stuff/legacy thoughts, mostly reined in with an exception for a minor braindump on last Thursday.

Onward to next week. This weekend should be interesting. I’ll talk about it soon.

OK, enough fucking around. Back to work!

First off, scrapped the gym. Great facility, but the distance between my house and the gym created a mental transaction that didn’t need to be there, and I’ve also been travelling too much to keep up a steady regimen. I was getting financial aid from the Y to be there, too, so I feel better knowing that the aid will go to a kid who needs it and will use it.

Didn’t keep track of how much I walked and how much I jogged today. I didn’t jog a lot, truthfully. I did get my ass moving, though, and I kept it moving, because these 30 minute workouts really weren’t cutting it.

Total time: 1 hour and 5 minutes
Total mileage: 3.4 miles (I Googled it)

I literally pulled a Robert Frost today, taking the right end of the fork in the road for the first time in 2 1/2 years. Worthwhile, as it took me way out into the furthest part of the park I work out in for the first time. I got a good, mostly pain-free workout and my breathing didn’t suck.

Good to be back. Gonna shoot for another round on Friday. Yell at me if it doesn’t happen.